Divorce is one of the hardest life experiences that a person will ever go through, and it is certainly not anyone’s ideal situation. However, when all is said and done and a dissolution is the only viable solution, you do not have to harbor negativity or dwell on the past. Rather, you can opt to see the silver lining and choose to use the experience as an opportunity to grow and learn from divorce.

Below are four lessons you will probably learn during your divorce. Taking them to heart can help ease the transition to your new lifestyle.

Lesson 1: Sometimes, it is for the best.

Divorce can be incredibly hard and painful, but sometimes, it really is for the best. Granted, it is probably hard to imagine life outside of marriage while still married, but when staying together is unhealthy and makes you deeply unhappy, and when you know deep down that the relationship is unsalvageable, dissolution can offer hope and healing. When you start the dissolution process, you begin to see that everybody is better off.

Lesson 2: It is not always someone’s fault.

Divorce is not always someone’s fault. Sometimes two people just simply are not a good match for each other. Marriage is a two-way street; it takes two partners to make it work and sometimes a couple just cannot overcome compatibility issues.

Even when there is a root cause of the divorce, such as infidelity, blame and anger only cause pain and turmoil for the person holding onto grudges. Eliminating blame from your divorce and mindset will release you from a heavy and unnecessary burden.

Lesson 3: Advice is plentiful – but not always pertinent.

You will learn very quickly that your situation – your marriage, your divorce, and your post-divorce life – are unique to you. Friends and family will probably come out of the woodwork in droves giving you advice and sharing their stories. And while it is fine to listen to their input, you do not have to take everything they say to heart. Filter it carefully, use what is helpful, and leave the rest behind.

Lesson 4: You need to be proactive with your financial health.

In the majority of marriages, there is usually one spouse who handles most of the finances. If you did not play an active role in your finances during your marriage, your divorce will quickly teach you the importance of monitoring and staying active in managing your financial health.

Budgeting, saving, investments, financial protections, maximizing earnings, and estate planning are all essential aspects of sound finances. Take basic classes in money management or see a financial professional if you need direction for your life after divorce.

For more information about divorce, be sure to check out our piece on facts about divorce or check out some of the other posts on our blog and feel free to call Molly with any questions about your divorce.

Contact me at 425-460-0550.

Molly B. Kenny
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Divorce and Child Custody Attorney Serving Bellevue and Seattle Washington