Moving In With Your Parents After A Divorce

Divorce turns your world upside down—and it can often leave you reeling. Women with children, especially, can find themselves in a situation where they lack financial support, childcare options, and even a place to live. For many, moving back home to live with their parents in the wake of a divorce is a solution for many of these issues – and one that can also provide emotional support and consistency after a time of turbulence.

Although moving home after a divorce can be a wonderful opportunity to transition to your new life, settle your finances, and get support from your family, it also comes with a unique set of issues. Here are a few tips that can make your return home rewarding and successful:

• Lay out ground rules before moving in. When moving home with your parents, never assume anything. Before you set foot in the door, sit down with your parents and write out rules and obligations. Will you be paying rent and splitting bills? Will you be grocery shopping? Will your things be relegated to one room or one part of the house? This list of rules will help squelch many disagreements before they happen.
• Have a frank discussion about child care. Having your family around means having built-in opportunities for child care. However, you and your parents may disagree on how involved other family members should be regarding babysitting. Outline specific activities or times of day for grandma and grandpa (like dinner time, bed time, or bath time) and let them know if your children need to be watched while you are at work. The more you communicate, the better.
• Realize you are a guest. It can be easy to revert to your teenaged years when you move home to your parents – they may even offer to cook, wash your clothes, and pay the bills as youemotionally process your divorce. However, it is important to resist this help after you have been home for a few weeks or months. Pitch in, give your family their own space, and respect the rules of their home.
• Have a timeline for moving out. Even if your arrangement works out well, you and your parents may have different ideas about when you will be leaving and how long you need their help and support. While you don’t have to set a specific date, let them know your goals for getting your own place, such as “I will move out once I have a certain amount of money saved,” or, “I will move out by the end of the year.”