Divorce turns your world upside down -- and it can often leave you scrambling to get your life in order. Parents with children especially can find themselves in a situation in which they lack financial support, childcare options, and even a place to live. For some adults, moving back home to live with their parents in the wake of a divorce is a workable solution – and one that also can provide emotional support and consistency in a time of turbulence (just be cautious processing everybody's advice about your divorce).
Although moving in with your parents after a divorce can be a wonderful opportunity to transition to a new life, settle your finances, and get support from your family, it also comes with a unique set of issues.
Tips to Make Moving in with Parents after Divorce a Success
- Lay out ground rules before moving in. When moving home with your parents, never assume anything. Before you set foot in the door, sit down with your parents and write out rules and obligations. Will you pay rent and split bills? Will you do the grocery shopping? Will your things be relegated to one room or one part of the house? This list of rules will help squelch many disagreements before they happen.
- Have a frank discussion about child care. Having your family around means having built-in opportunities for child care. However, you and your parents may disagree on how involved other family members should be regarding babysitting. Outline specific activities or times of day (like dinner time, bath time, or bedtime) for Grandma and Grandpa and let them know if your children need to be watched while you are at work. The more you communicate, the better.
- Realize you are a guest. It can be easy to revert to your teenage years when you move home to your parents' house. They may even offer to cook, wash your clothes, and pay the bills as you emotionally process your divorce. However, it is important to resist this help after you have been home for a few weeks or months. Pitch in, give your family their own space, and respect the rules of their home.
- Make time for yourself. Moving back in with your parents is a great way to surround yourself with the love and support of your family. However, it's important to remain independent during this time and not rely on their support completely. Take time during your stay to focus on your own mental health, keep up with your social life, and retain your independence.
- Have a timeline for moving out. Even if the arrangement works out well, you and your parents may have different ideas about when you will leave and how long you will need their help and support. While you don’t have to set a specific date, let them know your goals for getting your own place, such as “I will move out once I have a certain amount of money saved,” or “I will move out by the end of the year.”
There's More to Know About Life after Divorce -- We Can Help
Every adult going through a divorce needs a strong divorce attorney on his or her side. The Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny can help you. Contact us online or call us at 425-460-0550 for help with your divorce case.