Seattle Family Law Blog: Divorce, Child Custody, Domestic Violence & Mediation

Seattle Divorce Attorney: No Prenuptial Agreement in Kobe Bryant Divorce

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

This week, the details of the divorce settlement between basketball star Kobe Bryant and wife Vanessa were reported. Of the couple’s estimated $150 million in assets, Vanessa will receive $75 million in addition to ownership of the couple’s three Newport Beach homes. The NBA power couple was married for ten years. They have two daughters and a joint custody parenting plan. Vanessa listed “irreconcilable differences” when she filed for divorce in December.

According to reports from family members, the couple did not sign a prenuptial agreement when they wed in 2001 after knowing each other for two years. That fact, paired with a ten-year marriage, likely entitles Vanessa to half of the family’s fortune under divorce law. The length of the marriage and a lack of prenuptial agreement may also mean ongoing spousal support payments and part of Kobe Bryant’s retirement funds.

Legal experts believe that a prenuptial agreement would have saved Kobe Bryant much of his earnings, as the top-paid professional basketball player in the world. According to Vanessa’s cousin Laila Laine, Kobe “loved her too much” for one.

Whether or not you have a prenuptial agreement, a Seattle divorce attorney can help you navigate your divorce and make certain that your outcome is as fair as possible under the law. To learn more during an informational consultation, call the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny today.

When it Comes to Divorce Proceedings, Guilt May Be a Good Thing

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

A new study regarding guilt and divorce has made a surprising discovery about the usually-negative emotion: feeling guilty can actually boost cooperation and problem-solving when it comes to divorce proceedings and settlements.
A new article in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that guilt more than any other emotions helped divorcing parties accommodate each other, act in a less intimidating manner, and be less forceful during negotiations. These changes resulted in shorted, less acrimonious and less expensive divorces.
The study, which was conducted by Ann Wietzker of Ghent University, followed over 450 divorcing couples, most of whom had children and most of whom had been married for over a decade.
The study also found that the emotion of shame had the opposite effect on cooperation and compromise during divorce – because it is associated with feelings of worthlessness and incompetence, those who feel shame are more likely to turn inward than those who only feel guilt. Guilt – the feeling that you have hurt another person – leads to more social actions related to healing that hurt.
Are you going through a Washington State divorce and need the assistance of a Bellevue divorce lawyer? The attorneys at the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny are here to help. Call us today at 425.460.0550 to learn more about how we can help you with a fast and fair divorce.

Taking Charge of Your Personal Story Can Help You Heal from Divorce

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Perhaps the most difficult aspect of divorce is dealing with the depression and emotional turmoil that often accompanies the breakup of a long-term relationship. Many divorcees have trouble escaping from negative thoughts, self-blame, feelings of failure, and regret. Even though they know that divorce was the right choice for them, their mental well-being is damaged for months and even years after the end of their marriage.
A new study, however, offers newly divorced men and women a novel way of dealing with the negative emotions that come with the process of starting over. The research, which followed about 50 patients through 14 weeks of therapy, found that writing down your own narrative of events and feelings can significantly increase your sense of self, clarify your understanding of the event, and improve your overall mental health.
Why do personal storytelling and journaling help divorced and struggling people get back on the right track of self-confidence and self-worth? While researchers can presently only guess, many believe that writing down thoughts and feelings lends a person organization and understanding – two important aspects of regaining control over your life.
Are you in search of a Seattle divorce attorney to assist you with the divorce process? Contact the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny today at 425.460.0550 to learn more about our Washington State family law services and to schedule a free initial consultation.

Study: Borrowing Some Eastern Philosophies Could Lower Divorce Rate

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

As researchers continue to examine what causes divorce in the United States and how we can reduce the overall divorce rate, some are turning to Eastern cultures to study what makes marriages work in different parts of the world.
Kim Halford, a researcher studying Chinese marriages, relationships, and divorce, discovered that the Asian country has a surprisingly low divorce rate in comparison with similar countries. To learn more, she studied a number of Chinese and mixed-race couples in her own area to better understand their philosophies regarding marriage and long-term relationships.
Halford found that while Western couples tended to focus on emotional attachment, romance, and affection, Chinese couples were more likely to view their marriage as a partnership or team with goals to accomplish. While Westerners believed that marriage should be a combination of physical love and mental contentment, Chinese couples were more likely to see marriage as a commitment that would involve hard work and occasional rough times.
The researchers who conducted the study stressed that neither view of marriage was right or wrong – and that there were positive and negative aspects to each approach. However, there is a lot to learn from the information gathered during the study, and couples can benefit from learning about both cultures and philosophies.
Do you need legal assistance with your Washington State divorce? Contact the Bellevue divorce attorneys at the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny at 425.460.0550 to speak with an experienced lawyer today.

Could Divorce Be as Deadly as Smoking?

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

There have been a number of divorce studies in recent years that examine the connection between relationships and health – all with a variety of findings and theories. The newest of these studies, conducted by professors at the University of Arizona, found that there is a correlation between divorce and early death.

Researchers examined the results of 30 different studies related to divorce and longevity – covering over six million people around the world over 27 years. They found that divorced men and women raised their risk of dying young by 23 percent – about the same amount as smoking cigarettes, drinking heavily, not exercising, or being overweight.

Researchers were quick to point out, however, that divorce is not always bad for your health and that the studies don’t prove causation; that is, divorce does not necessarily raise your risk for early death. It may be that people who are divorced are also engaging in the dangerous behaviors mentioned above.

The important take-away from this study is to be aware of your health and wellbeing if you are going through a divorce. Eating right, exercising, and visiting the doctor regularly are all proven to improve both the quality and duration of your life.

Need a Seattle divorce attorney? Call Molly Kenny today to speak with a knowledgeable Washington State family lawyer about your case.

Three Ways Facebook Use Can Lead to Divorce

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

This week, a new divorce survey found that Facebook is involved in more divorces than ever. According to website Divorce Online, one out of three people cited the social networking giant as a factor in their divorce, as compared to 20 percent citing Facebook just two years ago.

What were the three most common ways in which Facebook activity led to breakups and divorce?

Spouses sending inappropriate messages to other users
Separated spouses posting inappropriate messages about their partner on their walls
Facebook friends reporting inappropriate behavior by a spouse

It is important to note that relationship experts do not believe that Facebook is actually causing divorce; rather, Facebook is simply now a very popular way of communicating with friends and loved ones – and a very popular way of sharing one’s feelings. Because so many people use the social networking site on a regular basis, it follows that the website plays a role in divorce.

What can we learn from this study? While reconnecting with old friends can be rewarding, it can also lead to inappropriate behavior. At the same time, it is important to understand that if you are separated, posting private information or posting while angry can have serious consequences even if you think your spouse can’t see what you are writing.

Do you need the assistance of a Bellevue divorce attorney? Contact the Law Offices of Molly Kenny today at 425.460.0550 to set up an appointment with an experienced, understanding family lawyer.

Four Financial Tips for Women Facing Divorce

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Andrea Travillian, founder of personal finance education company, Smart Step, Inc., provides four suggestions for women contemplating or facing divorce on her blog:

Know what is going on during the marriage
Many of our female clients have allowed their husbands to make all of the financial decisions in the marriage. As a result, they do not know anything about their financial situation as they prepare for divorce. Travillian says its important that women take the time to discuss and review investments, bills, and insurances with their husbands. If you are considering divorce and have not played a role in financial decisions, take the time to gain some knowledge about your financial situation.

Take the emotions out
Many women let their emotions get the best of them and focus solely on getting the divorce over with and moving on. They rush through the settlement process in hopes that the divorce will be final quicker. Travillian says it is important for women to remove the emotion and focus on getting a fair settlement and leaving the marriage with some financial stability.

Get a good attorney
Hiring an attorney who has experience and your financial security in mind is imperative when you are facing divorce. A bad divorce settlement is very hard to undo. Travillian suggests getting recommendations to find a competent attorney who will focus on getting you a fair settlement.

Change your lifestyle
Although it may be difficult to change up your lifestyle, especially if you have children whom you are trying to shelter, it is important to realize that you will probably not be able to maintain the same lifestyle post-divorce. Living beyond your means will only make things more difficult.

To read more about Andrea's financial suggestions, visit takeasmartstep.com.

Study: Risk of Death Higher In Divorcees

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

According to an article posted on the Huffington Post's website, A new study published in "Psychological Science" found that broken marriages can kill at the same rate as cigarette smoking.

The study, titled "Divorce and Death," found that the risk of dying is 23 percent higher among divorcees than their married counterparts.

David Sbarra and Paul Nietert, authors of the study, believe that the higher death risk among divorcees may be due to the stress of financial difficulties or continual conflict that are often associated with divorce.

"There is something uniquely difficult about remaining separated or divorced that accelerates time of death."

The study did find that outcomes vastly improve when a divorcee leaves a broken marriages and finds a new way to be happy.

If you or someone you know is facing divorce, contact The Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny to guide you through the divorce process.

Not the primary parent? 5 ways to spend more time with your kids!

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Do you feel like you don't see your children enough since your divorce was finalized? Splitting a child's time between parents is not only difficult on the child, but on parents as well. If you feel that your once-a-week visits just aren't enough, try some of these suggestions published by Lee Block, Post-Divorce Consultant and Author, to spend more time with your child while still respecting your ex's time as well:

1. Coach a sports team that your child plays on.
2. Offer to drop off and pick up your child at extracurricular activities.
3. Volunteer to be a chaperone for your child's class field trips.
4. If your ex is looking for a babysitter, offer to take the kids.
5. Take lunch to your child at school. Make sure you get the permission of your child's teacher before doing this.
6. Attend your child's performances and events.
Before following any of these suggestions, please carefully review your parenting plan and decree to make sure that you will not be violating any stipulations in either document.

Baltimore County developing questionnaire to study effects of domestic violence on children

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

A group of experts from Johns Hopkins University, the University of Minnesota, and the social services department of Baltimore County, Maryland have teamed together to develop a questionnaire to quantify the impact of domestic violence on
children.

It is estimated that between 10 and 20 percent of children nationwide are currently exposed to domestic violence.

Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, a professor at the Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing who is involved in the project, said research indicates that a child's exposure to domestic violence can cause both mental and physical health problems, including anxiety, depression, and aggressive behavior.
According to the Baltimore Sun, the goal of the questionnaire is to allow social workers to pinpoint children who are at significant risk of such mental and physical health problems, and provide them with counseling services. Additionally, it will allow social workers to identify parents in need of shelters or offender programs.

A $17,600 grant from the Maryland Governor's Office of Crime Control and Prevention is paying for the project. Officials
plan to complete the project in September.

At that time, about 40 social workers will be trained on facilitating the questionnaire to children involved in the child welfare system. Questions may include whether the child has ever been involved physically in a domestic alteracation, whether the police have ever been called to his or her home.

Young Couples Avoiding Marriage to Avoid Divorce?

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

New numbers were released this week that showed marriage is at an all-time low in the United States, with just 51 percent of Americans deciding to tie the knot. Now, a new study has examined exactly why younger couples are deciding to live together but not get married.

Here are the results of the study, which was published in Family Relations:

Two out of three couples said that they were not marrying because they feared the consequences of divorce, such as the emotional pain, the high cost, and the legal trouble.
A significant number of lower-income women responded that marriage was simply not a good deal for them: it would make it harder to leave the relationship and would lead to more domestic responsibilities.
Middle-class cohabiting couples explained that living together for a few years before marriage was a good way to solidify their relationship.
Working-class couples were more likely to see marriage as a nominal step – just a piece of paper.

Researchers hope the information will help pre-marital counselors understand the fears of divorce that many marrying couples have – and that the divorce study will help us better understand how the high divorce rates of the last generation are affecting the choices of this generation.

Do you need information about Washington State divorce law or the legal assistance of a Bellevue family law attorney? Contact Molly Kenny today.

Divorce and Longevity: A New Study Sheds Light on Divorce & Health

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

There have been dozens of studies conducted in recent years regarding the connection between divorce and early death. The results have been mixed, leading many to wonder whether there is indeed a correlation between divorce, health issues, and longevity.

Now, three researchers at the University of Arizona have compiled the data from 32 different studies about death and divorce in order to better understand the connection, cause, and effect. The studies looked at 6.5 million people in eleven countries – and over 750,000 divorces.

Overall, researchers found that divorced adults were 23 percent more likely to die at a younger age than those who remained married or single. Those who divorced before 65 had an increased risk of a shorter life expectancy than those who never married or never divorced.

However, the study also found that correlating divorce with a decreased life expectancy was highly problematic since the characteristics that lead to an earlier death may be similar to some characteristics that lead to divorce. Still, the study outlines that divorce may lead to less wealth, severed social ties, higher blood pressure, and reduced health habits – factors that could decrease longevity. The study did not look at the lifespan of those who stayed in unhappy or abusive marriages.

Are you considering divorce in Washington State and need legal counsel? Contact the Bellevue divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny and set up a free appointment today.

Divorce Trauma Could Make You More Resilient

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

It might seem like one of the hardest times of your life now, but a new study shows that facing a moderate trauma like a divorce may make you stronger, tougher, and better able to face future obstacles.

According to a study authored by University of Buffalo researcher Mark Seery, having too little trauma or too much trauma in your life can make coping with hard times extremely difficult. But for those who have faced some trauma in their life, such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, or tough financial times, the result is generally a more resilient person who is less likely to crack under the stress or pressure.

Why might this be true? The study author believes that overcoming some trauma, such as divorce trauma, could lead to:

A sense that a person can overcome adversity.
A network of loved ones and social support.
A better tool house of coping skills.
A brain with better-developed coping mechanisms.

One part of the trauma study focused on a group of people with chronic back pain. Those who had faced moderate past trauma were less likely to abuse prescription medication and have the pain affect their daily lives than those who had seen significant trauma or no trauma at all.

Are you considering a Washington State divorce and need the assistance of a Seattle divorce attorney? Contact Molly Kenny today to speak with an experienced lawyer about your case.

Study: Marriage Rates Are at an All Time Low in America

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

The majority of Americans are married, but if the recent trend continues, that won’t be true for long. Currently, just 51 percent of United States residents are married, a five percent drop from last year. The other 49 percent of Americans identify as single, cohabitating, widowed or divorced.

Why is the number of married people dropping so significantly? The reason isn’t that divorce is on the rise – on the contrary, divorce rates are also dropping to record lows. One issue is that more young people are waiting longer to get married. The average age for women is now around 26, and the average age for men is now around 28. At the same time, more couples are choosing to live together and even start families without saying, “I do.”

While it may be easy to say that marriage is simply not a strong institution these days, it is important to consider that waiting longer to choose the right partner may be a significant factor in the current low divorce rate. However, it is also important to consider that cohabitating parents who aren’t married are more likely to part ways than couples who tie the knot before starting a family.

Molly Kenny is a Bellevue family law attorney specializing in divorce, child custody, property division, mediation, and domestic violence issues. Call today to schedule a free, private consultation with a knowledgeable, experienced Washington State divorce attorney.

Top Ten Divorce Study Findings for 2011

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Why does divorce happen, what can we do to prevent divorce, and what are the long-term effects of divorce on a family? While there are certainly not clear-cut answers to any of these questions, researchers across the world have been conducting studies and analyzing data to bring us closer to understanding.

This year, a number of fascinating reports on divorce shed light on a number of issues and questions, including what kind of people are susceptible to divorce, what actions might lead to divorce, and what affects divorce has on our bodies and minds. Although some studies simply told us more about what we have already discovered, such as the parents of twins will experience stress that could hurt their marriage, other studies revealed information that is borderline baffling (the happier your childhood, the more likely you are to divorce in the future).

Here are ten discoveries about divorce that made headlines this year:

Happy children are more likely to divorce later in life.
Divorce can cause hair loss in women.
Unemployed men are more likely to ask for divorce.
Women who become sexually active early in life are more prone to divorce.
Couples using government assistance are more likely to divorce.
Many divorced women had marriage doubts on their wedding day.
More children are living apart from their fathers.
Cohabitation without marriage could harm kids in some cases.
Parents of multiples are more likely to divorce.
The public believes that there is a bias toward mothers in child custody cases.

Are you going through a Washington State divorce? If you need legal assistance with property division, child custody, or domestic violence issues, call Seattle divorce lawyer Molly Kenny today.

Think Tank Reveals Gay Divorce Statistics & Same Sex Marriage Facts

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

As same sex couples across the country are given the right to marry (or access to civil unions) in more and more states, we are also getting our first glimpses of gay divorce.

The Williams Institute, a think tank focused on gay legal rights, has released new research regarding gay marriage and gay divorce. Here are a few highlights:

Currently, the gay divorce rate is half that of heterosexual married couples – while two percent of couples in traditional marriages divorce each year, about one percent of those in same-sex marriages seek divorce.
About 20 percent of same-sex couples have entered into marriage, domestic partnerships, or civil unions.
Since gay marriage and civil unions have been legalized in several states, about 150,000 homosexual couples have married.
Two out of three married same-sex couples are lesbians.
Gay couples are more likely to marry than they are to enter into a civil union or domestic partnership.

Of course, we should note that these statistics represent couples who are getting married at the beginning of a new movement – while these couples may have been in relationships for many years, the divorce rates may be affected by the fact that they simply haven’t been married for as long as others. At the same time, divorce may be an unpopular choice after fighting for the right to marry – whether or not the relationship is working out.

Do you need the services of a Washington State divorce attorney? Call Molly Kenny today to discuss your rights, your future, and your plan.

U.S. Census Study: First Divorce Rate Linked To Education & Race

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

The National Center for Family and Marriage Research (NCFMR) at Bowling Green State University has released a new study that examines first-time divorces across different races and different levels of education. While the study is hardly the first of its kind, it is the first to use information provided by the 2010 United States Census.

The divorce study found that the women with the highest rates of divorce have some post-secondary education but do not hold college degrees. Those with the lowest rates of divorce either held college degrees or did not hold a high school diploma or GED.

When studying race and divorce, researchers found that women of Asian descent had the lowest rates of divorce, followed by Hispanic and Caucasian women. African-American women had the highest rates of divorce. The findings regarding divorce and education held true for all races that the researchers examined.

What can we learn from this new information? Researchers say that it is important to understand that the relationship between divorce, education, and race is complex – and that it is certainly not straightforward.

Are you going through a divorce in Washington State and need the assistance of a Bellevue divorce attorney? Contact the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny today to speak with a family lawyer and get your questions answered.

One Out Of Three Divorced Women Had Doubts On Wedding Day?

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

For some women, divorce is something that they never expected and could have never guessed – but for a surprising number of others, divorce is something that they had been concerned about since day one. With the recent celebrity divorce between reality television star Kim Kardashian and professional athlete Kris Humpries – whose marriage only lasted a few months past their lavish wedding day – many are talking about brides who have doubts even on their special day.

According to a recent survey, as many as one out of three divorced women say that they had doubts about who they were marrying on their wedding day. Why wouldn’t they call off the event and look for someone who was right for them? According to those interviewed, they were filled with hope that everything would work out – and they badly wanted the dream of a husband, a family, and married life. Many mentioned biological clocks and timelines – the idea that if they didn’t get married now, they wouldn’t have time to have children or accomplish goals.

Some women responded that they always knew that their relationship would likely end in divorce, but that they didn’t realize how complex and emotionally difficult a divorce would be.

Are you going through a divorce in Washington State? Enlist the help of an experienced Bellevue divorce attorney. Call Molly Kenny today to schedule a free, private appointment.

Most Child Abductions Involve Custody Disputes

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

This month, we covered the stories of two Washington State missing children cases that involved divorcing parents and a child custody dispute.

In the first case, a mother allegedly abducted her two children and ran out of state during an acrimonious divorce. She and her kids were found almost a year later, living in a Vancouver homeless shelter. Since then she has been charged with neglect and interfering with a child custody case.

In the second case, a Bellevue mother is under scrutiny after her two-year-old son disappeared after being left alone in an abandoned unlocked car for two hours. An initial investigation has not located the boy, though it has raised questions about whether or not his disappearance is connected to his parent’s recent child custody battle and divorce.

Sadly, the most common type of kidnappings and child abductions involve parents or relatives involved in child custody disputes. While Congress passed the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act, and the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act in order to curb these issues and enforce court-ordered child custody decisions, it remains all too common.

Have you been faced with a difficult Washington State child custody dispute that requires the assistance of an experienced Seattle family law attorney? Speak with child custody lawyer Molly Kenny today to ensure that you and your children are treated fairly.

Seattle Report: Spouse Abandonment & Divorce After Cancer Diagnosis

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new Washington State divorce study has found that men are significantly more likely to leave their spouse after their partner is diagnosed with a serious illness.

The study, Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in Patients with Serious Medical Illness, was authored by doctors at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and focused on relationship in which one spouse was diagnosed with either cancer or multiple sclerosis. Women were six times more likely to be abandoned by their spouse than men.

Researchers believe that the discrepancy might be related to men's historically primary role as a provider as opposed to a woman's historically primary role as a nurturer - or that the issue my simply be that men have more trouble with the emotional aspects that come with a serious health condition. They are also quick to note that even though considerably more men leave their wives at the time of an illness, the vast majority of couples weather bad diagnoses together. In addition, doctors add that the study did not ask participants about the condition of their marriage before divorce or whether other issues played a role in the decision to end the relationship.

If you are going through a difficult divorce in Washington State and need legal assistance, call Seattle divorce attorney Molly Kenny for more information.

Seattle Domestic Violence Officer Arrested for Domestic Violence

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

A member of the Seattle Police Department's Domestic Violence Unit was arrested for investigation of domestic violence this weekend while he and his girlfriend were attending an Oktoberfest event in Leavenworth, Washington.

According to the Seattle Times, two Chelan County Sheriff's deputies were working at the event on Friday when they saw an adult male dragging a woman across the gravel parking lot by her hair and clothing. The man was Ronald Lee Murray, a Seattle Police officer who has been with the force for 26 years. The woman was his 44-year-old partner.

The Chelan County Sheriff's Department stated that the couple had been arguing about beer tickets and that the woman had been drinking at the event. The man had allegedly escalated the incident by becoming physical. The man admitted to officers that his actions were wrong, and he was arrested for investigation of fourth-degree domestic violence.

The Seattle Police Department released a statement after the arrest explaining that Murray would immediately be transferred out of the Domestic Violence Unit until the criminal investigation was over and that Office of Professional Accountability (OPA) would also investigate the case regardless of whether charges were filed. In addition, Seattle Police reminded readers that it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Domestic violence is a serious issue in Seattle and Washington State. If you have been the victim of domestic abuse, contact the authorities immediately. If you need legal assistance with your Washington domestic violence case, contact a family law attorney today.

The Recession Means More Couples Are Turning to Divorce Mediation

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

We've shared several stories with you regarding the connection between divorce rates and the economy, but today we have a new piece of news about the connection between divorce mediation and the economy.

Several studies have found that divorce rates drop during recessions, like the recent economic downturn, as many couples cannot afford to separate, establish separate households, or take on new lives on single incomes. However, new information has found that more and more couples are choosing Washington State divorce mediation during hard times because mediation can cost significantly less than court proceedings.

Especially since the poor housing market and high unemployment rates drag on for the fourth year, many couples who have decided to divorce but don't think that they can afford it are turning to alternative methods of separating. Divorce mediation allows couples to talk through issues like property division, child custody, child support, and alimony with the help of a neutral mediator. This process can help speed up the divorce process while also saving couples money.

Are you looking for a divorce mediation lawyer in Washington State, or do you wish to find out more about divorce mediation options in Seattle? Don't assume that you cannot afford the legal aspects of a divorce without first talking to a family law attorney. Contact Molly Kenny today for more information.

Group Proposes New Law Requiring Yearlong Waiting Period Before Divorce

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Could we lower the national divorce rate simply by enacting a new law that delays divorce for a year? A group that is backing a new Second Chances Act believes so.

Social science professor William Doherty and retired Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears, the two people who penned the potential Second Chances Act, believe that adding more "speed bumps" to the divorce process may be key in reducing the overall number of divorces by allowing couples more time to work out their issues and improve their relationship.

Doherty explained that the waiting period would target couples that are open to reconciliation and those who have had happy, fulfilling marriages in the past. He also stated that the proposed act would not be a requirement for couples that have a history of domestic violence, abuse, or addiction.

Opponents of the law find that the one year waiting period before divorce would simply be another hoop for couples to jump through during the divorce process, and that the vast majority of couples would not decide to reconcile. At the same time, the waiting period would create a longer period of uncertainty both for the spouses and their children.

What do you think about the Second Chances Act? Leave us a thought in the comments section.

Do you need a Seattle divorce attorney to guide you through the divorce process and ensure that you are treated fairly under Washington State law? Contact Molly B. Kenny today.

Seattle Mariners Minority Owner Affected by Washington State Divorce

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

We've covered the connection between the recession and Washington State divorce several times in our blog, and this week we bring you a story that shows how both issues have affected multimillionaire and Seattle Mariners minority owner Chris Larson.

The 52-year-old Larson, who made his fortune as a programmer at Microsoft, is in the process of divorcing Julia Calhoun, who he married 24 years ago. The couple has five children and nine homes around the world, as well as 35 other parcels of property. Their divorce, which has sometimes been described as hostile, will go to court next month.

While many Seattle baseball fans had hoped that Larson would buy out majority owner Hiroshi Yamauchi and take the professional sports team in a more successful direction, the couple's divorce documents don't show that Larson has the funds to do so in such a tumultuous time in his life. The family admits that their large fortune was depleted both by the recession and their lifestyle - and the divorce will likely complicate financial matters. The couple states that they have $225 million in personal debts.

This news illustrates that couples from all backgrounds and socioeconomic classes do not go untouched by tough financial situations such as the recent recession and divorce - and that divorce is difficult whether you have one property or dozens.

Do you need assistance with your Washington State divorce? Speak with a Seattle divorce attorney today to make certain your divorce is handled efficiently and fairly.

One in Ten Divorcing Couples With Kids Consider Reconciliation

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study conducted by a relationship therapist at the University of Minnesota has found that more couples with kids would consider reconciliation - even far into the divorce process.

For his research, William Doherty worked with a County District Court Judge to question 2,500 married couples with children who were in the final stages of divorce but who had not yet finalized their divorce. He found that 25 percent of the couples believed that their marriages could still be saved if both parities tried. One in three people surveyed said that they would be willing to try and work things out with their soon-to-be ex-spouse, while one in ten couples both expressed the willingness to work their relationship out.

This divorce reconciliation study perhaps raises more new questions than it answers: are some couples passing up a chance to reconcile? Would the children of these couples benefit from another try, or would it simply lead to a longer break-up? How hard should couples have to work to stay together?

The divorce survey is especially interesting considering the large number of married couples that have been forced to delay plans of divorce due to the struggling economy and considering the historically low national divorce rate.

Are you in need of a Seattle divorce attorney for a Washington State divorce? Contact Molly Kenny today and make certain that you are treated fairly during the divorce process.

Cohabitation Could Actually Be Lowering Divorce Rates

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

There have been more than several reports recently claiming that cohabitation leads to higher rates of divorce down the road. However, new research has found the exact opposite: that couples living together before deciding to marry has likely lowered the overall divorce rates.

While studies have found that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce, this new research focuses on a different aspect of the issue: couples who live together before they marry and then make the decision to break up before they ever tie the knot. These couples – couples who test their relationship by residing together – would have likely been married in the past, but in present day never take that next step. It’s a difference that some believe has led to the overall drop in divorce rates over the past two decades.

The study found that while only one percent of people under the age of 60 were cohabitating in the 1960s, now one in six couples are living under the same roof without marrying. Also, couples are generally waiting longer and later before making the decision to officially settle down. The result? Some believe that some unstable relationships now end before couples marry.

Would you like more information on divorce in Washington State, or are you looking for a Seattle divorce attorney? Contact Molly Kenny today.

Not ready to speak with an attorney? We invite you to download our free, informative guides to divorce in Washington State.

Want a Graph of Divorce Rates? Look at a Graph of the National Economy

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Over the years, divorce researchers and experts have made several connections between marital stress, divorce rates, and the national economy. This week, a new study conducted by the National Marriage Project has once again found that the ups and downs of individual marriages - as well as the ups and downs of the national marriage rate - have a lot to do with money.

The major finding of this newest study - which surveyed almost 1,200 couples between the ages of 18 and 45 - found that a significant number of families suffered from unemployment and financial stress during the 2008 and 2009 recession, while another large number of couples admitted to delaying divorce plans until they were on more stable economic footing. Specifically, one out of three couples struggled with paying bills and finding income during the recession, while 38 percent of people experiencing serious marital problems said that they had delayed a divorce.

What can we learn from these findings? While the divorce rate fell by double-digits in both 2008 and 2009, that rate was not a true reflection of the state of marriage in the United States. The poor economy is putting strain on American marriages - and we may not see the results of that strain until the country recovers financially.

Are you considering divorce in Washington State but are unsure of the costs? Speak with a Seattle family law attorney today about your case.

Divorcing? Self-Compassion May Be Key to Moving Forward

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Seattle City Council: We Want Paid Sick Leave For Domestic Violence Victims

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Seattle City Council is expected to vote on a new city-wide ordinance that would require most companies to provide paid sick days to workers who are victims of domestic violence.

According to local news sources, Seattle will be following San Francisco and Washington, DC as the third large city in the country to make paid sick days mandatory for most businesses. Seattle believes that currently, 190,000 workers within city limits do not get paid when they are forced to take off work due to personal illness or an ill family member.

Under the new ordinance, Seattle companies with between 4 and 49 employees would be required to give their employees five paid sick days per year. Businesses with 50 to 249 employees would be required to grant seven paid sick days, while businesses with more than 250 employees would be required to provide nine paid sick days. Companies with fewer than four employees and companies less than two years old would not be required to offer paid sick days.

City officials believe that the new ordinance will have a number of benefits, from keeping sick workers in the food and service industries from spreading illness, to allowing parents to stay how and nurse sick children, to giving domestic violence victims a chance to seek care in the wake of abuse.

If you have been the victim of domestic violence in Washington State, understand that there are a number of resources in the area to assist you with all aspects of the issue. If you require legal help regarding a domestic violence incident, speak with a Mercer Island domestic violence attorney today.

Premarital Counseling: Does it Prevent Divorce?

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

According to In Touch Magazine, actress Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend, Justin Theroux, are visiting a couples' counselor to address potential relationship pitfalls before they consider a long-term commitment.

Studies show that Aniston and her beau aren't alone - a little less than half of soon-to-be-married couples in the United States participate in some form of premarital counseling or education.

Premarital counseling can consist of one session or multiple sessions with a marriage educator, therapist or religious official. The sessions allows couples to discuss their individual goals and preferences, address fears or concerns, develop a better understanding of each other and gain knowledge of effective communication skills.

"Pre-marriage courses educate couples in the skills, habits and attitudes that lead to happy, lasting marriages," Anne Coleman of ACCORD Catholic Marriage Care Service told the Belfast Telegraph.

A July 2010 study by researchers at Brigham Young University (BYU) found that premarital counseling or education does not necessarily improve relationship quality or satisfaction, but improves the communication skills necessary to navigate the hard times in a marriage that could otherwise lead to divorce.

"Most couples who seek therapy identify communication problems as their primary concern," said Elizabeth Fawcett, lead author of the BYU study. "If marriage prep classes can teach couples communication skills that will help them avoid divorce or marital distress, then these communication-based classes could be very helpful to a large number of couples."

Researchers believe that the fundamental skills learned from premarital counseling may reduce the risk of divorce by 30 percent.

Seattle Murders Increase Awareness of Same-Sex Domestic Violence

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Study: Gender Plays Role in Reaction to Partner's Infidelity

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

The discovery of a partner's infidelity brings about a variety of emotions, including jealousy, betrayal, anger and hurt. But does it affect men and women differently?

According to a study by Barry Kuhle, an evolutionary psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, reactions to the news of a partner's infidelity does indeed vary by gender.

Using observational data from 75 affair confrontations in the television show "Cheaters," student researchers analyzed partners' reactions when confronting their significant others about infidelities. Researchers found that 57 percent of men versus 29 percent of women were likely to ask questions about the sexual interactions, including, "Did you have sex with him/her?" or "Was he/she better than me in bed?" On the other hand, 71 percent of women, versus 43 percent of men, asked the cheating partner if he or she was in love with the other man or woman.

Critics say that reality TV is not a reliable basis for a study, as shows are often edited to be more dramatic or viewer-friendly. Kuhle asserts that despite concerns about the authenticity of reality TV, previous research, including the findings of a study published in the January 2010 edition of Psychological Science, supports the findings that men are more disturbed by their partner sleeping with another person, while women are more concerned with their partner forming an emotional bond with another person.

Divorce Pranks Will Not Help Your Case

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Last Monday, Dany Larivière, mayor of St-Théodore-d'Acton, Quebec, left a 20-ton boulder on his ex-wife's driveway with orange spray paint wishing her a happy birthday.

"She never had a rock big enough for her tastes," Lariviere told The Globe and Mail, "Now she has one."

While they are not usually publicized or as elaborate, divorce pranks are not uncommon, according to Family Lawyer Phil Epstein of Epstein Cole. He says he has heard of people taking hammers and screwdrivers to their spouses' cars, throwing garbage on their exes' lawns, and hiding the precious belongings of their ex-spouses.

Mediator and divorce coach Deborah Mecklinger says that betrayal and revenge are the main motivators behind divorce pranks.

Is getting revenge worth the consequences though?

In addition to potential criminal charges, pranks can often backfire. Cooperation, whenever possible, is very important to a divorce settlement. Pranks may create further strain or ruin cooperation between divorcing spouses. Additionally, family attorneys say that judges do not look fondly on pranksters and such pranks can have dire consequences in court.

Extramarital Sex and Divorce More Common Among Veterans, Study Says

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study presented at the 106th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Assocation found that more than 32 percent of veterans who have been married at some point in their lives reported having extramarital sex. This number is almost twice the rate reported by non-veterans who have been married at some point.

The study also found that among the married population of the survey, veterans were almost 10 percent more likely to have gotten divorce than their non-veteran counterparts.

Researchers looked at data from the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey. The researchers focused particularly on the 2,308 18-60-year-old respondents who were married at some point in their lives. Respondents of the 1992 survey were asked questions about military service, extramarital sex, and marital and divorce history

The study considered both men and women, but the researchers admit that their data set did not include enough female veterans to draw definitive conclusions about them as a separate group.

"The results of this study provide robust evidence that veteran status was strongly associated with an increased likelihood of extramarital sex and divorce - at least among men - and suggest that the odds of extramarital sex and divorce might also be elevated among female veterans," said Andrew London, the sociology department chair and a sociology professor at Syracuse University.

Researchers say the study has brought about new question. "We do not know from these data whether the extramarital sex occurred prior to, during, or after the conclusion of the respondent's military service, and we do not know the military service status of spouses," London said. "New, relatively large-scale data collection initiatives that follow people over time, examine different stages of life, and collect state-of-the-science measurements of military service experiences, sexual behavior, and marriage and family outcomes from husbands and wives are desperately needed."

London believes that these findings can lead to increased understanding of some of the problems faced by military and veteran families.

Study: Women Gain Weight After Marriage, Men Gain Weight After Divorce

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study finds that men and women's waistlines are affected differently by marriage and divorce.

Researchers from the sociology department at Ohio State University looked at a nationally representative sample of over 10,000 men and women from 1986 to 2008. The sample participants were between the ages of 22 and 29 at the start of the study, and between 43 and 51 at the end.

The researchers focused on weight changes during the time period after a marriage or divorce and found that women tended to gain more weight within the two-year period after a marriage. Men, on the other hand, gained more weight than women in the two-year period after divorce.

Based on previous studies, the researchers theorize that women's weight gain following marriage could be due to increased eating and reduced excercise because of the stresses of raising a family and maintaining a household. The researchers believe that more men gain weight after divorce, on the other hand, because wives often encourage husbands to eat healthier during marriage.

The researchers found that people over the age of 30 were more likely to gain weight after these life-changing events.

"As you get older, having a sudden change in your life like a marriage or a divorce is a bigger shock than it would have been when you were younger, and that can really impact your weight," said Dmitry Tumin, a doctoral student in sociology at Ohio State University.

Washington State Child Custody Statistics & Facts For 2010

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Washington State Court Research Unit has released some interesting facts and statistics regarding child custody and divorce proceedings in 2010. Here are some of the highlights:

•    18 percent of all child custody cases end in a fifty-fifty split in physical custody between the mother and father of the children.
•    Washington State children are more likely to have a parenting plan in which they spend more time in the custody of their mother.
•    88 percent of child custody cases in Washington State were decided by the parents themselves. Two percent of child custody cases were contested, while one out of ten were decided through default.
•    Six out of ten parents decide to represent themselves during a child custody trial in Washington State.
•    88 percent of Washington families experiencing divorce do not exhibit issues with domestic violence, child abuse, or substance abuse.
•    One out of ten fathers and four out of one hundred mothers had a “risk factor” or domestic violence, physical abuse, or drug addiction.
•    Almost fifty percent of parents preferred mediation as a form of child custody resolution, while just under 40 percent preferred a court setting.
•    Two-thirds of families with risk factors of abuse and violence preferred a court setting to settle child custody disputes.

Are you facing a child custody dispute in Washington State and would like to be represented by a lawyer? Contact a Mercer Island family law attorney for more information.

Websites Provide Outlet for Women to Sell "Break-Up Bling"

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

What do you do with your engagement and wedding rings after a divorce? If you're Jennifer Lopez, you auction off the $1.2 million, six carat pink diamond ring given to you by Ben Affleck. Auctioning jewelry at famous auction houses like Sotheby's is common practice for celebrities who want to rid themselves of their "break-up bling."

But for women without celebrity status, pawn shops and e-bay have been the best options for selling their jewelry...until now.

Websites like exboyfriendjewelry.com, idonowidont.com, and ex-cessories.com are popping up and providing an outlet for women to sell their jewelry after a break-up.

Exboyfriendjewelry.com was created by Megahn and Marie Perry, who wanted to sell their wedding sets, but were not comfortable selling their items to a pawn shop. The website requires that each seller pays a $1.99 listing fee and share their break-up story. The website does not charge a commission for the sale of your jewelry. Appraisals are not required on the jewelry sold on exboyfriendjewelry.com

Idonowidont.com provides sellers with free listings for their jewelry. If an item sells, the website takes 15 percent of the sale in commission. If an item does not sell, the seller is not charged anything. A gemologist appraises the jewelry at not cost to the seller to ensure that all jewelry sold is genuine.

Ex-cessories.com requires that sellers pay a $15 listing fee and a 13 percent commission is taken off of the selling price. Sellers have the option of having the website appraise and sell their jewelry for $60.00, or appraising and preparing the listing on ex-cessories.com themselves.

Washington State Study Reveals Why Some Abuse Victims Recant Statements

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study that followed the phone conversations of 17 men who had been accused of domestic violence has shed light on exactly why many victims of domestic violence drop accusations in the days and weeks after an assault. While many assumed that abusers relied on threats of violence in order to get their spouses and partners to recant their testimony, the study found that most abusers manipulate their victims with sympathy.

The study, which will appear online in the journal Social Science and Medicine, examined between a half-hour and two hours of conversations between over a dozen men and their abused partners as the men waited in jail regarding domestic abuse charges.

Researchers found that the first conversations usually involved a rehashing on the argument that took place on the night of the incident and the abused party acting confident and strong. By the third conversation, alleged domestic abusers will attempt to minimize events and downplay what had happened. Finally, abusers manipulate their partners into feeling sympathy for their plight – the poor conditions of the jail, the seriousness of the charges, and even missing their partner. Soon, the victim is agreeing to recant her story.

What can we learn from this study? Domestic abuse is much more than physical violence. Many abusers use mind games and manipulation to continue their cycle of abuse and keep their partner under their control. Those in an abusive relationship should understand these harmful patterns of violence and sympathy and try to break the cycle.

Do you need a domestic violence attorney in Washington State? Contact Molly Kenny today.

Study: Conflict Levels Hold Steady Over Decades Of Marriage

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you often fight with your spouse, you shouldn’t expect that to change, say researchers at Ohio State University. On the other hand, husbands and wives who don’t often bicker probably won’t start up as the years pass.

The study, which will appear in the next installment of the Journal of Family Issues, examined the lives of 1,000 couples in the United States for the two decades between 1980 and 2000. Overall, the data show that the 16 percent of couples that reported minimum conflict at the beginning of their marriage continued to see minimal conflict over the next twenty years, who the 60 percent of couples who reported moderate conflict at the beginning of their marriage continued to experience moderate conflict. Unfortunately for the remaining 20 percent who initially reported regular conflict continued to fight with their spouse over time.

Not surprisingly, the couples who admitted to arguing often had the highest levels of divorce, while the couples who did not often fight had the lowest levels. Those with the lowest levels of conflict in their relationships often either reported making decisions as a team or having a traditional marriage that included gender roles.

What is the takeaway lesson? If you have a volatile relationship now, chances are that it will continue along that path for the remainder of your relationship. If you are in a calm relationship, you can also expect more of the same in the future.

Are you looking for a Washington State divorce attorney? Call Molly Kenny today.

Domestic Violence Can Affect The Long-Term Mental Health Of Women

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study that has appeared in the latest issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association has found that women who have experienced some form of gender-based violence, such as sexual assault, domestic violence, or stalking, have a significantly higher risk of developing a mental health condition such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and addiction issues.

According to the study, which looked at data from Australian women between the ages of 16 and 85, found that 27 percent of all women had experienced some form of gender-based violence in their lives. Fifty-seven percent of those who had been exposed to this type of violence also suffered from a mental health disorder, while only 28 percent of those without a violent past reported mental illness. Domestic violence had an especially strong link to mental illness.

Researchers are still not sure whether this link means that gender-based violence and abuse triggers mental illness or whether having a mental illness makes you more susceptible to abuse. However, they noted that often gender-based violence occurred early in life, while mental illness issues followed. The study controlled factors like socioeconomic standing and those with a family history of mental illness.

If you have been a victim of domestic violence or other gender-based abuse like stalking or assault, and if you are suffering from conditions such as anxiety and depression, know that there are a number of resources that can help you in Seattle and across Washington State.

By The Numbers: Childless Couples Are More Likely To Divorce

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

The numbers are in: according to a new study, 66 percent of divorced couples are childless, while about 40 percent have children together. But while researchers are sure that childless couples are more likely to divorce, they disagree on the reasons why.

Some believe that couples without children have less reason to stay married – they are not staying together because of the kids or working hard to make things work out in order to keep their family together. When childless couples divorce, there are no child custody disputes, child support payments, or parenting plans – many can just divide their property and begin their new life.

Others point out that the divorce study did not ask whether couples were childless by choice – and that perhaps couples divorced because of a differing opinion on whether to have children or the inability to do so. Infertility can be extremely stressful, as can arguments about whether or not to start a family.

The bottom line? Marriage experts stress that talking about whether or not to have kids before you commit is an important step in starting with a healthy marriage. In the same way, those who are beginning fertility treatments should discuss with their partner just how far they are willing to go to start a family. In the end, more research needs to be done to determine the real effects of a childless marriage, whether the couple wants to take that step or not.

Study reveals large number of Americans remain "very in love" with their spouses

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Despite the high divorce rate, one study brings positive news to married couples who may feel like the odds are
against them.

In a recent study by professors at Stony Brook University and Harvey Mudd College, 274 individuals married for
over 10 years were randomly surveyed about their emotions towards their spouse. The researchers found that
47.8 percent of the sample were "very intensely in love" with their spouses. A little over 13 percent said they were "intenesely in love" and 26.2 percent of the sample said they were "very in love." This leaves only about 13 percent of the sample that did not report a strong love for their spouses.

The study also found that the feelings of intense love declined for couples married between 10 and 20 years, but
increased for those together 20 years or more.

The researchers also conducted a second survey of 396 married residents of New York state. These findings were
significantly different. It was found that only 33.3 percent of respondents said they were "intensely in love."
Additionally, the findings of the second study found that only 19 percent of women and 29 percent of men married 30 years or more reported that they were "intensely in love." The researchers suspect the low percentages of intense love reported in New York may reflect previous studies which suggest that the general happiness is lower in the Northeast than in other areas of the country.

Hospitality industry hops on divorce bandwagon

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Businesses around the globe have been altering their services to benefit off of high divorce rates. Cosmetic surgeons are creating plastic surgery packages geared to newly divorced women and lending companies are financing divorces and then taking a share of the settlements. The hospitality industry is now catching on.

In Amsterdam, Jim Halfens has opened a "divorce hotel," which offers a weekend package for dissolving a marriage. Halfens said that 10 couples have taken advantage of his offer so far, and he believes that interest will continue to grow.

In addition to the lodging, Halfens provides a notary public, a lawyer for each party, a psychologist, and an estate agent to ensure that the divorce goes smoothly.

The entire package costs $3,500 dollars, which includes legal fees. Halfens has geared the package towards busy professionals who want to save time.

"Our clients are mainly people who have very busy careers like doctors. We offer them a proper chance to get a fast divorce," he said.

Although he has received interest from foreigners, Halfens wants to make it clear that "foreigners cannot obtain a valid divorce [in the Netherlands]." He is hoping to expand into other countries in the near future though.

5,600 miles away, Casa Velas, an adult-only resort in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico is offering an elaborate post-divorce package. This package includes a stay for the divorcee and five friends in the newly renovated Presidential Suite, a VIP night on the town, a spa treatment, airport transportation, a shopping tour, and a ceremonial farewell party and coffin for the divorcee's old wedding ring.

The package starts at $350.00 per night, and includes taxes and gratuities.

Post-Divorce Cosmetic Surgery on the Rise

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Post-divorce surgery is becoming an increasingly popular trend in the United Kingdom and the United States. A recent survey by the Transform Cosmetic Group in Britain found that over 25% of cosmetic surgery procedures performed are on newly divorced women. Some surgeons say this number is even higher in their practices. "One third of my patients are immediate post-divorce cases," Dr. John Anastasatos, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, told stylelist.com.

A study by the National Women's Health Resource Center found that 42% of women wished to improve their physical appearance after divorce. Of those who desire to improve their appearance, 45% said they would be willing to consider plastic surgery.

The most popular surgeries women are receiving post divorce are breast augmentations, tummy tucks, liposuction, eyelid lifts, and facelifts.

Experts believe many women go under the knife to improve their self-esteem and regain their confidence after a divorce.

"The effects of plastic surgery are not only skin deep; they have a profound emotional and psychological uplifting effect. People feel reborn after," Dr. Anastasatos says. "They feel like they can have a second shot at their personal lives."

However, cosmetic surgeons are warning patients that surgery is not a cure for emotional distress. "Clients who come in who are bitter or angry about their divorce and looking to use surgery to either make their spouse jealous or to just fill in some type of emotional void, those are the ones that I think we really need to counsel carefully," Dr. Jon Turk, a New York City plastic surgeon, told Good Morning America in a recent interview.

Planning to Marry a Second Time? Etiquette Advice for the "Encore" Marriage

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

As Jessica Simpson plans for her second marriage, planned for November 2011, various opinions regarding the proper ettiquette for an "encore" marriage have come to light. An encore marriage is considered to be one in which one or both parties is getting remarried for a second or third time. Much of the advice floating around is rather obvious - don't wear a wedding dress from a prior marriage in your wedding; do not use rings or stones from a prior wedding ring in the new wedding ring; and do not get married at the same place you previously were married. Emily Post, wedding etiquette guru, lists a variety of others "dos" and "don'ts" for encore marriages:

DO tell your children from previous marriages about the upcoming nuptials before anyone else. If either the bride or the groom has children, Post says they should always be the first ones told about the upcoming wedding. Any blending of families should be done with sensitivity so that all of the children involved feel included in the encore marriage.

DO register for gifts. While gifts should not be requested or expected, the couple should still register for gifts as there will be family and friends who want to send gifts.

DO talk to the Officiant of your wedding prior to the service to ensure that both families are represented and any traditional religious text is appropriate for an encore marriage.

DO not be afraid to wear white. It is perfectly fine for the bride to wear white in her encore wedding, or another color of her choosing. The dress should reflect the bride's personality.

DON'T use the wedding as an opportunity to berate or even discuss former spouses.

DON'T wear a classic long veil in the wedding. Julie Raimondi, Editor in Chief of Brides.com, says that long veils are reserved for first weddings only. Encore brides should wear a veil with a birdcage style or a fascinator.

DON'T expect your parents to foot the bill for your second wedding. The cost of this one is on you.

Divorce Blog Sparks Free Speech Debate

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

A blog launched in 2007 by a divorced man from Pennsylvania has sparked a debate about free-speech. Anthony Morelli created ThePsychoExWife.com as a place for him to vent. The site quickly became popular with other divorced men, who added their own horror stories and opinions.

When Morelli's ex-wife recently found out, she called the site "heartbreaking," and potentially harmful to their two sons, according to Larry King of The Philadelphia Inquirer. Morelli was ordered to remove the site at a June 6 custody hearing by Bucks County Court Judge Diane Gibbons. Instead of following the judge's orders, Morelli posted a vicious string of attacks on his ex-wife over the next two days.

On June 14, Judge Gibbons called Morelli back to court and had the site shut down. Morelli has now hired a new lawyer to appeal the case in Superior Court, claiming that his free speech rights were violated. Some First Amendment legal experts agree, stating that Morelli's site is protected speech unless it threatens national security. "We have a principle in the law that you can't censor speech just because most people find it offensive," says Robert D. Richards, founding director of the Pennsylvania Center for the First Ammendment at Pennsylvania State University.

Others, including Meg Groff, a family law attorney in Doylestown, supports the ruling and states that it is "extremely damaing to children to have access to that kind of denigration of a parent. Ususally in custody orders it is not permitted."

According to developmental psychologist Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., badmouthing an ex-spouse, known as Parent Alientation Syndrome (PAS) is one of the most damaging aspects of divore on children. It can lead to children feeling as though they must choose between the two parents, which can lead to emotional pain, guilt and strained relationships. Dr. Baker explains that being exposed to PAS represents a form of emotional abuse, and can have several long-term effects, including depression, low self-esteem, and problems with developing healthy relationships.

In my mind, the dispute over Morelli's free speech rights overshadows the larger underlying issue of the negative affects badmouthing ex-spouses can have on children. "It's certainly okay to feel and express resentment and anger toward your ex-partner for as long as it takes you to grieve," says Paul Courteau, Ph.D., a counselor in Montana. "So, express it! - but not around your kids." [or where your kids can access it, in this case].

Mr. Mom vs. Ms. Mom...Who Wins?

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

What use to be standard in family courts across the country - the mother getting primary or sole custody of the children - is becoming a thing of the past. There are about 2.2 million mothers who do not have primary custody of their children.

In a growing trend across the country, one in every four wives earn a larger income than their husbands. The recession of the last several years has greatly changed the landscape of working families. By mid-2009, men had lost 74% of the 6.4 million joibs that have disappeared since the start of the recession. As a result, there has been a large influx of women who have full-time jobs and fathers who are taking on the role as the stay-at-home parent.

A "dark side" of women's increasing professional accomplishments is that these same women are getting a raw deal in custody cases, as their husbands argue that their successful careers are so demanding that they neglect the kids. The "tender years doctrine," the prior court presumption that mothers are more suitable parents for children under 7, was abolished in most states in 1994. As a result, it is not uncommon for fathers seeking sole custody in contested custody cases to prevail at least 50 percent of the time. Gender no longer dictates who changes a diaper or takes the children to the doctor. Rather, dads are playing more of a caregive role, which is translating to them getting joint, and even sole custody, in growing numbers. Women are having to prove their "nurturing abilities," which were once automatically assumed, simply by virute of their secondary role as breadwinners.

This brings up questions about fairness. Has the pendulum simply swung in the fathers' favor the way it used to favor the mother? Many mothers would dispute the fairness of these custody disputes. Working women still face the pressure to function in the traditional mother role before work, after work, and on weekends. Many working moms are working all day outside the home, after getting up hours earlier to make breakfast, pack lunches, and do laundry. At the end of day, these same moms are helping with homework, giving children baths, and putting their children to bed, but often all of this parenting is done out of "view" of those who weigh in on who should have primary custody. As a result, many women contemplating divorce are forced to make the impossible choice of keeping their careers to pay the bills, or spending more time with their chidlren to ensure that they can get custody. At a minimum, these women are faced with rethinking their priorities and making sure they are spending visible, document time with their kids to survive the battle of who shall end up as "Mom" at the end of the day.

When A Spouse Become Seriously Ill, Men Are More Likely To Seek Divorce

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

“In sickness and in health” is a mainstay of the traditional marriage vow – but some couples find that when a serious illness strikes, so do financial problems, stress, and family issues. Sometimes, when one spouse needs care and support the most, the other spouse is driven away by the overwhelming feelings and responsibilities that come with illness and serious medical conditions.

A group of researchers recently published a new study in the most recent issue of Cancer that explored just how often serious sickness can lead to divorce. They found that women who are diagnosed with a serious disease like cancer are six times more likely to divorce or separate after the diagnosis than a married man who becomes sick. In fact, the divorce rate for sick women was 21 percent for women, while the divorce rate for sick men was three percent. The control group had a divorce rate of 12 percent.

Why are men more likely to leave during a sickness than women? Some speculate that men are simply less adept at the caregiver role and balk at the idea of losing a partner and instead having to nurse. Others say that men are more likely to be bothered by financial stresses or the possibility of having to stop working to care for their family. Finally, some believe that a lack of emotional support and fear of abandonment have an effect on more men than women.

Is Divorce Contagious? Not Everyone Thinks So.

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Research done by three professors from the Harvard University, Brown University, and the University of California, San Diego, has found that the chance of a person getting divorced raises considerably when someone in their close social circle gets a divorce.

"Think of this 'idea' of getting divorced, this 'option' of getting divorced like a virus, because it spreads more or less the same way," James Fowler, one of the professors facilitating the study, told "Good Morning America".

The study looked at data from several generations of people in Framingham, Massachusetts, starting in the 1970s. Research from the study found that being close friends with someone increases a person's odds of a divorce by 75%. Additionally, people with divorced friends in their large social circles are 147% more likely to get divorce than people whose friends are still married. The study also found that having a sibling who gets divorced makes a person 22% more likely to get a divorce.

But this reserach has stirred up quite a bit of controversy among professionals. "I think this statement insults the integrity of every person who finds themselves facing this incredibly difficult choice," says therapist Susan Pease Gadoua. "I am not ready to conclude that most of us are that impressionable when it comes to the dissolution of a marriage and family."

Others believe that it is not divorce that is contagious, but something else. "I don't think very many couples take divorce lightly. When they see their friends divorce, they don't just shrug and decide to of the same thing themselves. Maybe what's contagious isn't just divorce, but reflection and contemplation. Maybe even courage," says Bella DePaulo, a professor from the University of California, Santa Barbara.

Despite the controversy, one thing remains clear: choosing to get a divorce is a serious, life-changing decision, and it is important to do the soul-searching and get the education needed to make the best choice for you, no matter what your peers are doing. If you are considering divorce, check out these articles on good and bad reasons for getting a divorce:
* 5 Good Reasons for Getting a Divorce
* 3 Bad Reasons to Choose Divorce

Divorce And The Only Child

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

We all understand that divorce is tough on children – they often have to see their parents upset, travel between their parents’ homes, and grapple with larger issues regarding love and family. However, some researchers are now studying whether or not only children have a harder time handling divorce than kids with siblings.

How can siblings help each other during a divorce? In many cases, having brothers and sisters means having someone to relate to, someone to talk to, and someone to lend consistency to their lives. In other cases, it means having an alternate parental figure in an older sibling.

When an only child navigates divorce, they can often feel more lost and lonelier than kids who can identify with and observe siblings. In addition, studies have found that only children are often much closer to both of their parents – and seeing their parents split can be all the more painful if the only child feel excluded from literally all of his immediate family members.

What can the parents of an only child do to help them process their divorce in a healthy manner? Family and relationship experts say that knowing about the issue is a great first step. Realize that your child is feeling very left out, confused, and lonely – and that he or she may not have someone close to speak to. In addition, provide your child with the most information, support, and stability as possible during the divorce process.

Stay-At-Home Dads More Likely To Divorce?

Sat, 23 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Stay-at-home dads are increasingly common in the United States, especially as families explore different gender roles or attempt to navigate the difficult job market. But while some are finding bliss by taking care of the home while their spouse works, a new study shows a less positive general trend: stay-at-home dads are more likely to file for divorce and more likely to get asked for a divorce.

According to a new study published in the most recent issue of the American Journal of Sociology and conducted by Ohio State University, significantly more marriages end in divorce when the father of the family is at home at the kids instead of bringing in pay. On the other hand, whether or not women stayed at home or acted as caregiver did not change the rate of divorce.

Critics of the study, however, point out two major flaws in the research. First, the study includes data from as far back as the 80s, when stay-at-home dads were not as accepted or understood by society. Secondly, the study did not take into account whether dads were at home with the kids voluntarily or whether they chose their lifestyle – a key point. Perhaps, critics say, divorce is more likely when dad is unemployed and forced to take on a role he doesn’t necessarily want.

New Study: There Are Benefits To Having Stepparents

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

We’ve all read the slew of studies that warns that divorce can harm children – and there is no doubt that the divorce process can be hard on kids, especially at certain ages. However, a new study conducted by the Pew Research Center has found that while divorce can be a difficult time, stepparents and stepfamilies can enrich a child’s life and even lead to happier relationships and successful marriages for kids in the future.

The study, which surveyed almost 2,700 adults who grew up with stepfamilies, found that many children who grow up with a stepparent are positively affected by being exposed to a healthy, working relationship after experiencing divorce. In fact, the study found that 70 percent of adults with stepfamilies were happy with their family lives and that 60 percent reported that their own marriages were more successful than that of their divorced biological parents. While just over 40 percent of those with stepfamilies admit that they feel a stronger bond with their biological family members, the majority say that their lives have been enhanced by step-relatives.

While this study brings great news to those who have remarried or are considering a second marriage after a divorce, it is still important to remember that children can be extremely sensitive during the blending of families and that creating a working blended family takes time, patience, love, and hard work.

Binge Drinking Once Again Linked To Domestic Violence

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Yet another study has confirmed what other researchers have found in the past: binge drinking significantly increases domestic violence incidents. This newest study, however, has also found that binge drinking is often an issue for both abusers and domestic abuse victims – and that women are slightly more likely than men to be aggressive toward their partner after drinking five or more alcoholic beverages.

The study, which included almost 2,000 adults of all ages living in New Zealand, found that those who binge drank at least once a month were twice as likely to act aggressively toward a spouse and were three times as likely to be a victim of abuse. Across the board, relationships in which one or both partners drank increase the incidents of violence, the severity of the incidents, and feelings of fear.

Researchers say that the link between drunkenness and abuse makes sense: drinking may not only make you more violent, but can also make it difficult for the drinker to correctly interpret the behavior of others. All in all, domestic abuse counselors say that roughly one out of two domestic violence incidents involves substance abuse issues.

How can we use this information? Researchers stress that drinking is no excuse for domestic violence -- violence is a choice. However, they also say that curbing substance abuse and addiction issues will be key in lowering domestic violence rates.

Celebrating Your Separation - Divorce Ceremonies are on the Rise

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Ceremonies to celebrate the union of two people have been a tradition for thousands of years. But celebrating divorce? As unusual as it sounds, an increasing number of couples in Japan are ending their marriage with a ceremony.

Hiroki Terai, a divorce planner in Japan, held his 79th divorce ceremony last week. At each ceremony, he tells the couple to smash their wedding rings with a hammer. A buffet meal is included and family and friends are encouraged to attend. A CNN report from September 7, 2010 quotes Terai as saying: "There's no mistaking that divorce is a sad process, but I believe that by declaring your new start in life in front of your friends, relatives and family, you draw a clear line. It helps emotionally."

The trend seems to be catching on in the United States as well. ABC News reported on a divorce ceremony that took place in Southern California in June. The ceremony included returning their wedding rings and reading separation statements.

Not everyone thinks celebratory divorce rituals are positive though. Conservative family advocate Maggie Gallagher believes that divorce is not something to be celebrated because of the suffering it can cause, particularly to children. She was quoted in the June ABC News report as saying "I'd rather put my energy into helping more marriages succeed than trying to remake divorce into a kinder, gentler institution."

Will divorce ceremonies become a common ritual? Despite the controversy, it seems very possible.

Study: School Bullies Are More Likely To Abuse Future Spouses

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study recently published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine has linked school bullies and future spousal abuse. While the study does not explain the significant connection, researchers say that the new findings will be useful in better understanding domestic violence and the cycle of abuse.

The study was conducted by Jay Silverman, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Public Health. Silverman collected data from 1,500 men in the area, ages 18 to 35, of whom 16 percent reported abusing their partner either physically or sexually within the past year. While 12 percent of the men who had not abused their spouses reported that they had been a bully while in school, 38 percent of the men who had harmed their spouses reported bullying their peers in the past.

The study was careful to take other risk factors of domestic abuse out of the equation, such as growing up with domestic violence. In fact, the study found that exhibiting bullying behavior as a child was more strongly linked with becoming an abuser than growing up as a victim of abuse or witnessing family violence.

While the study does not explain causation, the correlation of the two factors warrants further research, Silverman said, and could help provide new strategies for reducing family violence in the future.

Is Unemployment Contributing to Divorce? For Men, That Seems To Be The Case

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study conducted by Liana Sayer of Ohio State University found that a man's unemployment increases his chances of initiating divorce.

After reviewing data of over 3,600 couples from the U.S. National Survey of Families and Households, the study
found that when a man is out of work, he is more likely to choose to end his marriage. The research found that even men who are relatively happy in their marriage are more likely to leave if they are unemployed.

Surprisingly, a woman's employment status was found to have no relation to whether or not her husband will initiate divorce. Additionally, it was found that an employed woman is more likely to initiate a divorce than an unemployed woman, but only when she is highly unsatisfied with her marriage.

Researchers believe the results of the study are related to gender roles in marriage. "These effects probably emanate from the greater change in women's than men's roles," the researchers write. "Women's employment has increased and is accepted, men's nonemployment is unacceptable to many, and there is a cultural ambivalence and lack of institutional support for men taking on 'feminized' roles such as household work and emotional support."

Renton Woman Shoots Federal Way Man With Domestic Violence History

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Washington State man was allegedly shot and seriously wounded by a woman during a domestic violence incident last week. Renton Police say that the couple had a long history of domestic violence calls and charges and that at the time of the shooting there was a protection order between the two people that forbade them from seeing each other.

The shooting occurred Wednesday evening, when Renton Police were called to the 20-year-old woman’s home on Northeast 12th Street. There, they found a 28-year-old Federal Way man with apparent gunshot wounds. He was rushed to Seattle’s Harborview Medical Center for treatment, though his current condition is not known.

According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the Renton woman has been arrested for domestic violence felony investigation of assault. Police ask anyone with information about this case to call the department immediately.

This case is, sadly, another example of how protection orders can be helpful, but cannot be relied upon to keep you completely safe from your abuser. Domestic violence can escalate after a relationship ends and even after a court order to stay far away from your ex-spouse or partner. For more information on how to protect yourself after exiting an abusive relationship, please see our list of Washington State and Seattle domestic violence resources.

Could Long Commutes Cause More Divorces?

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

You’ve probably heard that money issues can cause divorce – as can infidelity, broken trust, or even twins. But a new study out of Sweden has found that one factor that could significantly increase your risk of divorce is your commute to work. In fact, the study found that a commute to work that is longer than 45 minutes can increase the likelihood of a divorce by a shocking 40 percent.

The study focused on data from 2 million Swedish families between 1995 and 2000, 11 percent of which had commutes to work that were 45 minutes or longer – and researchers warn that the study contained mostly information for male commuters with a wife and small children.

Why would a long commute lead to divorce? Researchers believe that a longer commute means less family time – and less time for one parent to spend helping with childcare and household responsibilities. This could lead to resentment from the spouse who is likely home with the children during the week. Generally, having one spouse engage in a long commute and the other stay home may reinforce gender roles both at home and in the workplace. In addition, commuting itself can be stressful, expensive, and time-consuming – three issues that could make the commuting spouse irritable and strapped for time when he finally walks in the door at the end of the day.

Seattle Divorcee Says Facebook Ruined His Marriage

Tue, 31 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Seattle man recently shared his story of divorce with KVAL.com – and unfortunately, it’s a story that is becoming more and more common across Washington State. The man, who was married for 20 years and has one child, says that the social networking site Facebook was reason that his relationship ended.

The man said that his wife began using the popular website to the point of addiction – and then befriended an ex-boyfriend from college. Soon, she was on the site for hours out of the day and would close her laptop when he approached. She also changed her passwords and started to text her old flame. The couple tried counseling, but the man soon hired a divorce attorney and ended his marriage.

It appears to be a national trend. The newest numbers has found that over 80 percent of divorce lawyers have used Facebook activity and messages in divorce cases -- and more and more spouses are discovering affairs from activity on the internet and on mobile phones.

How can you help prevent Facebook from affecting your marriage?

•    Share passwords with your spouse.
•    Don’t “friend” old flames or send private messages to exes.
•    Keep your Facebook status as “married” or “in a relationship.”
•    Make sure you aren’t spending too much time on the social networking site.
•    Realize that your apparent need to reach out to someone in an intimate manner on Facebook may be a sign that you may need to work on your own relationship or seek counseling.

Homeless Federal Way Man Poses As Washington Child Custody Attorney

Sun, 29 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A man living out of his car in Federal Way has been charged with two counts of first-degree theft and two counts of unlawful practice of law after allegedly pretending to be a child custody attorney on the internet.

According to Komo News, 55-year-old Arnold Newman Junior, who has also gone by the alias Michael Leonard, has been charged with several felonies after two people claimed that Newman solicited thousands of dollars from them after promising them help regarding their Washington State child custody disputes.

An investigation by the Washington State Bar Association revealed that Newman was running an internet site called Parents Against Parental Alienation (PAPA) and that he told potential customers that he and a team of experts could assist them in child custody cases. However, he did nothing to help his clients and instead told them in emails and over the phone to ignore court dates. The Bar Association has now issued a cease and desist order regarding the website, which is currently still soliciting business.

Newman was just recently release from King County Jail on a civil contempt of court charge.

When choosing a child custody lawyer in Washington State, it is extremely important to make certain that the person representing you is an actual attorney – and one with a history of successfully helping Seattle parents navigate their child custody disputes. Always research your child custody attorney and never send money to an “attorney” after only receiving advice over the phone or email.

University Of Washington: Evangelical Christian Divorces Are Up

Sat, 28 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study out of the University of Washington has found that Evangelical Christians have a divorce rate of 43 percent – significantly higher than the national average.

Many are questioning whether the high divorce rate in this highly religious group damages their credibility when it comes to talking about morality, gay marriage, and other related issues. Others are simply wondering why the divorce rate is so high and what they can do to curb the numbers.

The Bible that Evangelical Christians live by is adamantly against divorce, but Evangelicals are facing the same relationship issues that non-religious people face: the stress of raising families, money problems, infidelity, and even simply fading love or drifting apart. Many Christians are finding that although they theoretically don’t believe that divorce is right, it could be right (or even necessary) in their own private lives.

Those outside the church wonder if the Evangelical Christian divorce rate takes the punch of the same group’s adamant stance against gay marriage – and whether the group should focus on stopping others from marrying instead of focusing on strengthening their own marital ties. Others are urging their fellow Evangelical Christians to be more open about marital problems and relationship struggles.

Right now, church officials are struggling to find an answer to this issue. They hope that encouraging marriage counseling and pre-marital counseling will help – at the same time, many unhappy couples are looking to the church for help with their relationship struggles.

Child Custody And Cancer: Mom Loses Kids Over Breast Cancer

Fri, 27 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many people are talking about a recent national news story regarding Alaina Giordano, a mother of two who is battling against Stage 4 breast cancer. This week, a judge decided that Giordano’s two children, ages five and eleven, should move over 1,000 miles to live with their father. The child custody case has many wondering how judges decide what is truly in the best interest of the child.

In the case, the judge explained that the children needed the stable home and good schools that the employed father, Kane Snyder, has set up in Chicago. On the other hand, the courts said, living with a sick and unemployed mother may not be the healthiest choice for the kids. Giordano could have joint custody of the children if she moved to Chicago, but says that she can’t leave the family and support that she has now.

Those familiar with the divorce and child custody case say that the decision is more complicated than just the fact that the mother has breast cancer – the divorce involved domestic violence and the judge had some concerns about the life the children would have with the mother apart from her health issues.

This child custody case is an extreme but good example of how complicated child custody disputes can be and of how different one case can be from another. If you are involved in a child custody dispute and require an attorney, contact Molly Kenny today for more information.

Seattle Study: Marriage Quality Drops After A Child Is Born

Fri, 27 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, a non-profit organization that strives to strengthen marriages and families, two-thirds of couples report a lower quality of their relationship in the months and years after the birth of a baby. It can be depressing news for many new parents and those considering parenthood – but researchers say that the information can help these groups fight off potential anger, depression, and resentment after bringing home baby.

Why can new kids often cause trouble in relationships and marital satisfaction? It really comes down to the fact that it is a big change, and that it can be difficult to weather such a change with your partner. There is a loss of sleep, a change in responsibilities, and less alone time for couples. At the same time, old arguments, such as fights about money or household chores, can intensify under stressful circumstances.

What should couples do in order to avoid post-baby relationship stress? Experts say that pre-kid counseling sessions will help, as well as parents simply understanding that they will be entering a very new and challenging phase of their lives. In addition, parents can make a list before the baby comes outlining responsibilities and voicing their fears about the coming changes in their lives.

King County Divorce Rate Up Over 8% In Two Years

Sat, 30 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

The King County Department of Judicial Administration has released its latest numbers on the Seattle divorce rate: in the last two years, the number of people filing for divorce in King County has risen by 8.15 percent. In 2008, at the height of the economic recession, there were 7,194 divorce filings, while in 2010, there were 7,781 divorce filings.

What is the likely reason for this significant rise in ended marriages? It is probably not, as it might appear, that more people are unhappy in their relationships; it is more likely that more people can simply afford divorce than could in 2008. During a recession, couples are often not able to afford separate dwellings, divorce fees, and the other costs of ending a marriage. After a recession, the divorce rate often rises briefly as couples who have been waiting to divorce finally have the financial ability to file for divorce an move on with their lives.

Seattle Violent Crime Rates Drop, But Domestic Assaults Are Up

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Do you want the good news first or the bad news? According to the Seattle Police, major crimes in Seattle are down this year, with homicide rates at a low not seen since 1956. However, while the rates of murders, rapes, and robberies were down nine percent from last year, the number of domestic violence assaults went up significantly. It is not clear whether this increase is due to an increase of reports or due to an actual increase in domestic assaults.

“Why that is we don’t know. We are working on it with our domestic violence unit,” Assistant Seattle Police Chief Jim Pugel told KIRO TV.

Seattle Police Chief John Diaz said that the department was focusing on stopping crime, reducing the amount of public fear, and building stronger communities throughout the city.

Domestic violence makes up a large percentage of violent crimes in any area – it is a misconception that the majority of violent crimes takes place between strangers.

Seattle Police Department Loses Lawsuit Regarding Domestic Violence Advice

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Seattle Police Department has settled a lawsuit with the Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers for $32,000. The lawsuit involved a public disclosure issues regarding domestic violence legal advice in which police were accused of withholding information about how they handle domestic violence cases with Washington domestic violence defense lawyers.

The major piece of evidence in the case was a Seattle Police Department policy manual that told victims' advocates not to record certain facts that could aid defendants, such as whether the domestic violence victim was intoxicated, whether the victim refused services, or whether the victim minimized the situation. According to the defense lawyers who found the document, the police were asking others to bury relevant evidence.

The Seattle Police Department stated that the settlement was not an admission of guilt, but rather a means to end the legal dispute. However, the police stated that they will be rewriting sections of the policy manual.

Domestic Violence Cured?

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

In the aftermath of Chris Brown's tirade at the Good Morning America studios following his interview with Robin Roberts, the question arises, can domestic violence batterers ever be cured of their anger, control, and violence? Chris Brown viciously beat up his girlfriend, pop sensation Rihanna, two years ago after a Grammy party. He was sentenced to five years probation, anger management, domestic violence classes and over a thousand hours of labor-based community service. Brown's music career took a significant hit and the interview with Roberts marked the release of his new CD. So one would assume that Brown would want to show how he had "changed" and moved away from his bad behavior. Yet, in a recent interview prior to the GMA incident Brown stated that: "I just let off, like steam in the back... I just had to release the anger that I had inside me." So even after anger management, domestic violence classes and over a thousand hours of labor, Brown's mode of "letting off steam" is to scream, rip his clothes, and throw a chair at a window, smashing it to pieces. It appears he may not be "cured." Indeed, the statistics show that at least 30% of the offenders, particularly the most at risk for lethal violence, are not amenable to treatment. Chris Brown may fall in this group - only time and potential future victims will tell.

Study: Marital Satisfaction Over Time Doesn't Predict Divorce

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

For years, researchers have been trying to determine the best predictors for successful marriage and for divorce. However, a new study, which followed 100 couples over a 15-year time period has found that one seemingly obvious predictor of divorce, marital dissatisfaction, does not have as clear a relationship to divorce as previously assumed.

In fact, the study found that the level of satisfaction at the beginning of a marriage in no way gave researchers clues as to whether the marriage would last or not. In the same way, the couple’s level of satisfaction in the years leading up to divorce was also a poor predictor of whether or not a marriage would be successful.

What could this study possibly conclude? Researchers are saying that the idea of marital satisfaction is far more complex than they had previously thought, and that since satisfaction changes so much throughout a marriage, it is difficult to link any change in satisfaction levels to the end of a marriage.

Washington State Mediation Legal Library: New Information

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

In March, we added four new articles on the topic of mediation to our family law library. These articles, which cover topics such as mediation and child custody and the role of the divorce mediator, are written to be clear, concise, and informative – and to answer all of your most pressing questions about the process of Seattle divorce mediation.

Read the four new articles now to learn more about how divorce mediation works:

•    Using Mediation To Decide Child Custody
•    Talking To Your Spouse About Divorce Mediation
•    The Role Of The Divorce Mediator
•    The Role Of The Divorce Mediation Lawyer

In addition, feel free to browse our complete library of Washington State Divorce Mediation Articles as well as our divorce mediation frequently asked questions (FAQ) index. Still have questions? Contact Molly Kenny today to find out what you need to know about divorce mediation and your own family law legal needs.

Oak Harbor Teen Charged With Assaulting & Raping Girlfriend

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

An 18-year-old member of the Navy from Seattle is facing domestic abuse charges after he allegedly raped and beat his girlfriend. According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Michael Akerele of Oak Harbor was charged with domestic violence, domestic violence assault, and domestic violence unlawful imprisonment. He plead not guilty in an Island County Superior Courtroom.

He could face up to 17 months in prison if found guilty.

His 23-year-old girlfriend says that her partner became violent after he read her email account and Facebook account. He struck her, bit her, hit her with a broom, choked her, and threatened to drown her in a bathtub. At one point during the two-day incident, the woman agreed to have sex with him so that the beatings would stop.

When he was questioned by police, Akerele told authorities that he had been attacked by his girlfriend and had accidently struck her while trying to protect himself.

Clark County Tea Party Candidate Acquitted Of Domestic Violence Charges

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Clark County Jury has acquitted 31-year-old Daniel Hedrick of fourth degree assault domestic violence charges in Washington State this week. The man, a Camas politician, was accused of punching his wife Megan in the head during a domestic dispute in October. While the jury heard evidence that Megan was also physically violent, the jury did not agree with the defense that the man was acting in self-defense.

Hedrick is a member of the Tea Party who ran for a seat in the House in the 3rd Congressional District of Washington State. He lost in the primary to Republican Jaime Herrera Beutler and Democrat Denny Heck, who were vying for the open seat left by Brian Baird. No one in the jury had heard of Hedrick and were therefore not acting in line with political affiliations. After the verdict, Hedrick said that he would like to continue his political career.

The jury deliberated for a half-hour regarding the Washington State domestic violence case.

British Government Encourages Divorcing Couples To Try Mediation

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Great Britain is trying to save everyone time and money by requiring most divorcing couples to try divorce mediation before battling it out in court. The government believes that it can take emotional strain off of couples and financial strain off of the court system by having splitting couples experience a “mediation awareness session” before taking their situation before a judge.

The new rules will officially go into effect this spring, though lawmakers note that marriages that involve domestic abuse and sexual abuse will be excluded from the requirement. In fact, all couples can insist on a court date – though officials hope that most will see the advantages of choosing mediation.

According to statistics, mediation takes an average of 110 days in England, as compared with 435 for traditional court divorces. At the same time, mediation costs an average of just over 500 pounds, while a divorce costs an average of almost 3,000 pounds in Great Britain.

With The Recession Ending, Divorce Rates Are Creeping Up

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Although hard economic times come with higher rates of domestic violence, more stressed marriages, and more desertion without divorce, they also oddly come with very low divorce rates. The reason? Many couples simply can’t afford to get divorced and start new lives and many couples are just struggling to survive financially instead of focusing on their relationship.

Since the recession began in 2008, divorce rates across the country and in Washington State dropped – and continued dropping over the next two years. Now, however, the first reports of the divorce rate creeping up could be a sign that the recession is finally coming to an end. Some attorneys in the Northwest have reported that their divorce caseload has increased by 15 percent in the past few months.

While the news of higher divorce rates is never heartening, in this case it does come with a positive angle: more couples are financially able to move on with their lives and end unhealthy relationships, and fewer people will be trapped in bad marriages because of money problems.

Could "Divorce Tourism" And Mediation Vacations Catch On?

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

There’s a new trend in India, and it’s designed to save marriages. Starting in 2009, Vijesh Thakkar began offering couples a “divorce tourism” package that combines a relaxing week at a resort with the help of a marriage counselor. Thakkar hopes that this combination of a romantic vacation and a helpful mediator could help couples better consider their thoughts of divorce and work on their relationships.

Couples that agree to the trips – which one can guess are expensive – find that putting aside an entire week to focus on their spouse is enlightening, while having a counselor with you throughout your trip is more helpful than weekly or monthly one-hour sessions at home. While some couples are able to rekindle feelings and gain awareness, other couples discover that divorce might be the right choice for their situation.

Will divorce tourism catch on in the United States? We will have to wait and see.

Financial Infidelity Can Lead To Divorce

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

We all understand that romantic infidelity can quickly lead to divorce, but can financial infidelity end a marriage? According to a new study conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, lying to your spouse about spending habits, credit card bills, or recent purchases can ruin a relationship.

Researchers found that a staggering 58 percent of husbands and wives hide cash from their spouses, while 54 hid major purchases. Thirty percent hide bills, while fifteen percent hide major purchases and even entire bank accounts.

Altogether, the study found that financial infidelity is the reason that 16 percent of marriages end in divorce, and that 68 percent of marriages are affected by financial infidelity in some way. Why? Just like all other forms of infidelity, financial infidelity can lead to problems with trust, deception, and openness.

Seattle 911 Call Sheds Light On Domestic Abuse's Affect On Children

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

A call to Seattle Police from an 8-year-old boy has many Washington State residents thinking about the long-term affects of domestic violence – both for the direct victims and for the children who witness abuse.

“My mom’s boyfriend is tackling here, and she’s pregnant,” the boy told the 911 operator. “He’s trying to hurt her badly. Hurry.”

In this case, authorities rushed to the scene and got both the boy and his mother to safety before arresting the abuser for assault. Still, domestic abuse experts say that even though children might be saved from abusive situations, the affects of seeing and experiencing abuse can last a lifetime. In fact, boys who see abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves when they enter into relationships, and girls who observe abuse are also more likely to either be abused or abusers.

If you need assistance because of a domestic abuse or family violence situation, take advantage of Seattle’s many resources for domestic abuse victims, such as the 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 827-8840.

Can Divorce Couples Deduct Legal Fees During Tax Season?

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

As tax time rolls around again, many divorcing couples wonder whether or not any of the expenses related to their divorce can be deducted as April 15 approaches. Unfortunately, the answer is almost always a resounding no. The IRS does not allow tax deductions related to divorce legal actions, divorce counseling, or divorce personal advice, and Supreme Court has upheld those deduction restrictions in the past.

However, there are a few small exceptions. If you have expenses related to tax advice or property transfer advice that you needed in connection with your divorce or legal separation, those costs are tax-deductible. In addition, legal fees paid related to collecting alimony can also be deducted. However, anything that you deduct must not total more than two percent of the filer’s adjusted gross income (AGI).

If you Seattle divorce lawyer’s services include tax information and counseling, be sure to ask for an itemized bill so that tax deductions are possible.

Beacon Hill Man Pleads Guilty To Murdering Girlfriend, Infant

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

This week 31-year-old Daniel Hicks entered a guilty plea in a King County courtroom regarding the murder of his girlfriend Jennifer Morgan and their 13-month-old daughter, Emma. He faces a sentence of life in prison without parole for two counts of aggravated first-degree murder.

The domestic violence double murder, which took place just days before Christmas, occurred when Hicks shot his partner and baby 21 times, reloading multiple times. Friends and relatives told authorities that he had threatened Morgan in the past, and that he had become increasingly jealous, paranoid, and violent after the birth of his child. After killing his family, he considered suicide then watched football on television before driving to California.

In a short note to his brother, the man referenced their grandfather, who committed a murder-suicide.

King County Prosecutors will not seek the death penalty because of the man’s history of mental health struggles.

Gamer Couple Fights Over Virtual Assets In Divorce

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

When considering divorce, most people will worry about the fate of their assets: from who gets the house to who gets the boat to who gets the retirement account. However, for one divorcing couple in China, the court battle revolved around the virtual assets that accumulated online during their relationship.

According to TIME Magazine, a couple in Beiking who played online games for fun during their marriage faced a unique fight during their divorce proceedings: who gets the virtual property that they both helped collect? In the increasingly popular world of online gaming, these virtual assets can have real value. Virtual assets, from fake money to fake resources, can be sold to other gamers.

In this case, the judge sided with the husband, whose name was on the accounts and who had the accounts before the relationship began. The wife? As far as video game points, she will be left with “virtually” nothing.

Freeland Man Dies In Police Chase After Beating Girlfriend

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

According to the Island County Sheriff’s Office, a Langley man died in a one-vehicle car accident while fleeing police following a domestic violence incident. The South Whidbey Record reports that 42-year-old Richard Guinn was spotted by police speeding through a stop sign in Freeland at around three in the morning on Saturday. When police tried to pull him over, he led authorities on a five-mile chase that ended in a fatal crash. Guinn lost control of his car when rounding a curve and struck a large tree, killing the driver instantly.

Further investigation into the car accident incident revealed that Guinn was the primary suspect in a domestic violence incident that took place earlier that evening. Following an assault, Guinn’s girlfriend was being treated for serious injuries at Whidbey General Hospital at the time of Guinn’s car chase and subsequent accident. Police believe that alcohol was involved in the car accident and that Guinn was driving while intoxicated.

Buyer Beware When Divorced Couples Sell Their Home

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Each year in the United States, hundreds of thousands of homes are put on the market because the homeowners are divorcing. While divorcees can be extremely motivated sellers, and while homes being sold by divorcing spouses are often sold below market value, real estate experts warn that buying a home from a divorcing couple can be complicated and even hazardous.

What can go wrong when buying a home from a divorcing couple? In some cases, the sellers may disagree on whether they should sell the home at all – and one spouse may be aggressively trying to ruin the deal. In other cases, the sellers may disagree on price, timeline, or other vital decisions that cause expensive delays. In still other cases, a couple may choose not to sell or even get back together.

What should you do if you are considering purchasing a home from a divorcing couple? Financial experts say to get as much information as possible regarding whether or not the divorce is amicable – and make certain that both the husband and wife have signed the selling agreement before moving forward.

Study: Divorced Men Fitter, Divorced Women Less Fit

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study has found that while the majority of middle-aged men improve their fitness levels in the wake of a divorce, middle-aged divorced women are often less fit than married women of the same age.

The divorce study, which was published in this month’s volume of the American Journal of Epidemiology, followed 9,000 men and women over the age of 45 over eight years. During the study, participants were tested on a treadmill over regular intervals and asked about their relationship status. The results found that while divorced men increased their fitness levels significantly, divorced women became less fit.

Researchers believe that single men have more time for exercise and have more reason to stay fit because of their single status. Single women may concentrate on other aspects of their appearance that are unrelated to fitness, such as weight. Others believe that men may be more likely to work off the negative feelings of an ended marriage through exercise, while women may be less likely to focus on fitness when depressed.

New Year, Time For A Divorce?

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

According to divorce attorneys and relationship experts, this month will show a significant increase in divorce filings – and for a number of different reasons.

First, many divorce lawyers note that the holidays can be a tough time for those who aren’t in a happy marriage: Thanksgiving through Christmas means financial stress, more time with your spouse, family obligations, and time away from your job. In addition, the New Year means that many families will file their taxes and perhaps receive a refund: money that can be used for the divorce. Also, with an improving economy and better job market, many people across the country will finally be confident enough to forge out on their own in the wake of the recession.

Relationship experts add that January is also a popular month for ending relationships because it’s the beginning of the year: a time for resolutions and fresh starts. In some cases, those who are unhappily married will simply decide that they do not want to spend another year in an unrewarding relationship.

Seattle Ax Murderer Had Domestic Violence Past

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Earlier this month, a man walked up to a person on Capital Hill and struck him in the head with an ax, killing him. Now police say that the suspect had been arrested three times in the last year for domestic abuse and domestic violence incidents.

Seattle Police say that 26-year-old Michael LaRosa walked up to a man in front of several witnesses and killed him with a hatchet. Now his ex-girlfriend, who lives in Florida, says that she had a restraining order against LaRosa and had been a victim of his violence in the past. She also said that LaRosa suffered from a number of mental illnesses during their relationship and stalked and threatened her after being devastated by their breakup.

During their time together, LaRoasa struck her several times, was verbally abusive, and destroyed her property. A court ordered the man to attend drug and alcohol counseling and to take his mental health medications.

Could Your First Name Make Your More Susceptible For Divorce?

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Does your first name have anything to do with whether your marriage will be a success or whether your union will end in divorce? A study in the United Kingdom has found that the most common two names on divorce papers in England are Mark and Susan.

The research, which was based on thousands of recent divorce filings across the country, also found that David, Michael, Caroline and Nicola were written on divorce papers more than any other name. In addition, some names were rarely associated with divorce, such as men called Theo, Roy and Liam and women named Penelope, Shannon and Sofia.

Mark Keenan, the man who commissioned the study linking first names and divorce, said, "I was a little horrified to see that my first name was top of the most common names in our client list. I will definitely be keeping this information from my wife."

It Is National Child Custody Awareness Week

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

This week, November 29 through December 5, is National Child Custody Awareness week. During the week, family law experts hope that parents and children work together to approach child custody in a healthy, holistic way. Instead of approaching child custody from one angle, custody experts urge families to realize that there are many important facets of a successful joint parenting plan, including legal considerations, financial considerations, strong communication, and emotional wellness. In addition, they stress the importance of a support network for both the children going through their parents’ breakup and the parents themselves.

Especially around the holidays, it is important to reflect on child custody, how it has affected your family, and what you can do to make certain your kids are happy, healthy, and have a strong relationship with both of their parents if possible.

To read more about child custody in Washington State, browse our child custody legal library.

Pew Research Center Marriage Poll: Quick Results

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

This month, Pew Research Center released the results of their latest survey on marriage, divorce, and family life. The results showed a few continuing trends regarding Americans’ thoughts on marriage, relationships, and family: many have a more accepting view of what constitutes a family, many are raising children without being married, and many believe that marriage is outdated. Here are some more facts from the study:

•    39 percent of those surveyed believe that marriage is obsolete.
•    29 percent of Americans under 18 are living in a household without married parents.
•    62 percent of people believe that the most ideal marriage has two working parents who split childcare responsibilities.
•    60 percent of Americans consider a same-sex couple with children to be a family.
•    44 percent of people said that they had lived with their partner before marriage.
•    57 percent of those aged 30 to 49 had lived with their partner before marriage.
•    One-third of respondents said that the growing number of untraditional families was a good thing, one-third said that the growing number of untraditional families was a bad thing, and one-third said that it didn’t make a difference.

Former Seattle Sonic Brent Barry And Wife Erin File For Divorce

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

A former Seattle SuperSonics player and Washington State resident Brent Barry will divorce his wife, Erin Barry. Their divorce comes after allegations that Erin Barry, who is known for her extensive charity work in Seattle as well as her good looks, had extra-marital relations with another professional basketball player, Tony Parker. Park has filed for a divorce with his wife, actress and sex symbol Eva Longoria.

During his time on the Seattle Sonics, Barry made 669 three-point baskets and scored over 4,000 points. According to the gossip magazines, it is unclear if Erin Barry and Tony Parker had an ongoing affair or if they were just engaged in emotional cheating. Longoria says that the pair sent hundreds of text messages to each other of a sexual nature. It is unclear if Erin Barry and Tony Parker will start or continue a romantic relationship after their respective divorces are finalized.

Washington Police Respond To Two Domestic Violence Disturbances

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

Washington State Police dealt with two noteworthy domestic violence cases this week.

Early in the week, a Washington SWAT team was called in after a Seattle woman told police that her partner had beaten her up and then barricaded himself inside the dwelling along with a weapon. Using pepper spray, authorities were able to apprehend and arrest the man, who was taken to King County Jail. The woman suffered minor injuries during the assault.

In a second domestic violence incident in Washington, Yakima police separated a couple that was engaged in a domestic dispute on November 5, 2010. When the police placed the woman in a police cruiser, she allegedly took a lighter from her pocket and set her shirt on fire. The woman was taken to a Seattle medical center for smoke inhalation treatment and the vehicle suffered significant damage. Police say that although they patted the woman down for weapons during the domestic abuse call, they allowed her to keep the lighter.

Seattle Man Charged With Four Domestic Violence Crimes

Sat, 27 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

After threatening his ex-girlfriend with a gun, dragging her into his apartment, and beating her, a Seattle man is facing four different domestic violence charges in Washington State.

According to Seattle Police, 25-year-old Fausto Vega-Filio, also known as Esteban Steven Garcia, confronted 28-year-old woman that he used to date outside of his apartment on October 27. The woman refused to speak with him until he showed her a handgun and then dragged her through the front window of his apartment. He beat her, pulled her hair, and threatened to kill her after saying that she was dating someone new. A neighbor who heard the disturbance called police.

Police arrested Vega-Filio running away from his apartment and found the gun hidden in a nearby tree. The man is being charged with kidnapping, assault, harassment, and interfering with domestic violence. He is awaiting trial at a King County jail.

Child Custody And Visitation Can Be Toughest During The Holidays

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

Finding a parenting plan and child visitation schedule that works for both you and your ex-spouse can be extremely difficult – and deciding how to coordinate visitation around the holidays can seem impossible. Many parents cannot stand to think that their children will be away from them on family holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving.

While there are a number of ways to divide the holidays fairly, many families decide to alternate holidays and alternate years. For example, one year you may have your child for Thanksgiving and not Christmas, while you may have your child for spring break and not summer vacation the following year.

Whatever child visitation solution you and your ex decide upon, it is important that you focus on your child or children and their holiday experience instead of feelings of guilt, loneliness, or anger. Remember that this arrangement is new for your child as well, and try to make sure that your children do not feel overwhelmed, guilty, or scattered. When you are spending a holiday with your child, focus on having a relaxing, meaningful, and fun time. When you are without your child, try to spend time with friends and family and focus on the other relationships, values, and traditions that are important to your life during this time of year.

Some King County Funds Restored To Help Domestic Violence Victims

Thu, 18 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

Just weeks after King County officials threatened to cut all funding for domestic violence victims from their general budget, the councilmembers now say they will restore some human services funding and make cuts elsewhere. The current cuts now include 28 deputy jobs, 16 prosecutor jobs, and all services for the poor and needy.

This year, King County faced a $60 million deficit and had to make some very tough choices in order to keep the County financially afloat. While one proposal wanted to allocate another $100,000 to domestic violence prevention programs, the council decided in the end to keep their funding at the 2009 level as opposed to the higher 2007 level.

The funds that will go towards supporting the much-needed domestic violence and sexual assault victims programs were raised by County employees who gave up their cost of living adjustments, or COLAs, for this year. All County employees except for King County Sheriff deputies agreed to give up their COLAs in order to help King County’s financial problems.

The King County councilmembers voted on this budget this week.

Geoff Simpson Settles Domestic Violence Charge Out Of Court

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

Washington State Representative Geoff Simpson, who recently lost his battle for reelection against Republican Mark Hargrove by 13 points, has settled his domestic abuse charge out of court just days after the election took place.

According to the Seattle City Attorney’s Office and the Seattle Times, Simpson will have all charges dismissed in two years if he follows the rules of his probation, which includes not breaking the law, not possessing weapons, and not coming into contact with his ex-wife. In addition, he will be asked to participate in counseling regarding domestic violence and abuse. Under the agreement, Simpson does not have to admit guilt.

The domestic violence incident occurred last year, when both Simpson and his ex-wife Kathy Simpson were visiting their daughter at a Seattle hospital following a procedure. Allegedly, Simpson pushed his wife out of the way to enter the room.

Dating After Divorce: Kids, Careers, And Finances Can Complicate Romance

Sat, 30 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Is dating after a divorce different from dating the first time out? According to relationship experts, there are a number of big differences when you return to the dating world after your marriage has ended.

One of the largest differences, experts say, is that you should ask the big questions earlier – questions regarding kids, religion, finances, career, and marriage. In many cases, a person who has recently gone through a divorce has a better idea of what they want out of life and of what they will and will not sacrifice in their future. Make sure the person you are dating knows early on what these things are.

Another large difference about dating after a divorce could be the complication of kids in the picture – both for you and the person you are dating. While you don’t want to introduce your date to your kids too early, you also need to get an idea of what your potential mate thinks about welcoming and caring for your family if things were to get serious.

The 15 Occupations With The Highest Divorce Rate

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Does your job say something about your chances of going through a divorce? Recently, researchers have found that some occupations come with higher rates of divorce than others – and the answers might surprise you. The study, published in the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology, found that the 15 jobs with the highest rates of divorce are as follows, in ascending order:

1. Maids and housekeepers, and cleaners
2. Roofers
3. Waiters
4. Telemarketers
5. Baggage porters and concierges
6. Entertainers, performers, and athletes
7. Nursing, psychiatric, and home health aides
8. Telephone operators
9. Factory workers: food and tobacco
10. Gaming service worker
11. Extruding machine operator
12. Gaming cage worker
13. Massage therapists
14. Bartenders
15. Dancers and choreographers

Jobs that come with the lowest divorce rates include engineers and law enforcement officers. Of course, the research does not show whether certain jobs are more likely to cause divorce or whether those drawn to certain occupations are more likely to divorce.

Seattle Seahawks Player Hill Returns To Field After Domestic Violence Suspension

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle Seahawks linebacker Leroy Hill has completed his one-game suspension in the NFL and will return to playing professional football this week. Hill faced discipline from his employer this fall after a marijuana charge this summer followed by a domestic violence charge against his significant other in April outside of Seattle.

Hill is now on 18 months of probation and has taken a $4 million pay cut regarding his contract with the Seattle Seahawks. He will also enter into a 26-week Washington State-certified domestic violence treatment program and complete 25 hours of community service.

The domestic violence incident occurred in Issaquah, when police responded to a call from Hill’s live-in girlfriend. The call resulted in a misdemeanor charge of fourth degree assault and domestic violence on August 19.

The domestic abuse charges he faces also led to a restructure of his NFL contract with Seattle – he will only make about $2 million in base pay this year and will become a free agent at the end of the season.

Seattle Rocker Nancy Wilson And Cameron Crowe File For Divorce

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Nancy Wilson, half of the Seattle rock duo Heart, has filed for divorce from long-time husband and film director Cameron Crowe. Wilson, who said that her separation began in the summer of 2008, filed for divorce in Los Angeles last month citing irreconcilable differences as the cause.

Wilson, who sang hit singles “These Dreams,” “Crazy on You,” and “Stranded,” in the Seattle-based rock band Heart with her sister Anne in the 1970s, had been married to Crowe for 22 years. The couple has twin 10-year-old boys, William and Curtis.

Wilson is seeking joint physical and legal custody of her two boys in the Hollywood divorce. She is also seeking spousal support from her husband, who has directed a number of films including Jerry Maguire, Say Anything, and Almost Famous. Finally, she will restore her maiden name.

The couple met when Crowe was a writer and editor at Rolling Stone magazine.

Washington Lawmakers Condemn Japan's Child Custody Laws In Resolution

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Japan’s child custody laws are once again creating international tension as the United States works to return several children to their parents after kidnappings and abductions from America. Most recently in Washington, the House passed a resolution, 416-1, that condemned Japan’s ongoing inaction regarding the retention of these children. In addition, the resolution called for Japan to allow the American parents of children being held in Japan to visit with their kids overseas.

Japan has infamously biased child custody laws – laws that benefit both the mother of the child and the Japanese parent of children who are the result of international marriages and divorces. Japan has still not joined a 1980 international convention that outlined child abduction guidelines and international child custody actions.

Japan is a priceless international ally of the United States, but this issue continues to cause strain between the two countries. The United States has asked Japan to act urgently to their requests.

Man Shot By Seattle Police Had History of Domestic Violence

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle Police say that the man they shot in a grocery store out of self-defense earlier this month had a history of domestic violence with both his wife and his mother.

After a struggle with police in a Wedgwood, Washington, supermarket, 43-year-old Ariel Rosenfeld pulled a gun from his waistband and threatened the officers. He was shot once in the stomach by the police and died shortly after.

Rosenfeld had been accused of choking his 71-year-old mother unconscious the night before – and had a history of violence against women in the past. In fact, both his mother and his wife had filed protection orders against the man in the past year. His wife said that her husband was mentally ill and needed aid. She also said that he had physically assaulted her, abused his mother’s dog, stalked her, and punched a five foot hole in the wall after she locked herself in the bathroom.

Chances Of Cheating Increase When Women Make More Than Their Partners

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

For decades, we have been trying to discover, “what makes spouses cheat?” Now, a new study might shed some light into why infidelity happens to some couples more often than others. Researchers at Cornell University have found that the rate of cheating goes up significantly if the woman in the couple makes more than the man – and goes down if the woman makes less than the man.

The study, which followed 9,000 young people over the course of six years, found that when women made significantly more than the man, the man could suffer feelings of powerlessness and gender identity confusion that leads them to cheat. At the same time, women who make more than their partner probably travel more, meet more people, and are more assertive. The study also found that any relationship in which one party makes much more than the other has higher instances of infidelity and higher instances of divorce.

Study: Siblings Can Grow Closer When Divorce Ends Parental Conflicts

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

A number of studies have examined how divorce affects relationships between parents and children, but less research has gone into how divorce can change the relationship between siblings. Now, one clinical psychologist is studying how brother and sister relationships can be altered when their parents end their marriage.

In some cases, initial research has shown, one sibling will deal with the divorce better than another and help the other sibling through the tough family time. In these instances, sibling relationships can grow and strengthen while the relationship between their parents comes to an end.

In other cases, however, one sibling may take their negative feelings out on another sibling through teasing and other abuse. In still other cases, one sibling may hide how they are feeling and isolate themselves from everyone, including their brothers and sisters.

The study also found that while siblings can grow closer during divorce, siblings who spend years in families with high-conflict marriages are often not as close with each other when they become adults.

Candidate For 31st District Washington Senate Seat Has Domestic Violence History

Wed, 15 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

One of the four candidates for the 31st District state Senate seat in Washington State is critical of the work that incumbent Pam Roach has done in her time in state government, including a long record of discipline problems while on the job. However, senate hopeful Matt Richardson has had several brushes with the law in the past regarding domestic disputes and domestic violence.

Richardson, who is a Sumner City schoolteacher, had four encounters with Sumner City Police in the last ten years, all classified as domestic disputes. Richardson said that all of the incidents – none of which resulted in charges – had to do with a child custody dispute and did not involve physical violence. However, police say that the events involved shoving, striking, and threatening his ex-wife and daughter. One of the incidents involved Richardson giving his teen daughter a black eye, though he said it was a "a parental discipline slap that was not well aimed".

In addition to the above incidents, Richardson has also been found guilty of a misdemeanor sex crime when he was a teen.

"Divorce Ceremonies" Help Some Unload Emotional Baggage

Fri, 10 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

As divorces become more and more common in Japan, many are struggling with what their new lives will be like and what their marriages meant. Even after the legal aspects of a divorce, such as the division of property and child custody, are settled, some find it hard to find closure.

Now, some are turning to divorce ceremonies to help mend the emotional side of their divorce and to let friends and family better understand that their union is over. These divorce ceremonies are solemn events that include a walk down the street with family and friends, breaking the wedding bands with a hammer, and a dinner in which the ex-spouses sit at separate tables as a symbol of their new independent lives.

While we have no idea of the concept of divorce ceremonies will ever hit the United States, it seems that the small events are gaining popularity in Japan because of the closure and ritual that they provide.

Beacon Hill Woman With Domestic Violence History Shoots Husband, Herself

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

A murder-suicide took place on Beacon Hill in Seattle on Tuesday afternoon, August 3, when Washington State Police say that a woman shot her husband twice in the head and back and then later shot herself.

The domestic violence murder took place just before three in the afternoon on South Hines Street. The woman shot the man, knelt beside him, and then drove away. When Seattle Police later found the woman, she shot herself while in her car. The man and woman, who were both 30 years old, had a history of domestic violence, separations, and divorce filings. The woman had a history of arrests and felonies, including a 2007 conviction for unlawfully carrying a firearm. Court records show that the could filed for the divorce most recently earlier this year.

Of the eight murders to take place in Seattle this year, six have been connected with domestic violence.

Getting "Back Out There" Takes Time After A Divorce

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

It can be difficult to re-enter the dating scene and meeting new people after a divorce, especially if you have been married for many years, says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. The dating world has probably changed a lot since you were a part of it, and the end of a long-term relationship can leave you feeling overwhelmed or even jaded about meeting new people.

Schwartz recommends that singles in their 40s and 50s should think about going on a vacation specially organized for older singles – or that you check for singles groups in your area. Even though you might not be familiar with online dating services, creating a profile can help you test the waters and see how you feel about getting out there again.

First though, Schwartz says that you should be sure you are completely emotionally ready to move on before you re-enter the dating scene. Emotional issues like anger, guilt, or self-esteem problems could hinder your chances of making a real connection with someone new, while being emotionally ready to let someone new into your life can lead to a whole new chapter.

Study: A Bad Marriage Can Make Your Arthritis Worse?

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

While a good marriage can improve your health and happiness, a number of studies have also found that a stressful marriage can hurt your physical health. Now, a small study of 124 participants has found that not only stress, but also feelings of social rejection, can create an inflammatory response that leads to increased arthritis pain. When participants in the study were faced with social rejection, the rejection centers of their brains lit up – and the more rejection participants felt, the more they suffered from increased inflammation.

The researchers associated with the study say that emotionally damaging relationships and social rejection could not only harm those who suffer from arthritis, but could also have bad effects on those who suffer from other types of inflammation problems. However the researchers also reminded readers that their findings correlate emotional rejection and inflammation, but don’t prove causation.

Study: Domestic Violence Increases Abortion Rate For Abused Women

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

A shocking new report has found that one out of seven women seeking abortions at clinics have been the victim of domestic violence at some point during the last year. The study, “Prevalence of Intimate Partner Violence Among an Abortion Clinic Population,” was published in the American Journal of Public Health and followed almost 1,000 patients over the course of a year.

Ten percent of women seeking abortions reported physical violence in the last year, while 2.5 percent reported sexual violence. Over eight percent reported battering from their intimate partner. These rates are significantly higher than the rates of the general population. Knowing this information, experts say, can be used both to help women who are being physically or sexually abused by their partner and to ultimately prevent unwanted pregnancies. For example, women’s health clinics could engage in targeted screening for domestic violence in order to better help abused women.

Mediation Expert: Controlling The Impulse To Fight Can Save Heartache & Money

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

Here’s something to think about: when you choose litigation instead of mediation for your divorce, you are putting extremely important decisions about your family and future finances into the hands of a judge – a judge who might not fully understand your situation. While mediation can be a struggle – and while working with your spouse can be very difficult – it also offers you and your partner a unique chance to come to the best solution for your family. In addition, mediation allows you to bypass some aspects of court divorces that many believe are unfair, such as the perceived bias against fathers.

Divorce mediation might not be right for everyone in Washington State, but for many, it is a faster and less expensive option that gives you and your former partner the opportunity to divide your property and decide on child custody in a private but still controlled manner.

Women Divorcing After 50 – A New Trend?

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

With high-profile divorces like the one announced between Tipper Gore and Al Gore, many are wondering about the recent rise in women divorcing after age 50. What could be causing this leap in women-initiated divorces in the golden years?

Many researchers say that women may now be seeking divorce after their children leave the home and because they become more financially independent as they age. In addition, women are living longer and choosing to start on a new path later in life. One relationship specialist, Teri Orbuch, says that it may simply be that Americans have changing expectations of marriage – some may see a 40-year marriage as successful and understand that relationships do not last for someone’s entire life. A new poll of single women over 50 resulted in some data that might support this idea: 76 percent said that they would not marry again if given the choice.

Divorce Mediation Won't Work Without Full Disclosure

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

This month, we focused on common reasons that divorce medication might not be ideal for some couples. Among the reasons are substance abuse problems, very complex finances, and, a history of domestic violence or abuse. A reason that we haven’t yet mentioned is the willingness of both parties to disclose information.

In traditional court divorces, full disclosure does not necessarily take place. In divorce mediation, both parties agree to share information openly and honestly throughout the process – especially when discussing assets and income. If one or both people involved in the mediation process do not want to fully disclose information, going to court may save frustration, time, and money. If both parties are willing to speak openly about their opinions, feelings, and personal information, divorce mediation will almost certainly be the less expensive, more private, and quicker opinion.

To learn more about divorce mediation in Washington State, visit our mediation page.

July: A Focus On Washington State Divorce Mediation

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

This month we have added three new legal articles to our Washington State divorce mediation library – all geared toward helping our readers better understand what the mediation process is like and whether it might be a good choice for their situation. While mediation can be an ideal choice for those who can communicate openly, those who wish to keep their divorce more private, or those who wish to avoid future court dates, mediation might not be the right choice for couples who have dealt with substance abuse issues, domestic violence incidents, or very complex financial issues.

Please read some of our newest articles and frequently asked questions regarding WA divorce mediation:

•    Is mediation only for couples going through an amicable divorce?
•    Can mediation make my divorce less expensive?
•    Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?
•    Four reasons why divorce mediation might not be right for you
•    The three major steps of the divorce mediation process
•    Divorce mediation could be easier on your children

West Seattle's Swinery Changes Hands As Owner Divorces

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle’s only sustainable butcher shop, the Swinery, has faced difficulties in the past and is now being handed over to investor James Dillon as the business’ founder, Gabriel Claycamp struggles with financial issues that have been complicated by a current divorce.

The meat shop, which carries cured meats, deli items, cheese, and dry goods, has had a contentious and troubled history despite its popularity in the area, and Claycamp has said that he has only received about $4,200 from the venture as the new small business struggled against growing expenses and monthly costs. Now, as he and his wife divorce, Claycamp told reporters that he cannot continue to try growing the business while also going through the process of ending his marriage. His main goal now, he said, is to find a new job working under someone else and having a regular paycheck so that he can care for his children.

Washington State Representative Geoff Simpson Charged With Domestic Assault

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

Washington State Rep. Geoff Simpson has been charged with domestic violence assault after allegedly shoving his ex-wife. Simpson, who is from Covington, was visiting his daughter in the hospital after a surgery when a witness saw the politician shove his wife into the room and shut the door. According to the social worker who saw the incident and called Seattle Police, the woman tried to bar Simpson from entering and he shoved her into the room before saying a few words to his daughter and then leaving.

Simpson is denying the charges, saying that they are false and that his ex-wife is lying because of a divorce settlement issue. The democrat is to appear in court on July 26.

Simpson was arrested after a domestic violence incident with his wife in 2008, but charges were later dropped. Simpson also insists that those domestic violence charges were “false and outrageous.”

US Official In Talks With Japan Regarding International Child Custody Issues

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

Many countries around the world agree that Japan’s child custody laws often unfairly treat foreign ex-spouses and sometimes lead to child abductions to the island country. However, Japan has been hesitant to speak out regarding their strange international child custody actions, including a recent case involving an American father who has lost contact with his two children after his ex-wife moved to Japan following the divorce.

In Japan, usually only one parent gets custody of the children in the wake of a divorce, and many agree that the system is somewhat biased against fathers.

This week, however, the top US diplomat for East Asia Kurt Campbell met with top Japanese officials in order to voice the United State’s concern with Japan’s policies. Japan is the only first world country that did not sign the 1980 Hague Convention that outlines appropriate international child custody actions. Justice Minister Keiko Chiba agreed that the subject was an important one to discuss.

Study: Divorce Can Be Contagious?

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

Just a week after Al and Tipper Gore announced their divorce, their 38-year-old daughter also announced that she was ending her marriage. But when friends or relatives file for divorce around the same time, it is coincidence or something more?

A new study suggests that there can be a connection between divorces. After analyzing 5,000 couples around the country, researchers have found that when those around you divorce, your chances of divorce can increase. In fact, the study found that those who have a friend who is going through a divorce are 147 percent more likely to divorce as well. Those who have a sibling who is divorced is 22 percent more likely to divorce, while those who have a coworker who is divorcing are 55 percent more likely to choose to end their marriage.

What is the cause? Researchers believe it is a phenomenon of social networks in which behavior can spread through families and other groups.

75-Year-Old Ballard Man Kills Elderly Wife, Himself

Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle Police rushed to an apartment building, Ballard House, located on the 2400 block of Northwest 57th Street, after a 911 caller reported hearing a domestic dispute turn violence in a neighboring apartment. When authorities arrived at the Housing Authority high rise, they found that a 74-year-old man had beat his 75-year-old wife to death with a hammer before jumping from his sixth floor apartment. The 911 caller described a woman shouting before falling to the floor and becoming silent.

Washington firefighters kicked in the door to the couple’s apartment, where they found the woman bleeding on the floor near a window that was missing a screen. Although she was rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, she died of her injuries. Neither the man nor the women involved in the murder/suicide have been identified. Of the seven murders recorded in Seattle since January, five have been related to domestic violence.

Five Out Of Seven 2010 Seattle Homicides Have Domestic Violence Connection

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

When we think about murder in Seattle, we might think of dark alleys, gang activity, poverty, or bad neighborhoods. But the truth is that a large percentage of homicides in Washington State are not related to street violence or even drug violence – but to violence between family members and couples. In fact, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer cited a shocking fact this week: of the seven murders that have taken place within Seattle city limits in 2010, five have been related to domestic violence.

In the most recent Washington domestic violence homicide case, a 74-year-old Ballard man bludgeoned his 75-year-old wife to death after an argument. The woman died as she was being rushed to the hospital, while her husband jumped from the couple’s sixth floor apartment, still clutching a hammer. One month earlier, a North Seattle man shot his girlfriend multiple times in a motel room before taking his own life.

Older Couples Splitting: Gray Divorce Can Happen 40 Years Into Marriage

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

The announcement that Al and Tipper Gore will be divorcing after 40 years of marriage shocked those who knew the couple in Washington as well as those around the country. It also has many wondering about the instances of “gray divorce” or “silver divorce” – marriages that split after many decades of seeming success.

According to the most recent census, about four percent of divorces are between couples that have been wed for more than four decades and one in four divorces occur between couples that have been married for more than two decades. Part of the issue might be that many couples divorcing now after 40 years were married in the 1970s – a generation that has a remarkably low success rate when it comes to marriage. Others note that with life spans becoming longer and longer, it is simply more difficult to stick with a partner for multiple decades without growing apart or running into irreconcilable differences.

Police Suspect Missing Seattle Woman Was Domestic Violence Victim

Thu, 27 May 2010 08:00:00 EST

Just over one year after she disappeared, Seattle Police are once again asking for the public’s help in locating 21-year-old Nichol Cearo, a Washington State resident who police fear has been the victim of domestic violence. Cearo had experienced a relationship filled with domestic abuse with her boyfriend – a man that was with Cearo the last time she was seen and a man who authorities day may have admitted killing her last spring.

Seattle homicide detectives have been assigned to the missing persons case since September – but although they have searched Seward Park (where they believe her body may be located) and interviewed friends and family, the case has turned cold.

Cearo has not picked up her financial assistance checks since March 2009 and has not been seen since she was released from King County Jail on March 30. At that time, she left with her boyfriend. While Cearo has a history of minor brushes with the law, Seattle Police say that her boyfriend is a known felon with a long list of convictions.

Homeless Domestic Abuse Victim Now Seattle University Graduate

Wed, 26 May 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle resident Mary Guiberson has an inspiring lesson to teach Washington State domestic violence survivors: you can overcome.

In 2007, Guiberson graduated from Seattle University a master’s degree in organizational system renewal and design. In the 90s, however, she struggled with domestic violence, homelessness, and drug addiction. After she fled her abusive relationship and the drugs that were ruining her life, she spent over a year in Seattle’s Compass Center – a place where transient Washington residents can get counseling, support, and a second chance at life.

Since her graduation, Guiberson has worked at the Compass Center, the Freedom Project, a group dedicated to teaching nonviolent communication, and Thrivers Action Group, a domestic violence social awareness group. At all of her endeavors, she hopes to help abused, isolated, and forgotten women in the Seattle area – women who she can truly relate to and women she can certainly give hope to.

Study: How Divorce Can Affect The Behavior of Teens

Tue, 25 May 2010 08:00:00 EST

Does race, ethnicity, and culture have an affect on how children and teen handle the divorce of their parents? A new study says that it might.

According to Paula Fomby of the University of Colorado, who published her research in The Journal of Marriage and Family this month, teens who had to handle multiple family changes, such as divorce, moving, or economic hardship, were more likely to engage in dangerous behavior, unprotected sex, and drug use. White teens who suffered a divorce or other upsetting family change were more likely to show the affects of their changed family dynamics than African-American teens – and were even more at risk for unhealthy behavior and teen parenthood. Finally, the study found that while divorce and location chance had negative impacts on children, having to adjust to sudden economic hardship had the most profound affect on children.

While researchers can’t say why African-American teens are better able to come to terms with changes in the family dynamic, though some suggest that a larger and more supportive adult community help kids cope with difficult times.

Operation Military Family Strives To Keep Seattle Couples Together

Mon, 24 May 2010 08:00:00 EST

While most of Washington State enjoys record low divorce rates, there is one group that is in increasing amounts of stress and has ever-growing rates of divorce: military families. The stress of an absent spouse, financial problems, and, obviously, the worry that comes with a spouse in combat is a terrible strain on a relationship.

To help these families in Seattle through tough times, a Washington organization called “Operation Military Families” is working to keep military families strong even during these times of war. Divorce can become a topic on the tongue of even couples who have only been together a few years, and Operation Military Families offers these left behind spouses counseling and alternative means to deal with their understandably rough thoughts and feelings.

This week the Seattle organization is celebrating “Petal Power,” in which volunteers can send drawings of flowers to spouses who need emotional support while they are alone.

Seattle Native And Retired NFL Player Corey Dillon Arrested For Spousal Abuse

Sun, 23 May 2010 08:00:00 EST

Corey Dillon, a retired professional NFL football player and native of Washington State, has been arrested for spousal abuse this week. According to early reports, the 35-year-old athlete and his wife, Desiree, were involved in a domestic dispute at their home on Saturday night after Desiree called police for assistance. When police arrived, they observed that the woman had apparent minor injuries and was the victim of domestic violence and spousal abuse.

Reports say that Dillon and his wife were fighting over their impending divorce and child custody case at the time the domestic assault occurred.

Dillon, who early in his football career was a star player for the Washington Huskies and Franklin High School in Seattle, was arrested and then released on $50,000 bail. This is not Dillon’s only recent legal woe: last month he was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. He has yet to face either charge in court.

How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Divorce?

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 08:00:00 EST

How long does it take to recover from the emotional strain of a divorce? While the answer is obviously different for everyone, one group has conducted a study and found an average: 17 months and 26 days. The timeframe includes both getting over the emotional stress of a divorce and getting through the legal aspects of ending your marriage – including the separation of property, child custody agreements, and moving.

One out of five respondents said that they have still not and may never get over their divorce. A few more numbers: most begin to feel better 16 months after their divorce and content after 18 months. The average time before a divorcee begins dating again is 15.5 months.

While every divorce is different, and everyone is allowed their own feelings, it can be comforting to know that the vast majority of those going through divorce do reach the light at the end of the tunnel and are able to move on.

Snohomish County's "Home For Good" Shelters Victims of Spousal Abuse

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 08:00:00 EST

All too often, formally abused spouses who are recently divorced struggle with poverty, homelessness, and unemployment. At the same time, there are an untold number of Washington men and women who would divorce their abusive partners if they only had a safe place to go afterward.

Snohomish County has taken a step to help these struggling families thought their program, “Home For Good,” a special pilot program which helps those suffering financial hardship through no fault of their own, such as those who are struggling to find a home in the wake of a divorce involving abuse. The program, which involved Snohomish County Executive Aaron Reardon, Project Phoenix, and the Federal Neighborhood Stabilization Program, recently offered five three-bedroom homes in Marysville to struggling families at affordable rental prices. Eventually, the homes will turn into affordable ownership opportunities for those living in them. Each of the homes cost an average of $225,000 and were purchased with low-interest loans.

Marysville, Washington, has been hit hard by the recent recession and many formally middle-class families in the area are struggling on the edge of homelessness.

Two Washington State Boys Taken By Father Violating Restraining Order

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 08:00:00 EST

Child custody can be the most painful part of the divorce process – and this was certainly illustrated in Tacoma this week when two young boys, aged four and five, were abducted from their mother’s home by their father.

Pierce County Sheriff's Department issued an Amber alert after Reuben and Dylan Fish were taken from their Fort Lewis home by Allen Fish. Fish and his wife were allegedly divorcing and struggling with child custody rights at the time of the abduction – and some reports say that the mother of the boys had a restraining order against their father at the time that the boys were taken from their home in Joint Base Lewis McChord. Other reports say that the Allen Fish has a history of domestic violence.

The man is reported to have taken his sons to an attorney’s office across state lines, but the children have now been reunited with their mother.

Seattle-Produced Domestic Violence Documentary Plays At Seattle Center

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 08:00:00 EST

Seattle Center's McCaw Hall hosted a free showing of a documentary focused on domestic violence in Washington State – a film that was produced by a Seattle man, created by a Washington domestic abuse nonprofit organization, and features King County Senior Deputy Prosecutor Gary Ernsdorff and Washington State Attorney General Rob McKenna

Shout. The Story of Domestic Violence examines the complex issue of domestic violence in Washington State, lending the viewpoints of abuse victims, WA police, King County lawmakers, counselors, and shelter workers. The Seattle man who produced the film lost a sister to a domestic violence murder-suicide almost a decade ago and hopes the film will spread awareness.

The free screening was also made possible by the Domestic Abuse Women’s Network (DAWN), a nonprofit located in Tukwila, Washington, and Session 7 Media of Seattle. Those interested in purchasing a DVD of the domestic violence documentary may contact DAWN.

Sharing On Twitter Could Hurt Your WA Divorce Case

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 08:00:00 EST

You may have heard that social networking sites like Twitter, MySpace, and Facebook have been problems for those seeking jobs or applying to schools – but did you know that revealing too much information on the internet could be harmful to your divorce case or child custody case in Washington State?

As even middle-aged computer users are becoming social networking-savvy, divorce lawyers and child custody lawyers are looking for more evidence on the internet when it comes to court. Even one status update, “Tweet,” or uploaded picture could spell trouble. A social networking site could prove that a partner was cheating, that a partner has been using alcohol or drugs, or that a partner did not provide appropriate care for a child.
What is the main lesson for those involved in a divorce or child custody case that spend time on the internet? Check all of your privacy settings – or better yet, find a less public way to share your life with others.

Spokesman-Review: Sexual Assault Underreported

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 08:00:00 EST

Especially on college campuses, sexual assault, domestic abuse, and rape can be significantly underreported. While counseling services and other assistance programs see large numbers of women seeking help in the wake of sexual abuse, college campuses and Universities in Washington State report much lower numbers of sexual abuse and domestic violence.

While a federal law called the Clery Act requires schools to report sexual abuse cases, Melissa Tumas, director of the Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence Information Center at the University of Washington, explains that sexual assault instances are only officially reported if the women decides to press chargers or have a school hearing. While some school officials are required by law to report abuse, others, like counselors, don’t have to.

Though the University of Washington reported just three cases of sexual assault last year, Tumas says she handles 160 cases a year regarding stalking, domestic violence, and sexual assault.

Seattle Times: Are Ex-Stepchildren Still Considered Family?

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:00:00 EST

This week the Seattle Times answered an interesting question sent in by a reader: is it appropriate to continue a relationship with your stepchildren even after you have settled your Seattle divorce? While the question is not legal in scope, it does ask an important, emotional question that many going through Washington State divorces might ask.

The etiquette experts who answer the question for Seattle Times readers make a strong point: it is perfectly natural and understandable to want to continue to have a relationship with your step-kids even after your romantic relationship with their mother or father has ended. Even though the family is now separating, it was a family and you were probably an important adult in their lives for a number of years. If you want to keep contact with the children, let your wishes be heard, both by your former spouse and your Seattle divorce attorney.

Retired Seattle Policeman Charged With Killing Estranged Wife

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:00:00 EST

A woman was returning to her former home to collect belongings when her former husband shot her and then himself. The week before, the man had requested a restraining order saying requesting that his ex-wife not be allowed back to the couple’s large home in a gated community.

Police say that the retired Seattle Police officer, 59-year-old Ted Richardson, shot his estranged wife, 52-year-old Susan Richardson, and then himself. A friend of Susan’s waited outside in the driveway during the shooting and called 911 when she heard shots fired. She told authorities that a fight had broken out after Susan had entered the house to get her things.

This was the second marriage for both parties and they did not have children together though they both had children from previous marriages. The handgun used in the crime was owned by Ted and kept in the house. The couple had been separated for several months after Ted had filed for divorce.

Study: States With Same-Sex Marriage Bans Also Have Higher Divorce Rates

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 08:00:00 EST

Could Washington have a lower divorce rate because of the state’s same-sex union laws? A new study says yes. Nate Silver has analyzed years of data from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and found that over the last five years, states that have instituted a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages have a divorce rate 8 percent higher than states that do not have constitutional bans.

In addition, Massachusetts, the state with the lowest divorce rate nationally, also allows gays to legally marry, while the next three states with the lowest divorce rates do not have constitutional amendments stating that marriage is between a man and a woman.

Silver admits that the pattern shows correlation but not causation – the differences may be caused by other aspects that often separate these states, such as economy, religion, politics, and culture. However, the study is interesting in that it may take away from the argument that gay marriages somehow devalue heterosexual marriages.

Seattle Temporary Housing Options for Domestic Violence Victims

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 08:00:00 EST

Once you make the courageous decision to leave an abusive spouse or partner, it can be overwhelming. You may not know where to turn for help or where you and your children will live. The City of Seattle has programs to help survivors of domestic violence get back on their feet and put together a plan of action.

The City of Seattle has various housing options, including enriched housing, temporary hotel stays and transitional housing. Enriched housing is a short-term answer for women and children with nowhere else to go. Domestic violence advocates are available at these homes to help with creating a safety plan and securing long-term housing.

Sometimes a domestic violence victim has to get out of her house quickly, which is why hotel vouchers are offered through the city. Victims can stay up to 2 weeks in a hotel, while they determine where they will live.

Transitional housing is the solution for women who can’t locate affordable housing, but can’t return home due to safety concerns. Women and children can stay for up to two years in these homes.

You are not alone. A Seattle domestic violence lawyer from the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny can help you. Contact the law firm at (206) 381-0100 for more information.

What's the Difference Between Annulment and Divorce?

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 08:00:00 EST

When you are looking at the end of your marriage, you probably have a lot of questions. You are at the point where you know that you will not be able to reconcile, but you don’t know your best option. Many couples are confused regarding the differences between annulment and divorce. Both processes will end a marriage in Washington, but they are not the same.

An annulment is a legal procedure that dissolves a marriage. If a marriage is annulled, it means that it is nullified from its inception. An annulment applies when there is some legal defect that keeps the marriage from being valid.

Most people are already familiar with the legal process known as divorce. With a divorce, the marriage is terminated because it has been deemed “irretrievably broken.” Either spouse can pursue this legal option to end the marriage. During the divorce process, family support, child custody and the allocation of assets and liabilities will be determined.

If you have chosen to purse a divorce or annulment, you should contact a Seattle divorce lawyer at the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny at (206) 381-0100. The law firm will be able to walk you through the process and ensure that your interests are protected. The divorce attorneys at the law firm make children a priority.

For more information on this topic, read the article, Three Ways Marriages Are Ended in Washington.

Kobe Bryant & Wife Vanessa Divorce after Ten Years of Marriage

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Basketball superstar Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa will divorce after a decade of marriage. Vanessa, who met the NBA player on the set of a music video in 1999, filed for divorce at the beginning of December. She has asked for spousal support and joint custody of the couple’s two daughters, 9-year-old Natalia and 6-year-old Gianna.
The pair did not have a prenuptial agreement when they married in the spring of 2001, which means that Vanessa may be legally entitled to half of the couples’ estimated net worth of $150 million. While the divorce proceedings have not been made public, recent reports say that three of the couples’ properties in Newport Beach have been signed over to Vanessa – homes worth $11.2 million, $2.9 million, and $4.7 million. Vanessa also allegedly received $75 million.
Vanessa Bryant stood by Kobe in 2003, when the basketball star was accused of sexual assault. The charges were dropped and the civil suit was settled out of court, but Bryant admitted to having sex with his accuser.
A joint public statement from the couple read: "The Bryants have resolved all issues incident to their divorce privately with the assistance of counsel and a judgment dissolving their marital status will be entered in 2012."

Study: Parental Conflict, Not Divorce, Can Harm Children

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

It’s a common assumption that children are negatively affected by their parents’ divorce, but a new divorce study shows that parental conflict and a lack of co-parenting are the true culprits when it comes to harming a child’s mental health.
According to psychologists at the University of Basque Country, divorce in and of itself isn’t the issue when it comes to a child’s long- and short-term problems associated with parents breaking up. The real issue when it comes to kids and divorce are the presence of fighting parents, family instability, and family conflict.
The study followed over 400 families through the various stages of divorce. Throughout marital issues, separation and divorce, children were observed for signs of depression, anxiety, behavioral issues, and other common issues associated with divorce. Surprisingly, the study found that these problems only surfaced in cases where divorce was accompanied by other issues in the household, including parental conflict, changes in daily routine, and issues with co-parenting.
Of course, this leaves many asking, is it possible to go through the divorce process without exposing your family to other issues like general conflict and changes in routine? Researchers say that simply being aware of the root causes of children’s issue during divorce may change how divorcing couples approach the end of their marriage.

Bellevue Father: Child in Custody Case Could Be in Ukraine

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

New details in the Washington State missing child case involving Sky Metalwala have authorities considering that the toddler may have been taken over the border and is with relatives in Ukraine.

Julia Birakova and Solomon Metalwala, Metalwala’s parents, were locked in an acrimonious divorce and Bellevue child custody battle when Birakova reported her two-year-old son missing in November 2011. She claimed that she left the boy in an unlocked car that had run out of gas and that when she returned to the vehicle with gas hours later, the boy was gone.

Now, however, Metalwala says that the young boy hasn’t been seen since May, when a neighbor in Bellevue saw the child. A doctor saw the boy in April. The child’s father believes that his disappearance could have occurred in April, when Birakova’s father visited from their native Ukraine – and that his son might have been taken with the man. However, one conflicting report states that a neighbor saw the boy with his mother in October.

Birakova has not made any public statements about her missing son since the days after his mysterious disappearance. Metalwala has been awarded custody of the couple’s four-year-old daughter. At the time of his son’s disappearance, the man had not seen his children in over a year because of the ongoing custody battle.

Domestic Violence Charges Deferred for Seattle Police Officer

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

In a rare move, a Seattle judge has deferred the domestic violence charges of a Seattle detective who was arrested by police at a beer festival in 2011. Judge Nancy Harmon said that the man will avoid prosecution if he successfully completes an alcohol treatment program over the next two years.

According to the Seattle Times, 55-year-old Ronald Lee Murray was charged with fourth-degree domestic violence assault when he was seen dragging his 44-year-old live-in girlfriend by her hair through the parking lot of an Oktoberfest event in October 2011. The man, a detective sergeant with the Seattle Police Domestic Violence Unit, was arrested after Chelan County sheriff’s deputies observed the assault.

Murray admitted to being an alcoholic and struggling with addiction. His girlfriend has pleaded with authorities to release the man. His two years of addiction treatment will be followed by three years of court supervision. It is unclear whether he will return to the Seattle Police Department.

While deferred sentences are common with some types of cases, they are almost never heard of in instances of domestic violence. The move has led some to believe that the Seattle police detective received special treatment for a serious crime. Others add that while domestic violence can be exacerbated by addiction, alcohol use should not be blamed for a domestic violence assault.

Seattle Police Defend Actions Taken in Domestic Violence Response

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Recently, the Department of Justice issued a sobering report on the Seattle Police Department regarding the officers’ use of excessive force and the lack of consequences for using such force. However, Seattle police say that one example of excessive force highlighted in the report is actually an example of why the report is flawed. The incident involved an alleged Seattle domestic violence crime.

On New Year’s Eve 2010, Seattle Police were called to the home of a woman who said that her boyfriend trespassed on her property and attacked her. She told police that she had a no-contact order against the man, who had recently been released from jail. Although the man fled before officers arrived at the residence, he returned later that night.

When police arrived for the second time, the man had wrapped an electrical cord around her neck, assaulted her, taken off his pants, smothered her with a pillow, and knocked over the Christmas tree. He was standing over her cowering body on the couch. While what happened next is not clear, the Department of Justice believes that the man was tackled by a gang of officers and could have involved the improper use of flashlights or batons. The DOJ said that one officer should have taken the man into custody.

Vanessa Bryant To Get Three Mansions in Divorce

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

According to TMZ, Vanessa Bryant will walk away from her divorce with Kobe Bryant with all three mansions they owned in Newport Beach, California. These homes are part of the $75 million she is reported to be receiving in the divorce settlement. Additionally, Kobe has agreed to provide Vanessa with spousal support.

Divorce documents also indicate that Vanessa has requested joint custody of the couple’s daughters, Natalia and Gianna.

Papers finalizing their settlement and custody agreements are scheduled to be filed sometime this year.

UK Study: Facebook a Factor in One Out of Three Divorces

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

For the last few years, the social networking site Facebook has been cited in a growing number of breakups and divorces around the world. Now, a new study out of the United Kingdom shows that the number of divorces involving Facebook has grown significantly even over the last two years.
In 2009, the website Divorce Online conducted a study about causes of divorce that showed 20 percent of respondents believed that Facebook was a factor in ending their marriage. This December, the new survey found that 33 percent of couples blamed their breakup on the behemoth social networking site. Twitter, by comparison, was only cited by 0.4 percent of survey takers.
Why is Facebook such a new problem for those in monogamous relationships? Experts say that Facebook is simply one of the most popular ways to communicate with friends, reconnect with people from your past, and meet new people. While this could mean new social opportunities for many, it could also mean the start of an emotional affair. From there, communication could evolve into texts, emails, phone conversations, and meeting in person.
Of course, saying that Facebook is a “cause” of divorce may be taking the divorce study a step too far – because so many people use Facebook on a daily basis for social reasons, it also makes sense that Facebook would be involved in unfaithfulness.

Zooey Deschanel files for divorce from Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Following her highly publicized separation from Ben Gibbard, frontman for Death Cab for Cutie on October 31, 2011, Zooey Deschanel officially filed for divorce on December 27th in Los Angeles County, California. The cause for the split is cited "irreconcilable differences" At the time of separation, Deschanel's publicist, Lauren Auslander, told the Associated Press that the split was "amicable" and there was "no third party involved."

Deschanel is a Golden Globe nominee and the star of the hit sitcom "New Girl." The couple married near Seattle in September of 2009.

Are you ready to file for divorce? Contact the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny for a private consultation.

Divorce Trial Explores Worth of Seattle Mariners Baseball Team

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

As Seattle Mariners minority owner Chris Larson and Julia Calhoun navigate their Washington State divorce proceedings in King County Superior Court, major league baseball fans are looking on with interest as both parties argue the worth of the team and discuss the future of the stake they currently hold.

The court ordered both Calhoun and Larson provide an official appraisal of the professional baseball team. Both appraisals -- $551 million and $750 million – were made based on insider information and are significantly higher than outside estimates.

Currently, Larson owns 30.6 percent of the franchise. During his Seattle divorce, he is arguing that the worth of the franchise should not be split with his wife since much of their wealth, including the value of the baseball team, was created by Larson alone. Calhoun is arguing in divorce court that their net worth is $572 million, and that she is owed half of that amount. Since she has no interest in participating in owning the Mariners, she is asking her ex-spouse to sell his share and give her half of the profits.

The couple was married for 25 years. The judge in the Seattle divorce case is expected to make a decision by the end of the week.

Bellevue Dad Wins Custody of Daughter After Son Mysteriously Disappears

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

After a month in foster care, the four-year-old sister of a missing Bellevue toddler has been reunited with her father after a judge’s custody decision.

Last month, two-year-old Sky Metalwala was reported missing by his mother, Julia Biryukova. She explained to police that she left the toddler in an unlocked car after it broke down when she went for help with his older sister. When they returned to the vehicle, he was gone.

The father of the two children, Solomon Metalwala, does not believe that his recently divorced partner is telling police the whole story. He has told authorities that the two parents have been embroiled in a Washington State child custody case and that his ex-spouse isn’t to be trusted. While Biryukova has largely refused to answer police questioning, she is not officially considered a person of interest in the missing child case.

Before Sky disappeared, he and his sister, Maile, were both in the physical custody of their mother for one year. Now, Maile is in the care of her father as Bellevue Police continue their investigation.

Last year, Biryukova obtained a Washington State protection order against her ex-husband.

Peter Stienbrueck Talks Divorce, Possible Run for Mayor of Seattle

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

In 2007, Peter Stienbrueck stepped down from Seattle’s City Council after serving for ten years. At the time, he said that he was going to focus on family life and a new consulting business. Despite rumors, he did not run for mayor but instead accepted a one-year teach fellowship at Harvard University.

However, in a recent interview with The Seattle Times, Stienbrueck said that he has been considering a run for Seattle Mayor in 2013, following his return from teaching. The man, whose father was also a notable political presence in Seattle, explained that his family and private life had always influenced his decisions about career and politics, but that he and his wife were filing for divorce in Washington. He stated that if he were to run for mayor, he would announce his bid in six months.

He added that tension between family and his political life was often unavoidable. He said that since his return to Seattle in the spring, he has heard a lot of dissatisfaction and frustration from residents.

Stienbrueck’s parents divorced when he was a young child.

According to The Seattle Times, other possible mayoral candidates include Washington Senator Ed Murray, former King County Executive Ron Sims, city council member Tim Burgess, city council member Sally Clark, city council member Richard Conlin, and city council member Bruce Harrell.

Researchers Ponder Gender Bias & Child Custody Decisions

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Who is more likely to get custody of your children during a divorce or custody dispute? And, is there a bias toward women when judges decide Washington State child custody cases?

Gender, custody decisions, and public opinion

Researchers recently polled Americans to see whether the public believes that a bias exists when it comes to child custody decisions. Statistics show that while women are more likely to gain custody the vast majority of the time (women win primary custody 68-88 percent of the time, while men win primary custody 8-14 percent of the time), there are a number of factors that go into these decisions.

In this divorce and child custody study, participants were asked who should receive child custody if both parents spend an equal amount of time with their children. Seven out of ten people believed that custody should be split equally, while the remaining three people stated that the mother should have primary custody.

When participants were asked what should happen if children spend more time with their father mother or father, fifty percent said that custody should remain equal. However, more people said that a mother who spends more time with the kids currently should have primary custody than a father who spends more time with the kids currently.

What can we learn from this child custody study? While we are still not sure whether bias against fathers exists in the courts, a small amount of bias does seem to exist at large. At the same time, the public perceives that the court system is biased.

Legal help for child custody cases in Washington State

To speak with a Seattle child custody attorney, call Molly Kenny at (425) 460-0550.

Man Returns to Face Tukwila Domestic Violence Charges After 16 Years

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

A man charged with a domestic violence crime sixteen years ago in Tukwila has returned to Washington one-and-a half-decades later to face the consequences.

In 1996, 56-year-old Robert Amos Garner was charged with felony harassment after his ex-wife alleged that the man had punched her in the face several times and threatened her with a box knife. When police arrived, Garner had to be subdued with pepper spray and a box cutter was found lying on the bedroom floor. He pleaded guilty to the charge. But before sentencing, which would have likely resulted in a month in jail, Garner fled the state and started a new life.

Garner recently took a bus ride up the West Coast and turned himself in to police. He now faces more serious consequences after fleeing – up to three months in jail. However, his current wife, Kathleen, told the Seattle Times that her husband simply didn’t want to run anymore. He wanted to come clean, do his time, and try to regain many of the rights he lost when he ran from his sentencing. She also added that her husband and his ex had both been heavy drinkers at the time of the incident.

Garner and his ex-wife had been involved in one other domestic violence incident. Garner also served two years in prison for grand larceny beginning in 1996.

Seattle Lawyer Gets 20 Months For Arson, Domestic Violence Charge

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Seattle attorney who faced arson and domestic violence charges has entered into a plea bargain this week and will likely face a 20-month jail sentence for the crimes.

According to Seattle news sources, 40-year-old John Siegel entered an Alford plea – which means that while he does not admit guilt, he does admit that a jury would likely find him guilty. Siegel allegedly set fire to a home he jointly owned with his estranged wife just weeks after being released from jail on separate charges of domestic violence against his spouse. Police say he was found inside the house suffering from self-inflicted wounds.

Siegel, who also found himself in legal trouble after threatening to kill a judge in his first domestic violence hearing, is a lawyer who has been representing himself in court. In the plea, he would be serving concurrent jail time – 17 months for the arson charge and 20 months for violating court orders related to the original domestic violence charge. After the first charge, he was ordered not to have contact with his wife or the judge.

Siegel will remain in King County Jail until his sentencing in early December. His legal troubles began earlier this year, when he was accused of assaulting his spouse and sending her harassing text messages.

Missing Children Involved In Child Custody Case Found In Washington

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Two Florida children who disappeared during a child custody dispute in December have been found safe in Washington State – though thousands of miles from their home.

According to local news sources, 8-year-old Journey Everitt and 3-year-old Trust Everitt disappeared from their home almost a year ago, while their parents were involved in an acrimonious divorce and child custody battle. Authorities searching for the children believed that their mother, 30-year-old Chrystal Everitt, was responsible for their disappearance.

This month, an alert social worker reported that the mother and two children were at a homeless shelter located in Vancouver, Washington. When police investigated, they found that the three people had been living in the shelter since June. It is not clear where they were residing between their disappearance in December and that time.

The social worker became suspicious of Everitt after she refused social services and medical attention. The worker looked the woman up online and found out she was wanted for taking the children during a child custody case.

Everitt was arrested and has been charged with interfering with a child custody matter and child neglect. Jim Everitt, the father of the two children, was reunited with Journey and Trust this week.

Bellevue Child Involved in Custody Case Mysteriously Disappears

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Authorities are baffled by missing child case in which a toddler disappeared under strange circumstances during a Bellevue divorce and child custody dispute.

According to the Seattle Times, a Bellevue mom was driving with her two young children when she experienced car troubles. Then 30-year-old Julia Biryukova and her 4-year-old daughter walked to get gas and left her two-year-old boy Sky Elijah Metalwala in the unlocked car alone. When they returned to the car two hours later, the boy was missing and the friend that drove them to the car called 911.

The boy’s father has stated he is suspicious of his estranged wife’s story, which is similar to a recent episode of Law & Order, which Biryukova watches. The investigation has also found that the woman, who is a Ukrainian immigrant, has been active on “sugar daddy” online dating sites. The woman has been uncooperative with police since telling her initial story. Police say that the case is still a missing person case and not a crime, as the boy could be with relatives or the story could be accurate.

Biryukova has hired an attorney and is not speaking to the media. Her lawyer has said she will not take a lie detector test because of their inaccurate results. She told police that it wasn’t uncommon of her to leave her children unattended.

Zooey Deschanel & Ben Gibbard Divorce Two Years After Seattle Wedding

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Just two years after getting married in a ceremony outside of Seattle, Washington, actress and singer Zooey Deschanel and indie rock star Ben Gibbard have announced that they are filing for divorce.

Deschanel, who has a new and successful sitcom on Fox called New Girl, met Gibbard, the front man of the bands Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service, through mutual friends three years ago. They were married outside of Seattle in the fall of 2009 after Gibbard proposed with a three-karat diamond and platinum ring. An unnamed source as well as a representative of the couple told national news sources last month that their relationship had ended, that they had separated, and that they would be filing for divorce in Washington State as a next step.

Just months ago, Deschanel shared in an interview this summer that her relationship continued to be hard work even after their marriage and that Gibbard was often on tour. Gibbard told an interviewer in 2008 that he would rather make great music than great relationships, and that music was the only constant in his life.

The source said that the breakup was mutual and amicable, and that no third parties were involved in the split.

Federal Way Domestic Violence Taskforce Shares Local Stats, Resources

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

During a meeting late last month, the Federal Way City Council discussed local domestic violence statistics, shared Washington State domestic violence resources, and proclaimed that Federal Way would observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month each October.

The city council shared a few facts collected by Federal Way Police that might be shocking to those not familiar with domestic abuse statistics: there were 2,000 domestic violence calls in Federal Way last year alone, and Washington State reports over 50,000 family violence calls a year. Still, experts say that only about 30 percent of domestic disturbances are ever reported.

The city council also heard from the Federal Way Domestic Violence Task Force, who reported that the city's new law criminalizing domestic violence in front of children was a solid step toward reducing and controlling domestic violence in city limits. In addition, the task force is involved in prevention programs, educational programs, and awareness programs throughout Federal Way.

The meeting also stressed the number of local, state, and national resources for those who may currently be involved in a domestic abuse situation as well as those who are struggling to heal after leaving an abusive relationship. The Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline is free: (800) 562-6025.

West Seattle Man Arrested After Horrific Allegations of Domestic Abuse

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

A West Seattle man has been charged with third-degree assault, burglary, unlawful imprisonment, and stalking after he allegedly broke into his ex-girlfriend's apartment, tied her up, and beat her with a stun gun.

According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 48-year-old Robert Shaver broke into the residence of his ex-girlfriend, tied her wrists, and beat the woman while threatening to commit suicide and murder her. In the weeks leading up to the alleged Seattle domestic violence incident, the woman claims that her ex-boyfriend became increasingly dangerous and threatening. After the break-up, she told police that she was stalked, that her employer was harassed, and that her car was broken into. She filed a protection order just weeks before he broke into her apartment.

After the incident, police found a stun gun used in the attack as well as two suicide notes at the woman's apartment. Shaver, who resides in Riverside, was apprehended by police several days after the attack.

Shaver, who has a history of sex offenses and domestic violence offenses, is currently being held at King County Jail on $500,000 bail. Before this most recent arrest, Shaver was sentenced to eight months in jail after assaulting his ex-wife. Seventeen years ago, he was convicted of a sex offense.

Higher Divorce Rates in the Past Tied to More Education for Women

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce rates soared in the United States in the 1960s and 1970s - and many agree that this rise in unsuccessful marriages wasn't a good thing for American families. However, new research published by New York University professors Raquel Fernandez and Joyce Cheng Wong speaks to an often-ignored bright side to the rise in divorce in that era: more women than ever before entered the workforce and sought higher education.

The working paper, which was funded by the National Bureau of Economic Research, analyzes the changing status of women between 1935 and 1970, a time when America's culture and economy changed significantly in just a few decades. When divorce rates began to rise in the 1960s, partially because of the women's liberation movement and strides toward gender equality, many women found themselves without a support system, without work experience, and without the proper education to secure a job. At the same time, many needed to support their children after sometimes unfair divorce settlements.

The result? Fernandez and Wong found that these divorces encouraged (and sometimes required) women to return to school and enter the workforce. However, some things still haven't changed since 1955: many women, especially those with the least education, can still expect to face some economic hardship after a divorce.

Study: Sexual Satisfaction, Not Frequency, May Better Predict Divorce

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study that examined sexual satisfaction, frequency of sex, and agreement between partners about the quality of their sex lives has found that a man's sexual satisfaction is the best predictor of successful marriages and divorce.

In the study, researchers collected data from 1,000 young couples over a period of six years. While neither the frequency of sex or agreement between partners could be linked with divorce, the sexual satisfaction of the man in the relationship did affect the success of a marriage. In fact, men who were sexually satisfied in their marriage were 87.5 percent less likely to experience marital problems than those who reported that they were not satisfied. While a sexually satisfied wife was also tied with lasting marriages, researches could not separate sexual satisfaction with overall marriage satisfaction for the women in the study.

What does this study teach us? Because of how the study was conducted, it is hard to draw any hard conclusions from the data except that sexual satisfaction is more important than the frequency of sex in a marriage. More research must be done to clarify the connection between happiness in the bedroom and happiness in married life.

The researcher who conducted the study adds that more research needs to be done because all of the couples examined where newlyweds and resided in the same geographic area.

U.S. Census Shows Growing Numbers of Single Dads With Primary Custody

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Data taken from the 2010 United States Census shows that more households in America are run by single fathers than ever before.

In the last decade, the number of families headed by single dads grew a staggering 27.3 percent. In 1950, only 1.1 percent of homes in the United States were run by single males. By 2000, that number had grown to 6.3 percent. Today, a full eight percent of households are supported by single fathers.

What has caused this increase in single fathers with primary custody of their children? Experts believe that it is probably a mix of factors. Society and family values have shifted from 1950, when fathers were not often seen as capable of childcare and when dads were expected to work away from the home. At the same time, courts have instated child custody laws that decide on a child's primary residence by examining what is in the best interests of the child, not by assuming the mother is the right choice.

In addition, some researchers believe that the growing number of single fathers raising children may be related to the growing number of couples who cohabitate and have children before marrying. The Census shows these households as having a "single" father with children, despite the presence of a significant other in the home.

Former Seattle Mariner Faces New Domestic Violence Charges

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Former Seattle Mariners player Milton Bradley has once again been accused of domestic violence following an alleged assault on his wife at their home in September.

According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the 33-year-old former professional baseball player was arguing with his wife when he picked up a baseball bat and began swinging it at his wife, Monique. She called 911 at around 2:30 p.m.

Bradley fled the scene of the alleged crime but was stopped by police nearby. He was arrested on suspected felony battery and held at the Van Nuys Jail until released on $30,000 bail.

Bradley, who has a long history of anger management problems, was picked up after a domestic violence incident in January, in which he was accused of making threats against his wife. In that case, charges were not filed.

When she filed for divorce in March, Monique Bradley stated that she had endured physical abuse throughout the couple's five-year relationship, including one incident in which Bradley allegedly threw a glass at her head following a New Years Eve party. The couple has two young sons.

Bradley was released by the Mariners last spring after the team failed to trade him.

Study Links Government Assistance With Divorce

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new report out of the University of Missouri has found that receiving government assistance such as welfare, food stamps, or Medicaid, is linked to significantly higher rates of divorce. This research confirms what many have guessed in the past: stress over money and poverty are enormous stresses on relationships.

According to David Schramm, an assistant professor in Human Development and Family Studies and the author of the study, the research he conducted not only shows that low income and financial woes affect divorce rates, but that those who seek government assistance are more likely to divorce than those with similar money issues. Specifically, the study found that couples making less than $20,000 a year per household were more likely to report feeling trapped in their marriage, less overall satisfaction with their marriage, negative feelings toward their marriage, and commitment issues.

Very simply, relationship experts believe that low incomes, debt and other financial issues lead to high levels of stress – much of which can be taken out on a partner.

Currently, about 45 million people in the United States receive some sort of government assistance.

Researchers hope that the information discovered in this study can lead to education and awareness for low income families who are struggling with money and perhaps their relationship.

Study Links Divorce and Women's Hair Loss

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study conducted by the Case Western Reserve School of Medicine has found that divorce can lead to hair loss in women, but not in men. The authors of the study and other experts believe that the stress felt during and after a divorce is the main cause of the hair loss, although more studies or research will have to be conducted to confirm the cause.

For the study, researchers studied 84 pairs of identical twins so that the factor of genetic differences was ruled out and so that scientists could focus on environmental differences.

While happily single and happily married women did not show significant hair loss, women who had divorced and women who were widowed did experience thinning or receding hair. Women who drank alcohol and smoked also had higher rates of thinning hair, while women who drank coffee and wore sunscreen had thicker hair. Men's hairlines were not affected by divorce, although drinking, smoking, high blood pressure, and lack of exercise were factors in losing hair. Having diabetes or suffering from a skin condition also affected hair loss in both men and women.

Researchers stressed that the answer to thicker hair is certainly not staying in an unhappy marriage, but rather to focus on how you handle stressful situations in your life. The mind-body connection may well be stronger than we think, and controlling stress may be one key to staying healthy.

U.S. Census Reveals Regions With Highest Divorce Rates

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

For the first time ever, the United States Census has released an analysis of marriage and divorce rates across the country, using data from their 2009 survey of three million homes. The findings showed that Western states, such as Washington, have both higher rates of marriage and higher rates of divorce than average.

Here are some interesting statistics from the report:

Marriage rates are at an all-time low, with only 52 percent of Americans over 18 tying the knot.
46.3 percent of adults aged 25-34 remain unmarried - a larger number than divorced and widowed adults in the same age group.
In 2009, 19.1 marriages took place for every 1,000 men and 17.6 marriages took place for every 1,000 women.
In the same year, about 9 divorces took place per every 1,000 Americans.
Southern states led the country both in the number of divorces and in the number of marriages.
The Northeast had both the lowest marriage rates and the lowest divorce rates - probably because couples wait longer to marry in this region.
Recently divorced women raising children reported significantly higher poverty rates than other groups.
Over one million children experienced a divorce in their family in the year before 2009.

If you are considering divorce in Washington, contact a Seattle Family Law attorney today.

First Hill Doctor Charged With Domestic Violence Murders in Seattle

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Washington State doctor has pleaded not guilty to two counts of aggravated first-degree murder after police say that he stabbed his long-time partner and their two-year-old son to death in their First Hill apartment.

According to the Seattle Times, 39-year-old Dr. Louis Chen and 29-year-old Eric Cooper began dating over a decade ago after Chen immigrated from Taiwan and while Cooper was still in high school. In 2009, the couple had a child through surrogacy, Cooper Chen.

Friends and family have told authorities that the First Hill couple had relationship issues and that Chen was often controlling and bossy toward his partner. In the past few months, those who knew the couple said that they had decided to stop living together, end their relationship, and split the custody of their toddler son.

Last week, a representative from Chen's medical center went to the penthouse apartment to check on the man, who was supposed to start a new job in September. Chen answered the door naked and covered in blood. He admitted to stabbing his partner over 100 times and to stabbing his child. He was also injured in the domestic violence incident, though it is unclear how or why.

The Seattle domestic violence lawyers at the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny offer our sincere condolences to the family and friends of the victims of this tragic accident.

UK Survey: Infidelity is No Longer the Leading Cause of Divorce

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

A survey of over 100 family attorneys in the United Kingdom has found that the extramarital affair is no longer the leading reason for divorce in the country. Infidelity had been recorded as the leading cause of divorce for the last eight years that the survey has been conducted.

Now, according to the lawyers questioned, the most common reason that clients decided to end their marriage was "no longer feeling in love" and "growing apart." The research found that 27 percent of couples split due to simply growing apart, while about 25 percent of couples ended their relationships because of affairs.

Why are fewer couples divorcing due to infidelity? There could be a number of reasons.

The simplest answer is that fewer affairs are taking place. A more complex answer is that couples are trying harder to survive extramarital affairs and repair their partnership and trust in the wake of infidelity.

Some relationship experts suggest that the larger number of celebrity couples who are working through the pain of extramarital affairs and mending their relationships could be affecting the decisions of others when their own marriages are marred by infidelity.

The survey also found that sixty percent of the divorce lawyers questioned reported an increase in couples drawing up pre-nuptial agreements before saying, "I do."

If you would like to schedule a confidential consultation with a Washington divorce lawyer, contact The Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny today.

Children Can Live With Child Killer For Now, Judge Rules

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Trisha Conlon received good news and bad news in the August 29, 2011 ruling of a Seattle child custody case that has gained national attention.

While King County Superior Court Judge William Downing ruled that Conlon's teenage sons can continue living with a woman who killed her own children, he also overturned a previous decision by a court commissioner, who ruled that the parenting plan did not need to be changed.

Judge's Downing's ruling requires that a court-appointed child advocate investigate on behalf of the children's interests and submit a report within 90 days. During the investigation, no change will be made to the residential arrangement. At the end of the investigation, the court will decide if the teenagers' residential schedules need modification.

Conlon, who divorced Marine fighter pilot Lt. Col. John P. Cushing Jr. in 2004, learned last spring that Kristine Cushing, the former wife of Conlon's ex-husband, had been living in Cushing's home with Conlon's sons. Her concerns about the living arrangement stemmed from Kristine Cushing's violent past.

In October 1991, Kristine shot and killed her 4- and 8-year old daughters as they slept in their home in Laguna Niguel, California. The killings were blamed on a bad reaction to Prozac, and Kristine was found not guilty by reason of insanity. She spent four years in a mental institution and was kept under psychiatric monitoring for almost a decade. In 2005, she received an unconditional release from the state of California, who concluded that she posed no risk. It was in that same year that she remarried John Cushing.

On July 25, 2011, a court commissioner determined that Kristine had been living in the home since 2005 and had not posed any risk to the two children. Therefore, he ruled that there was no reason to make a change to the parenting plan.

Study: Cohabitation Replaces Divorce as Biggest Threat to Children

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

While divorce was once considered to be the biggest threat to a child's mental and physical well-being, a new study by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values reports that cohabitation has become "the largest unrecognized threat to the quality and stability of children's family lives."

According to the report, titled "Why Marriage Matters, Third Edition: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences," approximately 24 percent of children in the United States are born to cohabiting couples, and 42 percent of children have lived in a cohabiting household by age 12.

Children in cohabiting households are three times more likely to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused, in comparison to children of intact, married-parent homes, the study reports. The researchers also found that children of cohabiting households are five times more likely to experience "depression, difficulty sleeping, feelings of worthlessness, nervousness, and tension."

Additionally, the study reports that teenagers of cohabiting households are 60 percent less likely to graduate and more likely to become involved in drugs than their counterparts who have grown up in a household with married parents.

Researchers believe that the instability of cohabitation, which often includes adults coming and going in a child's life, is one of the main reasons for these statistics.

Critics of the study believe that cohabitation alone cannot be blamed for these findings, and assert that instability is not caused by cohabitation, but by a lack of education, jobs, and income.

Congressman Jim McDermott And Wife Divorce In Seattle

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Representative Jim McDermott, a democrat living in Seattle, announced that he is divorcing his second wife, Therese Hansen. In a written statement released by his office, McDermott did not say the reason or reasons for the divorce, though he did say that he was enduring a very difficult and painful time.

The couple has been married for 14 years. McDermott, who has represented Washington’s 7th congressional district in the U.S. House for the last 22 years and over 12 terms. The man, who is a former psychiatrist, represents Seattle, Vashon Island, Burien, Seatac, Tukwila, Lake Forest Park and Shoreline. Hansen is a Seattle attorney who has spent much of her free time aiding West Africa and who is spending the summer volunteering at a national park in the Sierra Mountains.

McDermott was formally married to Virginia McDermott, with whom he has two adult children. He and Virginia divorce not long after he entered Congress in 1989.

McDermott asked in his written statement that he and his spouse are granted privacy during their difficult time because it is a personal matter.

The congressman is one of several Pacific Northwest politicians to announce a divorce while holding office, though many of the more recent divorces among public figures in this region have not been without controversy.

DSHS accidentally released confidential information of almost 4,000 custodial parents

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Washington State Department of Social and Health Services Division of Child Support released a statement on Tuesday, August 9, notifying the public of the accidental disclosure of the addresses of nearly 4,000 custodial parents in the state.

The Division of Child Support handles most child support payments in the state. After mailing out information regarding medical insurance to noncustodial parents in early July, the state realized that the documents included mailing addresses for the custodial parents as well. The error is said to have been caused by a coding problem on the federally required insurance enrollment form.

Adolfo Capestany, a spokesman for the division, told the Seattle Times that that none of the released addresses were determined to be highly sensitive, such as addresses of domestic violence victims or foster families.

The state has made changes to minimize this mistake from happening again. Additionally, all individuals whose information was released have been notified. Anyone who may have been affected can contact the Division of Child Support's Community Relations Unit at 1-800-457-6202 with concerns or to gather information about the risk of identity theft or physical or emotional harm as a result of the information leakage.

Generation Xers Striving For "Peer" Marriages That Last, Researcher Says

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Generation X has some of the lowest divorce rates ever recorded – at least so far. What is making them so successful at staying together? Some researchers and marriage experts believe that their attempts at peer marriage might be working, while their desire to have a different family life then their often-divorced parents also helps.

According to one researcher who studies marriage and divorce, Generation X has a better idea about how to stay an individual during a marriage. Their parents' marriages often ended unhappily because one spouse tried to dominate the other, or because there were clear gender roles that caused resentment. Today, a larger number of spouses are more open to keeping their own lives and hobbies even in marriage – and even keeping a few harmless secrets. At the same time, the researcher said, people have a better grasp that marriage doesn’t lead to happiness. While a long-term and committed relationship can be rewarding and enjoyable, you are still responsible for the your own happiness.

The final helpful Generation X marriage advice? It seems like the newer generation is more likely to understand that no marriage is perfect and that no two marriages are the same. With no pressure to be perfect, it can be easier to be content with what you have.

Study: Kids Have Sleep Troubles When Parents Fight About Divorce

Sun, 07 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you and your spouse are having serious fights, you may be affecting how well your kids sleep at night – or so says a new study that examined the connection between marital stress and family stress.

In the study, which followed 357 adoptive parents over a nine-month period, found that parents who said that they had arguments that included serious thoughts of divorce also reported that their children had difficulties sleeping. More specifically, parents who reported fighting when their child was nine months old were significantly more likely to report that their child didn’t sleep well at 18 months old. Adopted children were used in the study in order to eliminate genetic factors and focus on environmental factors.

What do the results of the study mean? Researchers say that stress between parents may have more of an affect on young children than we previously thought and that staying together for the kids might actually be causing more stress within the family unit than parents realize. In addition, researchers added that spousal arguments and poor child sleep patterns can have a downward spiral effect, with more fights leading to more child sleep issues leading to more fights.

This study on child sleep problems, fighting parents, and divorce was published in academic journal Child Development.

Muckleshoot Casino Shooter Faces Attempted Murder and Domestic Violence Charges

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Seven peple were injured early Sunday morning at the Muckleshoot Casino in Auburn, in what police are calling a domestic violence-related shooting.

According to the Seattle Times, Cesar Arturo Chaparro of Covington admitted to police that he followed his estranged wife and a male companion to the Galaxy Club, a nightclub inside the Casino, late Saturday night. When he saw the couple dancing, he "couldn't stand it" and opened fire.

Reports say he fired multiple rounds inside the nightclub, injuring his wife, her boyfriend, and two of his wife's sisters, before being tackled by Casino security. It is unclear whether the other three injuries occured from gunshots or during the rush to escape the nightclub.

Chaparro is being held in the King County Jail with a $1 million bail on suspicion of four counts of first-degree attempted murder and three counts of domestic violence.

After West Seattle Standoff, Man Charged With Domestic Violence Assaults

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Following a July 15 standoff with West Seattle Police, a young man has turned himself in and been charged with two counts of domestic violence assault against his teenaged ex-girlfriend.

According to the West Seattle Herald, 20-year-old Jory Lee Preston had a history of harassing and stalking his ex-girlfriend, a17-year-old girl. The young woman said that after the couple broke up in March, Preston had sent her threatening text messages, called her derogatory names, and followed her to parties.

The harassment came to a head on July 14, when the woman told police that Preston followed her to a party, where he called her names and would not leave the premise. After getting into a fight with another partygoer, Preston allegedly brought his ex to his car, pulled a revolver on her, and threatened her life. He also pulled out the revolver and cocked it during the party, which was broken up by police. After he left, police sought the man at his apartment, where he barricaded himself and refused to come out. He later fled the apartment with his mother, but turned himself in to police shortly afterward.

Before the gun incident, another domestic violence incident took place between the couple in a park, where Preston threatened to push the girl into traffic and tried to force her into his car.

Study: More Cuddling Could Improve Men's Marriages

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Women are the ones that need more cuddling, hugging, and kissing, right? Wrong, says a new study regarding cuddling and long-term relationships. Researchers who surveyed over 1,000 couples in five countries across the world found that men are more likely to stay in long-term relationships if they are getting hugs and physical affection from their spouses.

In an article that will be published in an upcoming issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior, The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction researchers explain that they found the opposite of what they were expecting to find: in reality, men are more satisfied in long term relationships if they receive cuddling and kisses, while women are more satisfied in long term relationship if they are sexually satisfied.

The study looked at a number of long-term relationships (between 25- and 50-year marriages) in the United States, Spain, Germany, Japan, and Brazil. Researchers said that they believe that studying what keeps marriages together is just as important as studying what causes divorces.

Researchers are quick to point out that the study only correlates the importance of physical affection and men in happy relationships – it does not directly prove that more cuddling will prevent divorce. In fact, it could simply be that men who like more physical affection are more likely to have happy long-term relationships, or that happy couples cuddle more.

Mercer Island Man Charged With Felony Domestic Violence

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

A King County man has been charged with arson and felony domestic violence after allegedly setting the home he owns with his ex-wife on fire and attempting suicide.

According to the West Seattle Herald, 40-year-old John C. Siegel violated a court order to stay away from his ex-wife after a number of other illegal domestic violence incidents over the past three years. Seattle Police say that they responded to two emergency calls earlier this week – one regarding a house fire and another regarding a suicidal man. Emergency responders found Siegel in the home with self-inflicted cuts on his wrists and a fire spreading in the home. Though Seigel did not admit to starting the fire, an initial investigation revealed that the blaze was started by someone with an open flame in an upstairs room.

Siegel’s ex-spouse told authorities that he told her the night before that he would kill himself if she left. A neighbor told police that the home was in foreclosure.

Siegel was recently released from jail following a string of convictions stemming from his domestic violence related to his divorce proceedings. The issues began in 2008, when he reportedly broke his wife’s jaw. That incident was followed with a restraining order, restraining order violations, threatening messages, stalking, and assaults. In March, he was charged after threatening to kill Seattle Municipal Court Judge Kimi Kondo during a court proceeding. In May, a former employee accused him of assault and harassment.

Greenwood Man Faces Domestic Violence Murder Charges

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

A man has been charged with second-degree murder with a domestic violence enhancement in King County this week. According to the Seattle Times, 43-year-old Mussie E. Weldeyohannes allegedly strangled his girlfriend, Rahel Sium of North Seattle, while her 4-year-old daughter slept in the room.

Weldeyohannes has a history of domestic violence and had only been recently released from jail after making threats of violence against Sium last year. Sium moved to the United States a year ago and moved to the Seattle area while Weldeyohannes served out his sentence. Two weeks ago, he came to live with Sium despite a restraining order.

Just hours before the murder took place, Weldeyohannes texted a number of friends with messages that he needed to kill his girlfriend and himself. After the murder, he said that Sium had ruined his life by sending him to jail and that he was feeling out of control. He also told authorities that he believed Sium had been seeing another man and admitted to killing his girlfriend.

After the murder, Weldeyohannes ran and was not located until several days later, when the stolen car he was driving got a flat tire and a resident reported him to police. He will be arraigned today at the King County Courthouse. His bail is set at $2 million.

King County Child Custody Expert Witness Left Behind Lies & Destruction

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Psychologist Stuart Greenberg committed suicide in 2007 amid accusations that he had installed a hidden camera in his employees' bathroom. However, as King County officials have uncovered his past over the last four years, it has become clear that the majority of Greenberg’s career was colored by deception, lying and scandal – and that he could have adversely affected the outcome of dozens or hundreds of Washington State child custody cases and sexual assault cases.

In a Seattle Times Special Report, the shocking professional life of Greenberg is revealed – consisting of decades of unethical and unlawful incidents in the state court system. Greenberg, who was a millionaire and renowned forensic psychology when he died, evaluated thousands of people during his career and testified in just as many court cases. What the families and judges around him did not know was that the man was part of an investment scheme that made him business partners with some of Seattle’s family law attorneys and other parties. The result? Greenberg admitted to giving false testimony in a number of child custody cases in order to please fellow investors or advance his own cause.

In one case, which took place in 1984, a Woodinville woman lost custody of her four-year-old son after Greensberg testified that she was probably sexually abusing her son and that she was too mentally ill to care for him. In reality, Greensberg was financially connected to the woman’s ex-husband’s attorney. She did not get custody of her son again until five years later.

Seattle Man Continues To Harass Girlfriend While In Jail For Domestic Violence

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Do domestic abuse and emotional abuse stop when your abuser is put behind bars? This month one Seattle woman found that she was still being intimidated, shamed, and controlled even after her ex-boyfriend was incarcerated for his actions.

According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and King County prosecutors, 36-year-old Jaybe Beaver Junior of Seattle allegedly continued to speak with and threaten his ex-girlfriend over the phone and through relatives after he was imprisoned for threatening her and her child with a gun in early May.

After the domestic violence incident, Beaver called the woman from jail via a three-way call and told her he wouldn’t hurt her as long as she took back her story regarding the gun, his past threats and emotional abuse. In another call, he instructs the woman to contact a witness to the incident witness and have then take back their story. Later the woman was followed by Beaver’s cousins and told police she was frightened of going ahead with the case.

In addition to his previous domestic violence crimes, Beaver is now charged with witness tampering and violating a protection order. He has already pleaded guilty to the original charges of assault and illegal gun possession. In the past, seven different women have asked for protection orders against the man.

Teens Who Have Sex Are More Likely To Divorce Down The Road

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study out of the University of Iowa has found that women who lose their virginity as young teens and women who lose their virginity as teens before they choose to are significantly more likely to divorce later in life. However, teens who waited to have sexual intercourse with a partner they chose in their later teen years did not have a significantly increased chance of divorce.

The study on teen sex and divorce examined roughly 3,800 women. Of those who lost their virginity as teens, 31 percent had a later marriage that ended within 5 years and 47 percent divorced their spouse within 10 years. Of those who waited until later in life to become sexually active, only 15 percent were divorced at the five-year mark, and 27 percent were divorced after a decade.

The researchers were sure to point out that the teen divorce study results were more complicated than they appear at first. Divorce rates depended heavily on what the woman’s first sexual experience was like: whether it was forced and whether it took place in the female’s early teens or late teens. In addition, other teen issues, such as teen pregnancy, teen motherhood, and large numbers of sexual partners also affected the numbers.

What can we learn from this study? Researchers say that rather than taking away the lesson that teens should never have sex, it is perhaps better to focus on the fact that those who wait until at least their late teen years and truly think before engaging in sexual activity will have a better chance at having healthy adult relationships.

Comedian Faizon Love Arrested For Domestic Violence In Seattle

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Comedian Faizon Love was arrested in Seattle, Washington, last week after city police received a call regarding a domestic violence disturbance. One source said that the arrest came after a “heated” exchange with a female companion.

The funnyman, who is most known for his roles in the movies Elf, Friday, and Couples Retreat, was arrested and booked just after nine in the morning on Friday, June 11, for fourth degree domestic violence assault. Although he was initially denied bail for an unknown reason at King County Jail, the actor was release the next afternoon after posting $10,000 bail.

Faizon Love was scheduled to perform a standup routine three nights in a row at The Parlor, a comedy club in Seattle. However, according to the owner of the club, Love performed the first night but was jailed the second night for domestic violence, when two opening acts filled in for the comedian. It is not clear whether the man performed at the club after posting bail on Saturday.

Love was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon two years ago when he beat up a man outside of a hotel in Hollywood. He is still currently on probation. His attorney did not comment on this most recent charge.

Study: Divorce Affects Children's Math Scores, Friendships

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

While all experts agree that divorce is not easy on kids, there is a surprising lack of solid research regarding exactly how children are affected by arguing parents, the divorce proceedings themselves, and post-divorce life. Now, however, a new study has shed light on all three of these stages.

According to divorce researcher Hyun Sik Kim, children are affected most significantly in the two years during and after a divorce – and they show this through lower math scores, social issues in school, and mental health problems like depression and anxiety. At the same time, divorce did not seem to significantly affect children’s reading scores or behavior in the classroom.

The study began in 1988 and followed roughly 3,500 children from kindergarten through eighth grade. Of the group, 142 children experienced a divorce in the family, while 3,443 children had stable homes during the eight-year study. The kids of widows, single parents, and remarried parents were excluded, and the study was controlled for kids’ socioeconomic status, teen pregnancy, and marital satisfaction.

The study found that children are most affected by divorce during the actual process of separation and other proceedings, while children were not significantly affected directly before the divorce or two years after the divorce. The researcher noted that this study doesn’t explore whether the children of parents in unhappy relationships also suffer socially and academically.

New University Of Washington President Weds Former Student After Divorce

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Just weeks after the new University of Washington president Michael Young finished answering questions about his recent divorce as well as his move from the University of Utah to Seattle, the new administrator is now answering questions about his new marriage to his second wife, which took place two weekends ago.

Last year, Young divorced his wife of 38 years, and, in large part because of Utah’s conservative Mormon culture, was the center of controversy. While he insists that the school did not quietly ask him to leave because of the divorce, he admits that making a fresh start in a new region of the country and with a new job was a good choice. Now the 61-year-old, who told Seattle papers last month that he did not take divorce lightly, has remarried to 38-year-old Marti Young, a former student at University of Utah.

Marti Young is also recently divorced, from Steve Denkers, a donor of note at the University of Utah, as of early last year. The couple insists that they were not romantically involved until after they were separated from their spouses.

Though it sounds like there was drama in the past, everyone seems to be looking forward to a new, quiet start in Seattle at a new school. Young, who has been very open to speaking of his recent life changes and career change, has said he is happy to explain but also plans on keeping his private life more private in the future.

New University Of Washington President Discusses Recent Divorce

Mon, 30 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

The new President of the University of Washington in Seattle is eager to begin a new phase in his professional career and to lead the school further in the direction of success. However, in an interview with the Seattle Times, Michael K. Young explained that coming to Washington State from Utah is also giving him a chance at a fresh start after a divorce.

Young, who was the President of the University of Utah until last year, said that it was difficult for his entire family when he and his wife of 25 years, Susan, decided to divorce. More than that, as a Mormon in a largely Mormon environment, Young felt that his divorce was made even harder by critics and speculators.

When his divorce was announced in 2010, Michele Mattsson, a member of the university’s Board of Trustees, described the split with his spouse as “shocking and unsettling.” James Macfarlane, former chair of the University of Utah trustees, said that while Young’s divorce did not endanger his job, it probably did make him want to seek a new start and a new environment.

What did Young have to say about his divorce and the new phase of his life? "Utah is not an easy place to get divorced… It's what happens in a marriage, and I also hope people understand, you don't leave a 35-year marriage casually."

Lynnwood Man Allegedly Beaten By Wife And Son In Domestic Violence Assault

Sun, 29 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A Lynnwood woman and her adult son have been charged with first-degree domestic violence assault and first-degree robbery after allegedly beating a man with a baseball bat and wrench while he slept in his home.

According to the man, he filed for a divorce from his wife of 20 years, 53-year-old Debra Glenn, just weeks ago. He also obtained a protection order against his wife and her son, 35-year-old Jacob Warner, saying that the pair were involved in drugs and could potentially harm him and the couple’s other son.

On April 11, Lynnwood Police believe that Glenn and Warner did just that. According to evidence, it appears that mother and son broke into the man’s home and began to strike him with a baseball bat as he slept. The man broke free of the pair, locked himself in the bathroom, and called 911. Police found meth on Glenn the day after the attack as well as bank cards in her husband’s name that he reported missing from the house.

Glenn, who has served prison time in the past for robbery, said that she did not commit the crimes and that her husband was lying about the event. She also claimed that she and her son did not use illegal drugs. During her last trial, Glenn’s attorney argued that Glenn suffers from some mental health conditions and was not taking her medication at the time of the crime.

Her husband has been released from the hospital with stitches for his head wound.

Arbor Heights Man Stabbed In Domestic Dispute

Sat, 28 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A 25-year-old Arbor Heights man was rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle on May 21 at approximately two in the morning after he was stabbed in the stomach with a kitchen knife during an alleged domestic dispute.

According to West Seattle Blog and the West Seattle Herald, the Seattle Fire Department, Seattle Police Department, and emergency medical responders were called to the scene after a 911 call about a domestic violence incident. Witnesses at the scene reported that the stabbing took place when a woman’s ex-boyfriend broke into the home and attacked both her and another woman in the residence. A man in the residence stopped the assault by stabbing the man with a kitchen knife.

The stabbing victim has been arrested for domestic violence assault and the case is still under investigation. The police report that there are no outstanding suspects and that a K-9 Unit searched the property for evidence. Police stress that they have heard different facts and different stories from the various participants and witnesses of the crime and are sorting out the evidence and various accounts.

The Washington State domestic violence incident took place in the 3700 block of SW 99th St. in West Seattle.

Facing Pressure, Japan Will Join International Child Custody Pact

Fri, 27 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

After years of mounting pressure from other countries, Japan has agreed to revise some of their current international child custody policies and join the international child custody pact, created at the 1980 Hague Convention on international abduction. Japan is the last of the Group of Seven nations to sign the pact.

In recent years, Japan has been under fire for harboring Japanese women and their children without being fair to their foreign fathers – their actions reflect their national child custody laws, in which only one parent receives custody of the children and in which mothers are nearly always granted custody.

The United States State Department and the US Embassy in Tokyo says that there are an estimated one hundred and thirty active cases involving children with American fathers who have been taken by their mothers to Japan. While many hope that this new pact signing will allow these fathers greater visitation rights, some worry that not much will change in the future.

Japan’s role in sheltering Japanese parents who fled America with their children during child custody disputes was put in the spotlight in 2009 after a US father, Christopher Savoie, was arrested in Japan for “abducting” his children in Japan as they walked to school. His ex-wife, Japanese citizen Noriko Savoie, had violated US court orders and taken her children to Japan years before.

The move to join the pact was made by Japan’s Cabinet and supported by Prime Minister Naoto Kan.

Walla Walla Woman Charged After Fleeing Country With Children

Thu, 26 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

A doctor in Walla Walla, Washington, has been charged with two counts of first-degree custodial interference after she allegedly fled the country with her two children during a child custody case in 2009.

According to the Union-Bulletin and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 45-year-old Kirsten Eberhardt has been charged with two felonies in Walla Walla County Superior Court regarding taking her two children, 12-year-old Nora Post and 10-year-old Ian Post, out of the country during a child custody dispute with her ex-husband. According to the charges, Eberhardt left the state and the country in violation of the official parenting plan two years ago. Eberhardt was a practicing OB/GYN at the Women's Clinic in Walla Walla.

The couple, news sources say, went through a lengthy divorce and bitter child custody battle before the woman allegedly took the children in violation of court orders.

If you believe that your ex-spouse or partner has violated their court-ordered parenting plan, or if your ex-spouse has fled the state or country with your children during a child custody dispute, you should speak with a Washington State child custody lawyer about your case immediately.

Study: Gray Divorce Can Be More Emotionally Challenging

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorces in late life, referred to by many as “gray divorce” or “silver divorce” are becoming increasingly common, and as more people divorce in their 50s and 60s, it is becoming clear that divorcing after middle age comes with a unique set of challenges and issues.

In the United States, the divorce rate of those over 50 has doubled in the last two decades. The reason? Researchers say that baby boomers are in better health for longer, starting second careers, and simply have different attitudes toward life than past generations.

However, divorce can take a heavy toll on older men and women. Many have been married for decades, and their lives are often entwined even more than younger married couples. Those who divorce in their 50s often share sets of friends, property, children, assets, retirement accounts – and don’t even recall what it was like to be single 25 or 35 years before. Returning to a single life – which may include a downsized lifestyle, a brand new dating world, and a possible reentry into the business world – can be intimidating.

The two most pressing issues for those facing a silver divorce: security and loneliness. Many have empty nests and adult children who have started their own lives. At the same time, they no longer have the luxury of someone to contribute to the household – both financially and in other ways.

However, many of those who have gone through a late-life divorce say that it simply took more time to re-gain their footing – and to realize that new doors had opened and that a new life is ahead.

Washington Huskies Player Charged With Domestic Violence

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Washington Huskies wide receiver Jordan Polk was asked to leave the University of Washington’s football team after being charged with a domestic violence crime in Seattle that involved breaking and entering and property damage.

According to the Seattle Times, Polk, a 21-year-old junior who has played as a wide receiver, punter, and kick returner, has been charged with a misdemeanor that could be punishable by up to a year in prison.

The domestic violence incident took place in February, when Polk learned that his ex-girlfriend was celebrating her 21st birthday with a new love interest. Polk first called the woman repeatedly and then broke into her home and beat down the door to her bedroom, where she was sleeping.

The University of Washington released a statement saying that Polk and the team’s coaches agreed that it would be best for him not to return next year, and that he needed a “fresh start” elsewhere. The head coach said that the decision to take Polk off of the team was not entirely based on the domestic violence charges.

Polk is the third Washington Husky athlete to be charged with a serious crime in the last year – one player was suspended while the other was suspended until the NCAA basketball tournament. During his football career at the University of Washington, Polk caught 19 balls for 191 yards and was being considered for a more regular spot as a wide receiver for his senior year.

New Study Confirms Facebook A Factor In 20 Percent Of Divorces

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

You’ve probably read that Facebook and other social networking internet sites are increasingly responsible for broken marriages and divorces. But the newest study linking Facebook use and divorce has produced an utterly shocking statistic: roughly 20 percent of divorces in America now involve Facebook use.

Another study, conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), found that eight out of ten family law attorneys in the United States reported a significant increase in divorce cases that were caused by or involved a social networking site.

How can Facebook lead to divorce? In many cases, researchers say, a spouse will connect with an old friend or old love interest from high school or college. Soon, they will begin exchanging personal messages and perhaps find someone understanding and willing to listen. This could then turn into an emotional affair or in-person meetings. In other cases, a spouse could join a social networking website, or even a online dating site, and intentionally look for new people to meet and date.

A divorce that involves Facebook or other online activities also means a divorce in which solid evidence of a spouse’s infidelity or other inappropriate actions is available. From chats to status updates to tweets to pictures, a spouse’s online life can come back and harm them during the divorce process or child custody process.

How can you prevent Facebook from affecting your marriage? Talk to your spouse about what you find to be an acceptable amount of social networking and even share passwords with your husband or wife. Also, when reconnecting with old friends, be sure to check your own behavior and not engage in intimate conversation.

Milton Bradley Divorce: Seattle Mariner Threw Glass At Wife

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

The wife of Seattle Mariners outfielder Milton Bradley, Monique Bradley, has filed for divorce. According to the filing, the pro-baseball star physically abused her during their six-year marriage.

Specifically, Monique stated that while they were vacationing in New York for New Year's Eve four months ago, Milton shouted at her for several minutes and then threw a glass at her head. The glass, which shattered on impact, caused Monique bleeding and minor injuries. When hotel security personnel knocked on their door, Monique ran to the bathroom to treat her cut while Milton said that there wasn’t a problem. She did not go to the hospital for treatment.

After the domestic violence incident, Monique says that her husband begged for forgiveness and threatened to kill himself if she left him. She filed for a restraining order a few weeks later and has now asked for a divorce. The divorce cites irreconcilable differences as the reason the couple is separating.

Milton’s lawyer said that the baseball player, who has a record of angry outbursts in the past, will not face charges of domestic violence. In 2004, the man threatened a police officer during a traffic stop. In 2005, he threw a water bottle at a fan and threatened a sports reporter. In 2010, he lost game time because of “emotional issues.”

The couple has two children, sons Jeremiah and Noah, ages one and five. In the Washington State divorce, Monique is seeking full legal and physical custody of the children as well as child support.

Parents of Twins Slightly More Likely To Divorce, Study Says

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

It has been well documented that the divorce rate of couples who have triplets (or other multiple births) is much higher than that of couples who have one child at a time. Now, a new study has shed light on whether or not divorce rates go up when couples have twins.

Conducted by researchers at Mass General Hospital, and led by Dr. Anupam Jena, the study found that couples who have twins are slightly more likely to divorce than couples who don’t have twins. After analyzing data from the 1980 census, focusing on the marital status of the parents of twins, they found that parents who had single children had a divorce rate of 13 percent, while parents that gave birth to twins had a 14 percent divorce rate. While the difference seems small, it is statistically significant.

Why do the parents of twins have a harder time keeping their marriage healthy? Researchers say that twins, especially in the first few years, add a larger amount of stress and fatigue to a relationship – stress that could easily affect a couple’s relations. Then, as the twins grow older, the financial stress of having two children of the same age increases.

Jena was careful to point out that the results of the study shouldn’t discourage parents from having twins, though he hopes that it increases awareness. If a couple goes into the experience of having twins understanding what a challenge it is and how important it is to keep a focus on their relationship, their chances of divorce will likely decrease.

The Effect Of The Recession On Marriage And Divorce

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

The National Marriage Project has released a new study that contains information regarding how couples across America weathered the recession. While a significant percentage of those surveyed reported that their marriages had suffered because of the financial stress of the recession, those without college degrees were at the highest risk for divorce because of the economic downturn.

The survey looked at just over 1,100 married couples and how their relationship changed over the two-year course of the recession. One-third of those surveyed said that their marriage was at a high risk of divorce throughout the recession due to added financial issues, while 38 percent of couples who were considering divorce delayed their plans because of the costs of divorce, including legal fees and establishing separate households. At the same time, about 30 percent of those questioned said that the struggle of the recession brought them closer to their spouse as both worked toward financial security in hard times.

It is normal in times of countrywide financial depressions to see higher rates of spousal abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, and desertion. However, the overall divorce rate usually drops during these times because couples are less likely to be able to afford a divorce and more likely to pool their resources to survive the hard times.

High percentages of those surveyed reported trouble paying their bills, trouble keeping their home, and joblessness. Those without college degrees struggled more than those with higher educations, and those who faced more serious financial stressors also reported more relationship stress.

Study: Happy Teens Divorce More Often As Adults

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study from the University of Cambridge has uncovered a wealth of information about what happens to happy teenagers when they grow up. Although happy teens are more likely to be happy as adults, keep in touch with family, excel at their jobs, and have an easy time making friends, they are also more likely to go through divorce.

The study, which was conducted at the Well-being Institute, has followed about 3,000 people over their lifetimes beginning in 1945. The children were asked about their happiness, energy, anger, depression, and relationships when they were teens and then again when they were adults.

Generally, happy teens turn into happy adults in most facets of life. Happy kids were more likely to develop into adults who had a decreased chance of mental health issues, who have more friends, and who have an increased feeling of self-worth. Oddly, though, happy children were more likely to experience a divorce.

Why are those with happy childhoods more likely to divorce when they are older? Researchers think that perhaps those with more secure teen years have higher self-esteems and have an easier time leaving unhealthy relationships or relationships that don’t increase their happiness. In addition, these historically happier people may have a better support network and an easier time leaving abusive situations with the help of friends and family.

It is important to note that despite the higher rate of divorces, those with happier childhoods continue to have happy and healthy adulthoods whether or not they end their marriage.

Domestic Violence Dispute Ends In Shooting In Lakewood, Washington

Sat, 19 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

A man involved in a domestic violence dispute shot and killed himself when confronted with police last week. According to the Seattle Times, the 35-year-old man had seriously injured his ex-wife before driving off in his car.

The Lakewood Police Department was called at about 10 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute between a 37-year-old woman and her partner. Police later learned that the couple had recently finalized a divorce and were still struggling with their relationship.

The police arrived at the scene of the domestic violence incident to find that the man had driven off in the car, leaving his badly hurt wife at the home. When he called the women, she allowed the police to talk to him. He returned to the home and parked in the street.

Moments later, a shot was fired inside the car. Police believe that the man shot himself. However, when movements were seen inside the car after the gunshot, police fired several shots into the car. An investigation is expected to reveal if the man did indeed take his own life or whether he was killed by an officer’s bullet. The officer that shot into the car is on paid leave during the investigation.

Police had been called to the home four times in the last year for domestic abuse-related reasons. The woman had a no-contact order that had been dismissed in September.

The woman was taken to a hospital for medical attention, while three children in the home were taken to a safe place.

Human Services Department Considers Changes To Domestic Violence Program

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

The new director of the Human Services Department in Seattle has suggested several large changes that would affect the city’s already-successful domestic violence program. While some believe that these changes will streamline the department and help with collaboration, others believe that the changes are not needed and could give domestic violence less attention than needed.

The new director, Dannette Smith, was put into place to save money in the department and “make taxpayer dollars go farther.” Smith formally ran a human services department on the country level in a different state. Her idea for Seattle’s department is to eliminate the position of director of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Prevention and place the entire division within another more general division of social services.

Many government officials worry that these large changes will take emphasis away from the domestic violence program. Smith says that the reorganization is a good way to save money and help the budget without actually cutting any domestic violence services.

Smith has been asked by the Seattle City Council to explain her reasons for reorganization and how the changes will not affect a program that is one of the best in the nation, according to social services advocates. She will also discuss how she believes this reorganization will result in a more holistic approach that will aid collaboration while also saving the city money.

King County fields more than 32,000 calls related domestic violence, spousal abuse, and protection orders each year.

Seattle Website: Divorce Inquiries Jump On Valentine's Day

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

According to a Seattle-based website that fields inquiring regarding divorce, Valentine’s day isn’t just for lovebirds – it’s also a popular time for couples to discuss divorce and look into the legal aspects of the divorce process.

The New York Post spoke to a website's representitive, which said that it sees a 40 percent increase in requests for divorce lawyers around February 14. At the same time, questions regarding the legal ins and outs of divorce increase by one-third.

What are the reasons for the Valentine’s Day increase? Family law attorneys believe there are several reasons that a couple may look into divorce in mid-February. In some cases, a couple may have been waiting out the winter holidays, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, which often involves family obligations and general full schedules. In other cases, people in unhappy marriages might be finally getting to their New Year’s resolution of ending an unhealthy relationship and moving on. In addition, tax season may also have an effect on the increased numbers – some couples wait for their tax refund check before taking the final step of getting a divorce lawyer.

Of course, some people may be affected by Valentine’s Day itself. Seeing so many confessions of love and so much romantic gift-giving can be difficult when you are not in a satisfying relationship, and seeing people celebrating their healthy relationships all around you may remind you that there could be a better life for you. Others may explore the idea of divorce after another Valentine’s Day in which their partner didn’t show their love or make an effort.

Experts: Women Face Tough Challenges After Divorce

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

While going through a divorce, many women can’t think of anything harder that they have done in their lives. But experts say that the toughest times for women lie in the months and years after a divorce takes place – when many women find themselves struggling with self-esteem, changes in finances, and re-entering the dating scene. While deciding to divorce can absolutely be the best decision for some women in the long run, the time right after a divorce can be a difficult period of transition.

In fact, one report from Marie Claire found that a women’s overall quality of life drops by almost half in the year after a divorce. Women are no longer part of a two-income household (or being supported by their husband’s income) and in many cases, they lose emotional support and time with their children. At the same time, many find themselves unsure of how to look for a new relationship or redefine themselves as single.

More specifically, studies have found that women struggle with mental illness more than their ex-spouses in the decade after a divorce. Another piece of research found that women often focus on getting a divorce without thinking about the financial aspects of post-divorce life, leading to several years of struggle immediately after a divorce is finalized.

What can women do to avoid these difficulties in the years following a divorce? Experts say that while the divorce process will always be hard for both men and women, women can help prevent some of the difficulties of post-divorce life by making a financial plan early and making sure that they have the emotional support and mental health resources that they may need during their life transition.

The Oscar Curse Confirmed: Female Winners More Likely To Divorce

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

For years, actresses have called it the “Oscar Curse” – you win best female performance in a leading role, and then your marriage falls apart. Now, a study has found that it’s not just in their heads: actresses who win an Academy Award are more likely to get divorced in the years after their trophy win than their male counterparts, and winning an Oscar is more troubling for your marriage than merely being nominated.

According to researchers at Carnegie Mellon and the University of Toronto, sixty percent of all women given a Best Actress nod experienced a divorce after the nomination, and those who won the award were 1.68 times more likely to get a divorce than the women they beat for the prize. There was not a significant difference found among Best Actor nominees and winners.

The study tracked Academy Award nominee divorces back to 1936.

What’s the reason for this trend? Unfortunately, the study’s findings echo other studies that examine higher divorce rates among successful women as well as divorce rates among women who make a significantly larger salary than their husband. Some marital experts believe that the success of powerful women can be hard on the self-esteem of their partners, and that women who enjoy financial success might demand greater equality when it comes to sharing household responsibilities such as cleaning and childcare. Of course, others believe that the “Oscar Curse” may also have something to do with the growing egos of the women who have been declared the best actress of the year.

Murdered Tacoma Woman Was Denied Protection Order In October

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Court records show that the Tacoma woman who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend had tried to secure a protection order against her former partner four months ago, but had her request denied.

According to the Seattle Times, 33-year-old Georgia Gunzer was stabbed to death in her Tacoma apartment by her ex-boyfriend, Alphonso Bell, who has been charged with murder. Gunzer’s body was discovered by her 10-year-old daughter, who was having a slumber party.

Gunzer was granted a temporary restraining order in October, but her permanent protection order was denied by Pierce County Court Commissioner Mark Gelman. An audio tape of the court hearing reveals that the protection order was denied because Gunzer visited Bell, a convicted felon, six times in prison. However, she also told the commissioner that Bell had physically abused her in the past and that she feared his coming release from jail.

Friends say that Bell felt the need to be nice to her ex-boyfriend since she did not have a protection order. Currently, friends of the domestic violence victim are working together to form a parenting plan for Gunzer’s daughter.

This latest family violence incident – the first homicide of 2011 in Washington State – certainly draws attention to the protection order system in the state as well as the overall effectiveness of protection orders. Many of those who work with domestic abuse victims say that escaping an abusive and violent relationship often takes much more than a legal order – it takes a network of supporters.

Myth: Super Bowl Sunday Leads To Violence Against Women

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

As Washington prepares for this year’s NFL Super Bowl, you might hear a familiar statistic: more American women are victims of domestic abuse on Super Bowl Sunday than on any other day of the year. There’s just one problem, though: it’s not true.

Researchers have followed this baffling fake statistic back to a conference that took place in 1993, where a study was construed to fit the needs of several women’s groups. The rumor spread quickly – a good example about how something that people want to believe will be assumed to be true. In fact, Super Bowl Sunday is not the biggest day of the year for violence against women, and domestic abuse is not tied to men who like to watch football games. While studies have found that the emergency room is a bit busier on the days of big football games, the reasons have more to do with more parties, more activities, and more alcohol consumption than with spousal abuse.

Domestic violence is an extremely important issue that should not be taken lightly – and when discussing the issue, there is no room for anecdotal evidence or plain old fabrications. The truth is, men don’t take in the physical aggression of a football game and become physically violent with their wives – domestic abuse is a much more complex and troubling occurrence that often involves a history of violence, substance abuse issues, and even mental health issues.

Let’s stop domestic violence misinformation now. If you hear the domestic violence Super Bowl statistic, speak up and let everyone know that it’s plainly not true. And while you’re at it, let them know that while game day isn’t a particularly bad day for battered women, millions of men and women around the country are victims of family violence each year.

New Study Connects Shortened Marriages And Alcoholism

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

For years, researchers have consistently linked alcoholism and alcohol dependence with divorce. Now a new study has found that men and women with alcohol dependence wait until later in life to marry and also get divorced more often and sooner than those who do not struggle with substance abuse.

The study followed about 5,000 twins born between 1940 and 1964 through their first marriage. The results found that both men and women who were alcoholics had much shorter marriages than those who were not, and that those with a history of alcohol dependence in their families also had shorter marriages that ended in separation and divorce. Not only did couples with a history of alcohol dependence separate earlier, they also got married later than those without alcohol consumption issues. Both of these factors lead to significantly abbreviated marriages for alcoholics.

While the researchers focused on correlation rather than causation, many marriage experts say that alcoholism and alcohol dependence can lead to job loss, financial stresses, increased rates of domestic violence, and medical issues – all enormous marriage stressors that can lead to divorce. In addition, alcoholics often engage in destructive and disruptive behavior that can end relationships, such as deception, stealing, secrecy, emotional withdrawal, and isolation. Finally, alcohol use can also be a red flag of other psychological problems or past trauma that can add stress to marriage, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, or sexual abuse.

Washington Post: More Choosing Plastic Surgery After Divorce

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

It’s normal to make big life changes in the wake of a divorce – many people choose to switch careers, travel, or start a new hobby. However, a new report from the Washington Post says that a significant number recent divorcees also decide to change their look – permanently. According to many plastic surgery doctors, many men and women turn to cosmetic surgery either during or after a divorce.

Why are so many people opting for tummy tucks, face lifts, and breast augmentations after their marriage ends? One plastic surgeon said that many people just want to feel better about themselves at such a big juncture in their lives. While some are calling it “vengeance surgery,” and while some do admit to making themselves look better in order to make their former spouse feel bad, most are simply doing what is best for them for a change and making a statement as they come to a crossroad in their life.

One plastic surgeon, who offers a cosmetic surgery divorce package to those ending bad marriages, says that while opting to go under the knife is more popular for women after a breakup, about thirty percent of his divorcee clients are male. Another surgeon notes that many are preparing their often-older bodies for the prospect of going back onto the market and starting to date again.

What do relationship experts think of this trend? One offered his simple piece of advice: the time after a divorce is a time to think about what is best for you and what you want to do. Although a cosmetic surgery might not help you find companionship in the wake of a divorce, a surgery could give you a boost in confidence.

Could Reading Your Spouse's Emails Land You In Jail?

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Does reading your spouse’s emails make you a snoop or a hacker? While some simply see internet snooping on a husband or wife as a rude invasion of privacy, one man in Michigan is facing felony charges after he clicked around in his wife’s email account.

According to national news sources, 33-year-old Leon Walker is facing felony computer misuse charges after he read and distributed emails from his wife’s gmail account. Walker says that his wife left her password laying around the house and that when he read the emails in her folder, he discovered that she was likely having an affair with her second husband, who had been previously accused of domestic violence against his wife in front of his stepson. The man then printed the emails and gave them to her first husband, the father of the wife’s son.

While the case has yet to go to court, many attorneys have already spoken out on the felony charges – which were put in place to prevent identity theft and trade secret stealing. Many argue that you give up much of your privacy when you enter into a marriage, while others are quick to point out that Walker did not hack into a stranger’s computer – he shared the computer with his wife and did not force his way into her email account.

Walker was arrested for reading his wife’s emails in February 2009 and is due in court next month. Walker and his wife Clara are now divorced.

Washington Study: International Custody Laws Don't Consider Domestic Abuse

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

A new study conducted in part by the University of Washington in Seattle has found that batter women escaping abusive international relationships often lose custody of their children to their violent and abusive husbands.

According to the study, the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, an international treaty that covers world-wide custody laws, does not take domestic violence and domestic abuse into consideration when deciding child custody across country borders. Now, especially as multiple studies have confirmed the harmful effects of domestic abuse on children, many family law experts are calling for changes to the Hague treaty that make certain that children are in the safest and healthiest environment possible.

Specifically, the study found that in half the cases in which an abused mother returned from abroad to the United States with her children, the children were returned overseas to their fathers despite any history of abuse. The study conducted in-depth interviews with 22 mothers and 23 domestic violence lawyers who represented them in their child custody cases. Despite sometimes shocking cases of domestic violence, including verbal threats, physical abuse, gun violence, and rape, half the women lost their children to their husband or their husband’s family, while some even faced kidnapping charges. Many mentioned that they could not find or utilize domestic violence resources in the countries where they had moved with their husbands.

The child custody study was co-authored by Taryn Lindhorst, University of Washington associate professor of social work.

Washington Post: Children Of Divorce Pay More For College Education

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorcing parents have long asked, what long-term effects will divorce have on my children? Now, a new study shows that one notable disadvantage the children of divorced parents may have has to do with college funding.

Researchers Ruth N. López Turley and Matthew Desmond recently published a new article in the Journal of Family Issues that found that the children of divorcees receive less financial support from their parents than the children of married couples. In fact, divorced parents contributed 1/3 less money towards college than married parents, leaving their children to pick up a larger remainder of the bill. Parents who remain together give their children an average of $4,700 for college per year, while divorced parents give their children an average of $1,500 annually. Parents who have been divorced but have since remarried contribute an average of $2,500 per year.

The research, which used data from the National Postsecondary Student Aid Study in the 1995-1996 academic year, found that the children of divorced parents are responsible for about 58 percent of their college costs, while the children of married parents only need to contribute 23 percent of the costs of their higher education. Children with remarried parents must front 47 percent of their college costs. The authors of the study believe that the main reason for this difference is simply that divorced couples make less than married couples who are able to split bills and pool resources. However, the researchers note that although remarried parents made the same amount of money as those who stayed married, they still contributed less to the college educations of children of past marriages.

What can divorcing parents do to stop this trend? Make sure that you and your spouse discuss college savings, no matter how old your children are now.

Child Support Payments Drop For First Time In 34 Years

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

For the first time since records began being kept in 1976, the amount of money received by children through child support payments has dropped. In 2009, $26.4 billion in child support payments were made across the country, a 0.07 percent drop since 2008 and the first drop ever recorded in over three decades. While the data has not been completely compiled yet for 2010, officials also believe that the drop in child support payments will continue.

Family law experts and economists believe that the drop in child support payments is the result of several different factors, but that the root cause of all of these factors is the recent recession. First and foremost, the poor job market means that more people who owe child support are without work and unable to make payments. At the same time, this means that the Washington State government is unable to garnish wages from paychecks. While unemployment checks can still be garnished by up to 25 percent, children still see smaller checks and less support when their parents lose jobs.

In other cases, some parents who have managed to keep their jobs are simply seeing less work and smaller paychecks – which can translate into smaller child support payments. In 2009, thousands of those struggling with unemployment or a drop in wages returned to court to request reductions in child support payments.

The average monthly child support payment in the United States in 2009 was $250.

Study: Middle Class Is Saying "No" To Marriage

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Is the middle class saying no to marriage because of the fear of an expensive or complicated divorce? According to a new study conducted by the National Marriage Project, that could be the case. While divorce rates are holding steady for those in the middle class, new numbers show that many are choosing to live together and have children without legally tying the knot.

In the 1970s, 13 percent of women who held a high school degree (but not a college degree) had children outside of marriage. Today, 44 percent of those women are starting families. In many cases, the father is present, and in half of the cases, the family lives together but simply doesn’t say, “I do.”

What is the reason for this turn away from marriage in the middle class? Researches say that many of the couples surveyed didn’t see a reason to marry, especially after seeing the painful and expensive divorces of the parents or other family members. Others say that, despite the greater cost of having a child, they don’t have the money to get married in the way that they had envisioned it. Experts also say that since wages are now lower, couples are waiting for a better financial situation generally before they take their marriage vows – and that in some cases an unemployed spouse can seem like poor marriage material in the long run.

While some say that fewer marriages in the middle class don’t have a larger affect on the state of families, others point out that couples who do not marry before having children are twice as likely to separate before their child is five years old.

Divorce Rates Drop For The College Educated

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

The National Marriage Project has released their annual study on marriage, The State of Our Unions 2010, with some surprising results. One of the most interesting numbers? While divorce rates are up very slightly from the 1970s for those who hold high school diplomas (from 36 percent to 37 percent) the divorce rate among college-educated couples has dropped by four percent, from 15 percent to 11 percent.

At the same time, those with college degrees continue to have very low rates of birth outside of marriage, with six percent of those with higher degrees having children outside of wedlock. As a contrast, 44 percent of moderately educated parents are having children without saying vows – even though about have of those families live together.

Those with college educations also report being in happier marriages and to be more satisfied than those with high school educations. Specifically, women at the age of forty with college educations were more likely to be married, more likely to have children in wedlock, and happier with their relationship than those with fewer years of schooling.

Experts speculate that those with more education wait later to choose a partner, get married, and start families – another choice that has been associated with successful marriages. In addition, those with college educations often have higher incomes and face fewer financial challenges. A number of divorce studies have found that money worries and fights about finances is one of the leading causes of divorce.

New Companies Are Investing In Divorce

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

It’s not news that some try to profit from other’s divorces, but now investment firms have found a new and innovative way to make money from other people’s failed unions. A number of new businesses have started up recently that lend money to unhappily married spouses and charge a percentage of the divorce case winnings as a fee.

Who can these businesses help? In many cases, they take on those who don’t have the money to fight for their half of their marriages assets in the divorce – in many cases women who don’t have access to funds or don’t have the power to fight against their husband’s more expensive legal teams.

While some say that these companies are taking advantage of what has traditionally been a personal and emotional process, others, like the owner of a new divorce investment business Stacey Napp, believe that they are giving women a chance to fight for what they deserve by offering them a level playing field to get their half of the pie. In Napp’s mind, she is helping the underdog who might otherwise be treated unfairly in court. Napp just recently finished an eight-year battle with her ex-husband for her fair share of his mobile home business – all funded with the help of family and friends.

Napp told The New York Times that her first handful of clients fit the profile of many wives that get an unfair shake in divorce court: they don’t have jobs, they are raising young children, and their husbands own businesses that make it hard to determine the family’s net worth.

Study: Kids Of Divorce Have Greater Lifetime Risk For Stroke

Sun, 05 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Researchers are still trying to determine what the effects of divorce on children are, and whether those effects are lessening as divorce becomes less stigmatized. Most recently a study was released that showed that children of divorce are twice as likely to suffer from a stroke during their lifetime.

The study was conducted at the University of Toronto, which studied 13,000 people, ten percent of which had experienced a parental divorce when they were children. Two percent of participants had suffered a stroke. The results were presented formally at the Gerontological Society of America's annual meeting.

The researchers who conducted the study say that preliminary results may suggest that children who went through divorce may have difficult dealing with stress throughout the rest of their lives. However, they also pointed out that people who are having strokes now experienced divorces in the 1930s and 1940s, a time when divorce was much rarer and much different than it is today. Children were not likely to get therapy or support back then, and many divorces during that time were also connected with domestic violence or other extreme conditions.

Critics of the study say that the research should be replicated several times in order to confirm the results. Other critics say that that a study also needs to be conducted regarding the rate of strokes among people who grew up in households with unhappily married parents. However, all researchers agree that the study starts an important conversation on the psychological affects of divorce on children and raises new questions regarding divorce and child development to be studied in the future.

Study: 40 Percent Of Americans Say Marriage Is Obsolete

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

According to a new study released by Pew Research Center and published by TIME Magazine, four out of ten Americans now believe that marriage is obsolete. This number is significantly higher than in past years, and certainly reflects the changing demographics regarding marriage and family in the United States today. Thirty years ago, 28 percent of Americans believed that marriage was becoming obsolete.

Also according to the study, 30 percent of children under the age of 18 live with a parent who is not married, with half of the children living with a parent who is divorced and half living with a parent who has never been married. Six percent of children live in two-parent homes in which the couple has never married.

The Pew study polled almost 2,700 Americans over the phone during the month of October.

The same survey also found that the definition of family is changing to be more inclusive and less traditional. The majority of responders said that an unmarried couple with children is a family, while a small majority also agreed that a same-sex couple with children was a family.

The question remains, why do an increasing number of people believe that marriage is obsolete? Experts believe that the younger generation has more lax and progressive views about relationships, family structure, and love. In addition, they say, the economy has a lot to do with couples choosing to live together but not marry. All in all, a little less than half of those polled who were currently unmarried wanted to get married in the future.

A Bad Year For The Stars: 2010 Celebrity Divorces

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

While the divorce rate in the United States is uncomfortably high in general, the divorce rate for Hollywood stars and other celebrities is significantly higher. In fact, a study of celebrities that have won Golden Globe awards revealed that only 35 percent of celebrity unions are successful in the long run.

Which starts split in 2010?

•    Actress Chalize Theron and Irish movie director Stuart Townsend ended their nine-year relationship after Theron reportedly felt that they were more like brother and sister.
•    Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock and reality TV show star Jesse James divorced after five years and while in the middle of the adoption process. The divorce took place after James admitted several extramarital affairs.
•    Actress Kate Winslet and film director Sam Mendes ended their marriage after seven years when both mutually agreed to end their relationship. They now share custody of their son.
•    Golf superstar Tiger Woods and model Elin Nordegren ended their relationship after six years when sources revealed a large number of Woods’ affairs during his marriage.
•    Former Vice President Al Gore and long-time wife Tipper Gore ended their marriage after four decades together. The high school sweethearts told the media that they had grown apart and that the decision was mutual.
•    Actor George Lopez and wife Ann ended their marriage after 17 years together. During the marriage, Ann even gave George one of her kidneys.
•    Pop start Christina Aguilera and husband music executive John Bratman legally separated after five years of marriage. The couple says both will stay committed to their 2-year-old son Max.

More Divorcing Couples Turning To Mediation During Recession

Sun, 28 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

Recently we shared some not-so-surprising statistics with you: in the last three years, as a large majority of the country struggled with job loss, housing troubles, and a poor economy, fewer and fewer couples have decided to file for divorce. Unfortunately, the reason isn’t that tough financial times brings us together, it is that divorces can be costly for both parties.

However, though fewer couples are deciding to end their marriages because of the financial implications, more couples are turning to divorce mediation as a way to save money while still having the option to sever ties and move on with their lives. In fact, some mediators are reporting significant increases in divorce mediation cases even as the divorce rates dip by double-digits in many states.

According to mediators, divorce mediation can save both time and money – but only if both parties are willing to communicate, compromise, and listen to each other. By working together, couples not only have an opportunity to establish their new, non-romantic relationship with each other, but they can also get the divorce that they both want without shelling out extra money for a complicated court case.

Mediators also say that, especially during tough economic times, the privacy that comes with divorce mediation can help keep their money matters private. Settling matters with a mediator can prevent a public fight for property and assets – or a public fight regarding debts.

As always, mediators stress that divorce mediation can be a blessing to many, but not for all. If your marriage involves domestic abuse, violence, addiction, or mental health issues, it is best not to choose this option. In addition, mediation is extremely difficult or impossible if one or both parties are unable or unwilling to work toward a resolution.

Study: Prenuptial Agreements Becoming More Common

Thu, 25 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

A new study released by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reveals that prenuptial agreements and divorce insurance are gaining popularity among newlyweds across the country. According to the study’s results, 73 percent of family lawyers have seen an increase in demand for prenuptial agreements. Perhaps the most surprising finding is that divorce insurance is not just becoming more popular for upper-class couples with significant property and assets, it is also more common in middle-class unions. The reason? Many couples want to avoid taking responsibility for their spouse’s debt in the event of a divorce.

Family law experts say that these changes make good sense. With the onset of the recession in 2008, many people are much more aware of their financial situation and will go further to protect their assets even when it comes to marriage. In addition, experts say, more people are waiting until later in life when they are married – and when they have already accumulated significant wealth (or debt) as an individual. Finally, many couples are more aware these days that no matter how happy you are when you decide to get married, a significant number of unions will ultimately end in divorce.

The study also noted that some are using divorce insurance and prenuptial agreements in order to protect retirement savings or family inheritance from their partner in the case of a divorce.

It is also important to note that financial issues continue to be a top reason for divorce in the United States and that one of the most common reasons to file for bankruptcy is divorce.

Federal Way Man Falsely Claiming To Be Family Law Attorney

Sun, 21 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

According to the stories of multiple Washington State families, Arnie Newman of Federal Way is making false claims about practicing family law and stealing money from those who are simply looking for legal help regarding their divorce case, child custody case, child support issues, or divorce mediation.

The man, who also goes by several other fake names such as Michael Leonard, is not a lawyer and does not run a business that is licensed in Washington State. However, he does advertise a number of family law services under the website PAPA, Parents Against Parental Alienation. Tragically, his victims soon discover that he will take their money and then cut off all communication – without ever helping your case.

One Snoqualmie man who contacted Newman from the PAPA website ended up sending him $3,500 in cash in exchange for help with his child support payment legal issues that he was struggling with as an unemployed divorced father. Another Washington Woman, Trudy Fritz of Pasco, needed help updating her parenting plan five years after a contentious divorce with her husband. She, too, wrote a check for $3,500 and then never heard from Newman again and never received legal help.

Shockingly, a reporter from KIRO 7 Eyewitness News even found that Newman himself has never paid the child support that he owes his own children.

What is being done about Newman and his illegal business practices? Right now, nothing. Currently, he is not under investigation and no charges have been filed.

Living Together Before Marriage Is More Common Today Than Ever

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 08:00:00 EST

For many years, living together before marriage was not only considered inappropriate, it was also considered to lead to unsuccessful marriages and early divorce according to counselors and other family experts. But now those same experts say that due to cultural shifts and changes in tradition, living in sin before marriage no longer affects the couple’s long-term chances for divorce.

In fact, according to one sociologist who studies cohabitation before marriage, the link between divorces and living together before marriage has steadily weakened over time. At the same time, more and more couples are choosing to live together before tying the knot.

Of course, experts also agree that couples should be moving in together for the right reasons. While couples thirty years ago might have been moving in together because of the hippie cultural movement, today more couples are moving in to take their commitment to a higher level. Others, though, are choosing to cohabitate in order to get through tough economic times. While those who move in together often choose marriage in the future, it seems that those who move in together because of unemployment or a bad financial situation are more likely to continue to live together and remain unmarried. In Europe, it is increasingly popular for couples to spend their whole lives together without ever officially tying the knot.

Many also add that the popularity of living together before marriage is tied with the changing average age that adults marry in the United States – it is now 26 for women and 28 for men.

Divorce Rates Drop, But Marriage Rates Are Dropping, Too

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

The divorce rate has been steadily dropping for a number of years now in the United States – but the rate of marriages is dropping too. Perhaps, many family studies experts say, fewer people are getting divorced because they never got married in the first place.

According to the Huffington Post, couples today are less likely to get married early, more likely to live together for years before tying the knot, and more likely to wait until their late 30s to wed. According to the National Center for Marriage and Family Research, those who finish college are more likely to get married later in life and stay married, while those with high school educations are more likely to cohabitate and never get married to the partners at all.

One of the reasons for this “retreat from marriage” is the economy, family studies experts say. While marriage can save money in the long run, many couples are postponing an official commitment as weddings, rings, and honeymoons are expensive. Others are pooling their resources by moving in together and sharing expenses without ever tying the knot. Just as many people are putting off official divorces during the recession to save money, many may also be delaying wedding bells.

Some worry that fewer marriages will not be good for the culture or for society – as healthy marriages improve quality of life, health, and success. Others say that this is a natural change that does not reflect the number of healthy, long-term relationships in the country. Still others believe that it is a simple result of tough economic times instead of a larger trend.

Could Your Occupation Increase Your Chance For Divorce?

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Does what you do for a job affect your relationship? Or does the career you choose say something about how successful your marriage will be? A new study published in the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology and conducted by professor Michael Aamodt of Radford University has found that there are some occupations that can lead to divorce more often than others. For example, while a professional dancer has a shockingly high rate of divorce, an engineer has a surprisingly low rate of divorce.

The study, which examined almost 450 different occupations covered in the 2000 Census, finds that our working lives can indeed affect our personal lives – especially if we are a bartender, a massage therapist, or a telemarketer. While the study did not say why these professions most often led to divorce, there were some patterns: many of the jobs linked with high divorce rates involved the arts, long hours, odd hours, or stress. On the other hand, careers like engineering and law enforcement showed below-average rates of divorce.

The top ten worst jobs for divorce, which saw divorce rates of 35 to 40 percent, included choreographers, casino workers, telephone operators, nurses, and factory workers. The top ten best jobs for marriage included optometrists, engineers, podiatrists, and those in the clergy.

Of course, those who conducted the study were sure to say that being in a certain profession or career won’t doom your marriage – and that perhaps this new information will help those with certain jobs to better recognize how much of their occupation they take home with them.

Read a complete list of the top 15 careers that have been linked with divorce here.

Study: Divorce More Likely If One Spouse Withdraws During Arguments

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

A new study released by the Journal of Marriage and Family in October focuses on how and when couples fight – and how that data could shed light on successful marriages and the divorce rate.

The study, which was conducted by family studies professor Kira Birditt at the University of Michigan, found that while the amount of fighting is not helpful in determining whether or not a couple will divorce, the way that each person approaches fighting can better tell us whether or not their union will last.

The study followed all of the couples who were married in Wayne County in 1986. Over the next 16 years, the couples were followed and interviewed regularly. Many of the interview questions regarded how a couple fought – for example, whether there was shouting, name-calling, or withdrawing during arguments. At the same time, both spouses were asked to reflect on their own behavior, such as whether or not they listened during arguments.

The findings showed that if two people in a couple argue in two different ways – or if one spouse fails to learn how to communicate effectively during a marriage, the couple may have a greater chance of divorce down the road. Couples in which both spouses learned over the years to be more calm and understanding had a better chance of sticking together.

Overall, 13.9% of couples divorced by the three-year mark, 29% had divorced by year seven and 46.1% were split by year 16.

King County Plans Major Cuts To Domestic Violence Support Funding

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Still struggling with worsening budget issues, King County has made the move to cut all of its funding of domestic violence and sex crime abuse victims. These two programs are the last two human services left that receive money from the county’s general fund – as all other programs had been cut earlier as Seattle grapples with ongoing financial problems.

According to King 5 News, the proposed cut would drop Seattle’s spending on domestic violence 82 percent and drop the Seattle’s spending on sexual assault and other sex crimes by 68 percent. Many worry that these cuts will leave domestic violence victims – many of them children – without support, help, or guidance in the wake of domestic abuse. Mary Ellen Stone, Executive Director of the King County Sexual Assault Resource Center, warned that the cuts would mean more women without counseling, more women without homes or jobs, and more women forced to stay with their abusers. At the same time, domestic violence and sexual assault criminals could remain free if women do not have the ability or resources to successfully prosecute.

Before the budgeting problems began to plague King County in 2007, $21 million of the county’s general funds went toward human services programs, such as domestic violence programs, sexual abuse programs, drug addiction programs, and mental health programs. If the proposed cuts go through, none of these programs will be left.

Stacey Caves, a Seattle resident, was in an abusive relationship for seven years before she got her and her kids out with the help of King County domestic abuse resources. She believes that she and her three boys could have been homeless or dead without the help of the women’s shelter that took her in.

Study: Happy Couples Mirror Each Other's Speech & Writing

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:00:00 EST

Just weeks after one study found that couples who fight in the same way are less likely to divorce, a second study has found the healthy couples often mimicked the way that each other talks, moves, and writes. That’s right: when you see a couple at a party that uses the same phrases, sounds alike, and makes the same movements, it may seem off-putting, but it may be one way they stay together.

Researchers who conducted the study looked at a wide range of subjects – from college students to famous literary couples such as Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. Couples that fared better used the same language and phrasing, while those who did not had relationships that ultimately didn’t work out. Some researchers believe that this pattern holds true because couples in successful relationship often have similar backgrounds, educations, and interests that would cause then to use the same speaking patterns. Other family studies experts believe that healthy couples learn to mirror and mimic behaviors over the years as a show of support, understanding, and successful communication.

Of course, the study only correlates mimicking behavior – it does not assign a cause. It is unclear whether couples who sound alike or write alike are initially attracted to each other or whether successful couples begin to take on each other’s communication styles over time. Either way, the study certainly puts doubt on the old theory that opposites attract.

When A Parent Moves, Virtual Visitation Could Be A New Option

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

Child custody cases can be difficult for both parents and children – and they only get more complicated when one parent needs to move hundreds or even thousands of miles away. However, new technology, such as video conferencing, video chatting, and Skype, is giving parents and judges more options when it comes to making fair child custody decisions that keep the best interests of the children in mind.

Recently, one judge heard the child custody case Baker vs. Baker, in which the mother and two children in questions were moving over 1,000 miles after a house went into foreclosure. After hearing the case, the father was given three visits with his two children each week – using video chat.

The judge said that Skype video conferencing was not necessarily the right decision for all child custody situations, but that it can help make decisions more fair, especially in situations were a parent is moving more than 100 miles away from their ex-spouse. There are a number of reasons that a parent is permitted to move away or out of state, but not many tools judges have to make these moves fairer for the other spouse. New technology, including video chatting, can help keep families together even after big moves.

The judge also said that virtual visitation was in no way a substitute for actual visitations or for real parenting time – but only that it could help supplement other visitations, especially in cases where one parent moving away from the other is justified and beneficial to the children.

Marriages Can Suffer From Adult ADHD & Attention Disorders

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

While many people are familiar of the signs and symptoms of ADHD in children, a much smaller number of people know that an estimated four percent of adults suffer from attention deficit problems and disorders – mental health issues that could affect their marriages.

The symptoms of attention disorders in adults can just look like a poor spouse to many: they are forgetful, they have trouble listening, and they are easily distracted. It’s no surprise that a few initial studies have found that adults with ADHD are more likely to get divorced and that 60 percent of couples that struggle with attention deficit disorders have relationships that are in distress.

A new book on the subject, “The ADHD Effect on Marriage,” by author Melissa Orlov, said that her husband’s attention deficit disorder led to anger and resentment before he was diagnosed and treated. In many cases, she said, the spouse without the attention disorder is left with too much responsibility and too many chores. At the same time, the spouse struggling with ADHD might not even be aware of his or her mistakes. These problems can become even worse if the couple is raising children or if the couples has to face a challenge together.

Orlov added that even couples that discover that ADHD is affecting their marriage still have work ahead of them – both to better understand the condition and to get over the years of anger or resentment that built before the diagnosis was made. Therapy and communication are key even after a diagnosis and medical treatment.

The More Daughters, The More Likely A Divorce?

Thu, 09 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

Can the gender of your children predict whether or not your marriage will end in divorce? Several studies have found that the more female children you have, the more likely you will divorce, but no one is sure why this phenomenon takes place.

In 2003, researchers found that having a baby girl increases divorce rates by five percent – and that each baby after the initial baby will either increase or decrease your chance of divorce by five percent depending on the sex of the baby. That is a family with three girls is 15 percent more likely to divorce, whereas a family of three boys is 15 percent less likely to divorce.

While most economists agree on the findings, many disagree on why this pattern occurs. A popular theory is that men are more likely to stay to raise a son than to raise a daughter and that men prefer sons to daughters generally. Others say that boys are easier to raise than girls and cause less tension in the marriage.

However, a new theory keeps in mind another statistic: that women initiate 75 percent of divorces. In this case, researchers say, women might leave men more often when they have female children. This may be because they do not feel that girls need a male role model as much as boys do or because female children will be easier to raise as a single mom. This theory also keeps into mind a recent study that shows having boys increases a parent’s chore burden while having girls cuts down on household work over time.

Your Voice Can Tell The Story Of How You Are Coping With Divorce

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

How easy is it for your friends and family to tell how well you are dealing with your recent divorce? A new study conducted at the University of Arizona has found that most people can tell how you are feeling after only listening to a 30-second recording of your voice as you talk about how you feel. In fact, study participants who heard the voice of the divorcee talking could better understand how they were feeling than those who read transcripts of what was said.

The study, which was funded by grants from the National Institute on Aging and the National Institute of Mental Health, let complete strangers listen the stream-of consciousness thoughts and feelings of those going through divorce. Surprisingly, even small snippets of these thoughts were needed for others to determine how they were coping with their life change.

Researchers say that the study will help us learn how best to interact with loved ones, friends, or colleagues who are going through a separation or divorce – that many times, how they say something will be more important than what they are saying. The best course of action, they say, is to be in tune to how your friend might be feeling and let those feelings guide what your friend needs from your during their tough transition. It may be that your friend or family member is trying to tell you that they need to talk or that they need more support.

Divorces Rates Fell In 2009 – Change Could Be Caused By Weak Economy

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EST

The divorce rate fell in 2009 – and many think that the change in rate could be due to the continuing weak economy. In the states that reported their 2009 divorce rate, the number fell from 3.5 divorces per 1,000 people in the United States to 3.4 divorces per 1,000 people. In 2007, the divorce rate was 3.6 divorces per 1,000 people.

The rate of marriages and the rate of births also went down in 2009, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, leading experts to believe that the economy was stopping Americans from going through these three live experiences at normal rates.

First and foremost, divorces can be expensive, and many couples who want to legally end their relationship may be waiting for the economy to improve or may be waiting for more financial security before calling their divorce lawyers and going through with the process. Other couples may be struggling to keep their house or find themselves with an underwater mortgage – two factors that would make divorcing financially difficult and logistically more difficult. Still other couples may be dealing with unemployment or a smaller salary, two factors that would convince couples to stay together until one or both found work or made enough to support themselves.

Of course, others note that the divorce rate has been dropping steadily even before the economic downturn, and could simply be part of a continuing trend of better marriages. Since the surge in the divorce rate in the 1970s, more people are waiting longer before getting married and making better decisions both before and after deciding to tie the knot. Still, the depressed economy could also be having an effect on those who want to move on or those who simply grew apart.

Study: Bad Economy And Job Loss Exacerbates Domestic Violence

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

A new study has found that domestic abuse rates increase during times of financial stress – with couples experiencing three times more domestic violence during tough financial times. The study also found that domestic violence rates increase 117 percent from 2008 to 2009, during the economic downturn.

While the study’s researchers were quick to say that financial stress doesn’t directly cause violence and abuse in families, they did conclude that it often exacerbates existing problems – and than many domestic abuse victims have an even harder time leaving their intimate partner if they don’t have the funds to do so or the ability to secure a job.

The study focused on families that had been faced with unemployment within the last five months, and the majority of domestic violence victims interviewed cited stress and job loss as major factors in their abuse. But while domestic abuse shelters say that they have had an increase in victims who need support, law enforcement says that their number of domestic disturbance calls have not gone up. They say that while economic problems could spark an act of domestic violence, it is usually not the core problem. Instead, drinking and drugs are often problems, as are those with a history of violence and abuse.

As for officials and lawmakers, many are concerned with the new information that a bad economy can affect the rate of domestic abuse. Especially because many state governments are also suffering from financial problems, lawmakers wonder how domestic violence shelters and other resources for abused spouses will handle the extra need.

Divorce And Property: Who Gets The Dog?

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

While many people understand how painful it is to divide property and decide on child custody during a divorce, for many, letting go of a beloved family pet can also be very painful.

That was certainly the case for Gail Myers, a woman who said that since she didn’t have children, her dog Lucky meant the world to her. But when she and her husband of eight years decided to separate, both wanted to keep the small lapdog. Since dogs are seen as property – and certainly not as a child – the fight over the dog didn’t have a good solution. The Judge in charge of the no contest divorce decided, however, to treat the dog as an emotional object – and gave the divorcing couple joint custody of the animal. Gail now gets the dog six months out of the year while her ex-husband gets him for the other six months. Any vet bills are split, and if either party wants to give up custody, they can head back to court.

However, this odd court decision is not common. In most cases, a pet will continue to be seen as joint personal property and if there is an argument regarding the dog’s future, it should be sold, which each person taking half of the proceeds.

What did the judge in the Myers case have to say? “It was very clear that both of them love this dog equally,” the judge said. “The only fair thing to do was to give each one an equal chance to share in the love of the dog.”

Molly B Kenny on Fox 13: Facebook Updates in Seattle Divorce Cases

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

Molly Kenny, a Seattle divorce attorney, was recently featured in a segment on KCPQ Fox 13 in Seattle that shows how attorneys can use opposing parties' Facebook status updates, photos, and other updates in divorce cases.

According to the segment, a national survey shows that 4 out of 5 divorce attorneys have seen a significant spike in social media site updates being used as evidence in divorce cases.

Facebook.com is a "gold mine of information", and cheaper and more effective than hiring a private investigator, according to Kenny.

Molly goes on to explain that many inidividuals in Seattle divorce cases who are trying to convince a judge that they are not mentally or financially stable enough to take care of themselves or their siblings can hurt their credibility by posting updates on Facebook (specifically) that contradict their statements.

"Spouses may tell a judge about being depressed, but then contradict themselves by posting pictures of themselves at a wild party. Or let's say you don't have enough money to support yourself or your child, and then you have pictures of yourself on a two-week trip to Hawaii? Something's a miss there."

The segment went on to explain that, while Seattle is a no-fault state that allows residents to divorce without reason, Facebook evidence does come into play when trying to prove someone's mental or financial state of being.

You can view the entire segment here:

About Molly:

Molly B. Kenny is a Seattle divorce attorney who was recently featured in Seattle Met Magazine as one of the top divorce attorneys in the State of Washington.

If you'd like more information on how she can help you with your divorce, child custody, or other type of family law question(s), feel free to contact her for a free and discreet consultation or call her at (206) 381-0100.

Some Are Choosing Separation But Not Divorce

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

Why do some people choose to stay in the gray area between marriage and divorce? According to a recent feature article in the New York Times, a small number of couples choose to physically separate but legally stay married.

Experts say that the reason that many choose to stay legally married is financial – couples who can’t afford to sell their home in a down market or who can’t afford to live separately might stay together. In another case, a couple might stay together to keep health benefits for the spouse even though they live in different apartments. Still others might not get divorced to benefit from tax breaks and other perks given to married couples.

Other types of couples may simply stay separated but not divorced because they don’t see a reason to go through the process – if neither plans to marry again, they may simply want to avoid the costs and time that goes into legally ending their marriage.

Of course, those who choose not to divorce often find themselves in tough positions – many are faced with questions from friends and relatives, while others face a difficult position when one or both parties begin to seriously date again. Separating but not getting a divorce also is very financially risky – a partner who you no longer live with can still ruin your finances or put you into debt. On the other hand, if you gain assets, your partner could still legally take half. Finally, if you remain separated but not divorced into death, you can leave a complicated and difficult situation for your children or relatives.

Seattle Domestic Violence Suspect Threatens Police With Jeep

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

A Seattle Police officer was almost run over with a Jeep while pursuing a man suspected of domestic violence in Washington State this week. According to the Seattle Times, police responded to a call made by a 31-year-old woman claiming that she and her partner had had a domestic dispute. By the time officers arrived at the residence, located in the 6300 block of 22nd Avenue Southwest, the man has taken the couple’s year-and-a-half-old son and fled the crime scene.

The Seattle woman involved in the domestic abuse incident was not injured.

Seattle Police soon found the man at a nearby convenience store, purchasing goods with his 18-month old son unrestrained in the front seat. When police confronted the man and asked him to put his hands above his head, he got in the car and attempted to run over one of the officers, who jumped out of the way. The incident took place at the parking lot of the 7-Eleven in the 4300 block of Southwest Admiral Way. Although the offices attempted to follow the vehicle, they did not want to chase the car because of the safety of the child. The Jeep was later found abandoned in a nearby alley.

Although Washington police do not believe that the child is in danger, they are seeking any information that citizens have about the suspect. He is a 27-year-old Caucasian, approximately 5’10” and 250 pounds with a long ponytail. He was last seen wearing a white tank top.

Before Seattle Domestic Violence Trial, Hill Faces New Investigation

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 08:00:00 EST

Just as the Seahawks prepare for a new season of NFL football, and just days before his domestic violence case goes to trial, professional football linebacker Leroy Hill of Seattle is facing new allegations of witness intimidation and witness tampering.

Although Hill was ordered by a King County judge not to contact the alleged victim of domestic abuse, his girlfriend, documents filed at the King County Court said that he had initiated contact with the woman several times. Police said that they confirmed the illegal witness contact both with Sprint phone records and GPS information.

The incident of Seattle domestic abuse took place in April at the couple’s Issaquah home. Washington Police say that the couple began arguing about possibly infidelity by Hill. Hill then grabbed the woman by the ponytail and dragged her down a flight of stairs. He missed a number of pre-season practices for his legal trouble – and the NFL has suspended Hill from the first game of the season for a marijuana possession misdemeanor that took place earlier this year and just a month before the domestic violence incident.

Prosecutors began to suspect witness tampering when Hill’s girlfriend went from cooperating with the investigation to being difficult. She then stopped showing up to her job and did not appear for a court date. A few days before her disappearance, her car was spotted parked at Hill’s residence. Hill’s domestic violence attorney says that neither he nor Hill is aware of the location of the girlfriend or the new witness tampering allegations.

New Study: Divorce Can Be A Better Decision For Kids

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

It’s common to hear someone say that they are staying with their spouse for the sake of their children – but new research is questioning whether or not divorce can help your children in the long run if staying together means continuing to fight and argue.

A new study, conducted by researchers including Constance Gager, examined how the adult children of parents who divorced fared in relationships in comparison to children who grew up in high-conflict homes in which their parents stayed together. The study followed 7,000 couples beginning in 1987 and included interviews with both parents and with children over the age of 10 years. Parents were asked over a span of years to rate how much conflict existed in the marriage, while children aged 18 to 34 were asked how they happy they were in their current relationships. The study found that children who grew up with divorced parents were happier in their own romantic pursuits than the children of parents who argued for years without splitting – even when factoring the individual personalities of the children.

Researchers believe that exposure to parental conflicts has long-term effects on children and how they understand relationships work. Of course, the study does not take into account the short-term effects of divorce on children.

The study also found that the children of happily married couples had more successful and happy relationships, many children of low-conflict families also faced troubles in their own love lives.

New Study: Divorce Affects High School Dropout Rate

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

While one new study on divorce and children found that divorce is better for kids than staying in a high-conflict relationship, another recent study has connected divorce with high rates of school dropouts, especially if a child’s parent goes through more than one divorce.

According to the study, children who deal with any large family change have a higher chance of not finishing high school – and the more family changes that take place, the greater the changes grow. For example, a child whose parents divorce may have a larger chance of dropping out of school, while a child who also faces a death in the family, a remarriage, or another divorce may have even more difficulty finishing school.

The study tracked almost 10,000 children starting in 1984 and ending in 2004. While the majority of couples stayed together, about 1,300 divorced and 172 suffered a death. About 280 families saw two large family chances while about 50 saw three chances. While more than 78 percent of those in two-parent households graduated from high school by age 20, only 60 percent of those who went through a big family change graduated in the same amount of time. The study also concluded that the younger a child is during a divorce, the more they can be affected.

The researches warned against generalizations about divorce, saying that divorce can be a good choice for children, especially when conflict, abuse, or other dysfunctions create an unstable environment for kids.

Women Rarely Turn To Their Fathers For Divorce Support – But Why?

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

This month the Wall Street Journal published a feature article that centered on adult women and their relationships with their fathers – a topic that many don’t stop to examine. However, when one woman was going through a divorce, she realized that she was relying on her mother for emotional support, but not her father.

Some women interviewed claimed that their mothers were simply easier to talk to when it came to divorces and tough emotions. Others said that they didn’t know how to begin a conversation about their personal lives with sometimes distant fathers, while still others said that they feared that speaking about divorce with their fathers might make them sad or upset. Fathers responded that after being used to protecting their daughters from the world, hearing about divorce made them feel like they had failed, or that they couldn’t make the situation better. However, most dads agreed that they would like to help their child through their divorce in whatever way possible.

Relationship experts believe that although sons understand how to best communicate with their fathers, women and men might approach conversations differently, with men looking for immediate solutions and women looking for a friendly and understanding ear. Some fathers have found it easier to communicate through writing or even poetry, while others simply needed to realize the differences in communication and work from there.

The expert’s advice? Start talking to each other – perhaps first about everyday topics – and then slowly toward more emotional topics. It always helps to have another loved one to talk to during tough times.

Washington Man Loses Custody Of Children Over Medical Pot Use

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

Did you know that your Washington State child custody case could suffer just because you take a prescribed drug for medical reasons? Unfortunately, when the drug you are taking is medical marijuana, you can lose child visitation rights even though you aren’t breaking the law.

This very thing happened to Washington State resident Nicholas Pouch, who can’t have his children visit his idyllic 20-acre farm in Matlock. The reason? His ex-wife brought up his medical marijuana past with their child custody judge. Now, even though he was never charged as a criminal, Pouch only sees his children twice a month, supervised and in a neutral location.

Even though Washington laws say that medical marijuana users should not be penalized “or denied any right or privilege,” many are facing tough critics when it comes to child custody and child visitation cases. Some say that the decisions are correct, and that children should not be exposed to pot smoking, but others say that medical marijuana shouldn’t be seen as different from other prescription drugs.

Many judges wonder a parent who is under the influence of marijuana is capable of safely parenting a child, though others bring up parents who watch children even while on powerful painkillers. However, marijuana is still illegal under federal law.

At this point, Washington judges are coming to different decisions regarding the matter – while one judge as awarded visitation rights as long as another adult is present, another ruled that a father can’t be within a quarter-mile of his sons, despite his otherwise acceptable past as a caring father.

Seattle's Love Lab: Can Marriage Education Prevent Divorce?

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 08:00:00 EST

What would the world be like if we could accurately predict if a relationship would end in divorce? At the Gottman Relationship Institute in Seattle – also know as the Love Lab – scientists, psychologists, and therapists have been working for decades to answer that question.

Through years of observing couples – both couples in successful marriages and couples that end their relationship with divorce – John Gottman and his researchers say they can now predict whether or not a marriage will last with a 90 percent accuracy rate. He uses that information to help teach couples how to better communicate, both through workshops and books.

According to a recent article in the Washington Post, marriage education may be the next step for couples trying to make their relationships last. The government is even giving some couples – like those with one or more spouse in the armed services – free workshops to keep marriages strong. Much of the research shows that marriages don’t end because of stress, money, or other irreconcilable differences (they have found that all marriages include irreconcilable differences), marriages end because couples do not know how to properly argue with each other, which can lead to contempt and resentment.

Two suggestions Gottman has for all couples? Empathy – putting yourself in your partner’s shoes – and parroting – repeating how your partner feels about an issue back to your partner, and vice versa, until you both understand the other’s thoughts.

Seattle Dad Gives Advice About Making Shared Child Custody Work

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:00:00 EST

This week in USA Today, a feature story explored how dads who don’t live with their kids year-round can continue to be involved with their children’s lives even after a painful divorce and even if they only have partial custody.

One of the fathers profiled in the piece and about divorce, dads, and child custody was 45-year-old Seattle father Jim Lapan. Lapan was married for 13 years but go divorced three years ago. The couple shares custody of their 11-year-old son, who spends weeknight with one parent and weeknights with the other, alternating each month. While the couple’s relationship no longer worked romantically, Lapan says that he and his ex-wife work hard together to successfully parent their son. What is the most important aspect of their ongoing parenting relationship? Communication. They make sure that discipline is consistent, along with the rest of the boy’s care.

Other fathers in the piece thought of creative ways to keep in touch with their children after a divorce and despite distance – one father sent his ex-wife pre-paid envelopes that she would fill with his children’s art projects, notes, and school accomplishments. Others are taking advantage of new technology, such as text messages, video chat, and cell phone calls.

The general trend is encouraging – many more dads today truly want to continue good, lasting relationships with their children after divorce than just a few decades ago. And a few creative ideas and leaps in technology make it easier for dads to keep in contact even if partial custody, limited visitation, and geography get in the way.

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