We don’t choose when our marriage fails or falls apart. It could be after forty years of happiness or mere months after the wedding. For some couples, the divorce discussion enters at one of the worst times: when raising a baby or infant.


If you are in the midst of a divorce while raising an infant – or just considering a divorce after the birth of a baby, also consider these points:


  • Realize you are in a time of transition. Honestly, the first few years with a new child are difficult: everyone is sleep-deprived, arguments might arise about the distribution of housework, and there may be disagreements about how to raise the child. When considering divorce during this time, it is vital that you make sure that your decision isn’t based on the temporary difficulties of having a young child. Sometime having a child only clarifies doubts you had or solidifies your feelings – consider this possibility as well.
  • Know that your infant can feel and think, even now. Divorcing couples with babies often assume that the child isn’t affected by fights, tension, crying, and negative emotions. This isn’t the case. Even very young children know when something is wrong and could be affected. Be sure to keep your child in a positive, loving environment even if you and your spouse continue to have conflicts while not around the child and even if you and your spouse do decide to divorce.
  • Realize that you need to spend time with your child. Even though your relationship with your spouse might end, your relationship to your child is ongoing. The first few years of life are vital to a child’s development and bonding – be sure you are there to make a lasting impression.
  • Know that fathers might not gain physical custody at first. Very young children need to spend time with their mothers, especially if they are breastfeeding. For this reason, fathers should understand that their visitation time might be limited until the child is older.


The best thing to do when divorcing with a young baby or infant is to keep the child’s best interests and needs at the forefront throughout the transition. Your baby needs both of its parents and a stable environment – even if you and your spouse cannot make your romantic relationship work.


Do you need the assistance of a Seattle divorce lawyer? Call Molly Kenny today.

Molly B. Kenny
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Divorce and Child Custody Attorney Serving Bellevue and Seattle Washington