Washington Legal News: Seattle Divorce & Domestic Violence Lawyer

When it comes to divorce, child custody, and domestic violence, you are not alone – far from it. Stories of ending marriages, custody battles, and abused love are in the news every day, both on a national level and right here in the greater Seattle area. We can learn a lot from these current events stories, both about Washington law and others who may share similar experiences with you. Below, please read our collection of Washington legal news stories.

News Category: All CategoriesDivorce and PropertyDomestic ViolenceChild Custody and SupportGeneral

Divorce and Property

• New Study: Divorce Can Be A Better Decision For Kids
  Jul 15, 2010

  It’s common to hear someone say that they are staying with their spouse for the sake of their children – but new research is questioning whether or not divorce can help your children in the long run if staying together means continuing to fight and argue.
  
  A new study, conducted by researchers including Constance Gager, examined how the adult children of parents who divorced fared in relationships in comparison to children who grew up in high-conflict homes in which their parents stayed together. The study followed 7,000 couples beginning in 1987 and included interviews with both parents and with children over the age of 10 years. Parents were asked over a span of years to rate how much conflict existed in the marriage, while children aged 18 to 34 were asked how they happy they were in their current relationships. The study found that children who grew up with divorced parents were happier in their own romantic pursuits than the children of parents who argued for years without splitting – even when factoring the individual personalities of the children.
  
  Researchers believe that exposure to parental conflicts has long-term effects on children and how they understand relationships work. Of course, the study does not take into account the short-term effects of divorce on children.
  
  The study also found that the children of happily married couples had more successful and happy relationships, many children of low-conflict families also faced troubles in their own love lives.
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• New Study: Divorce Affects High School Dropout Rate
  Jul 14, 2010

  While one new study on divorce and children found that divorce is better for kids than staying in a high-conflict relationship, another recent study has connected divorce with high rates of school dropouts, especially if a child’s parent goes through more than one divorce.
  
  According to the study, children who deal with any large family change have a higher chance of not finishing high school – and the more family changes that take place, the greater the changes grow. For example, a child whose parents divorce may have a larger chance of dropping out of school, while a child who also faces a death in the family, a remarriage, or another divorce may have even more difficulty finishing school.
  
  The study tracked almost 10,000 children starting in 1984 and ending in 2004. While the majority of couples stayed together, about 1,300 divorced and 172 suffered a death. About 280 families saw two large family chances while about 50 saw three chances. While more than 78 percent of those in two-parent households graduated from high school by age 20, only 60 percent of those who went through a big family change graduated in the same amount of time. The study also concluded that the younger a child is during a divorce, the more they can be affected.
  
  The researches warned against generalizations about divorce, saying that divorce can be a good choice for children, especially when conflict, abuse, or other dysfunctions create an unstable environment for kids.
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• Women Rarely Turn To Their Fathers For Divorce Support – But Why?
  Jul 13, 2010

  This month the Wall Street Journal published a feature article that centered on adult women and their relationships with their fathers – a topic that many don’t stop to examine. However, when one woman was going through a divorce, she realized that she was relying on her mother for emotional support, but not her father.
  
  Some women interviewed claimed that their mothers were simply easier to talk to when it came to divorces and tough emotions. Others said that they didn’t know how to begin a conversation about their personal lives with sometimes distant fathers, while still others said that they feared that speaking about divorce with their fathers might make them sad or upset. Fathers responded that after being used to protecting their daughters from the world, hearing about divorce made them feel like they had failed, or that they couldn’t make the situation better. However, most dads agreed that they would like to help their child through their divorce in whatever way possible.
  
  Relationship experts believe that although sons understand how to best communicate with their fathers, women and men might approach conversations differently, with men looking for immediate solutions and women looking for a friendly and understanding ear. Some fathers have found it easier to communicate through writing or even poetry, while others simply needed to realize the differences in communication and work from there.
  
  The expert’s advice? Start talking to each other – perhaps first about everyday topics – and then slowly toward more emotional topics. It always helps to have another loved one to talk to during tough times.
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• Seattle’s Love Lab: Can Marriage Education Prevent Divorce?
  Jul 09, 2010

  What would the world be like if we could accurately predict if a relationship would end in divorce? At the Gottman Relationship Institute in Seattle – also know as the Love Lab – scientists, psychologists, and therapists have been working for decades to answer that question.
  
  Through years of observing couples – both couples in successful marriages and couples that end their relationship with divorce – John Gottman and his researchers say they can now predict whether or not a marriage will last with a 90 percent accuracy rate. He uses that information to help teach couples how to better communicate, both through workshops and books.
  
  According to a recent article in the Washington Post, marriage education may be the next step for couples trying to make their relationships last. The government is even giving some couples – like those with one or more spouse in the armed services – free workshops to keep marriages strong. Much of the research shows that marriages don’t end because of stress, money, or other irreconcilable differences (they have found that all marriages include irreconcilable differences), marriages end because couples do not know how to properly argue with each other, which can lead to contempt and resentment.
  
  Two suggestions Gottman has for all couples? Empathy – putting yourself in your partner’s shoes – and parroting – repeating how your partner feels about an issue back to your partner, and vice versa, until you both understand the other’s thoughts.
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• Study: Parents With Autistic Kids Not More Likely To Divorce
  Jun 20, 2010

  A study conducted by the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at the Kennedy Krieger Institute has determined that the parents of autistic children are no more likely to divorce than those with unaffected children. This new study breaks the long-held belief that parents with children who suffer from autism spectrum disorders are almost certainly doomed to divorce following a diagnosis. In fact, the well-circulated statistic that 80 percent of couple with autistic children divorce is no more than an urban legend.
  
  The new poll, which will be presented at the International Meeting for Autism Research this week, surveyed 77,911 families around the country with children 17 years of age and younger. While 64 percent of children with autism were being raised by two parents, 65 percent of children without autism were raised in two-parent households. The difference was not statistically significant.
  
  Many believed that an autism diagnosis puts a large strain on marriages – children with autism often need large amounts of attention and time, while raising a child with autism is significantly more expensive than other children. The behavioral problems that are often associated with autism can cause large amounts of stress in a family, while parents may also disagree on treatment options and other decisions.
  
  The man who conducted the autism and divorce study, Brian Freedman, is going to continue to research the subject, this time in hopes of determining what factors and strategies are used in the families that are able to successfully stay together in the face of the challenge of an autism diagnosis.
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• What Increases Your Chances Of Divorce? Researchers Chime In.
  Jun 19, 2010

  Ever wonder if scientists could have predicted your divorce before you were even married? In a new book, For Better or Worse: The Science of a Good Marriage, author Tara Parker-Hope explores the research conducted to date regarding reasons for divorce, successful marriages, and indicators of relationships that work. While the divorce rate continues to fall in Washington State, and while parents are getting better and better at choosing a lifemate, there is still much we don’t know about what creates a working marriage and what leads to divorce.
  
  Here are a few facts and figures that we do know:
  
  •    The current divorce rate in the United States is about 45 percent – the lowest it has been since the 1970s.
  •    Red states have higher divorce rates than blue states, possibly because these states have cultures that includes marriage at a younger age.
  •    If your parents are divorced, you are 40 percent more likely to go through a divorce yourself. If your parents remarried, you are over 90 percent more likely to go through a divorce.
  •    If you have been divorced before, you have a 90 percent higher chance of becoming divorced again in the future.
  •    Families with daughters are slightly more at risk for divorce than families with sons.
  •    Couples in which the women is three or more years older have a 50 percent higher chance of divorce than couples in which the woman is only one year older or in which the man is up to three years older.
  •    Couples tested as having below average intelligence are 50 percent more likely to get divorced than couple who tested as having above average intelligence.
  •    If you have twins or multiple births, your marriage is 17 percent more likely to end in divorce.
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• Kitsap Woman Gets Finances In Order After Divorce
  May 15, 2010

  The Money Makeover column in the April 10 edition of the Seattle Times dealt with a common problem for those going through a Washington State divorce: getting back on your feet after a financially stressful divorce.
  
  The column focused on 30-year-old Kitsap resident Renee Hernandez, a woman who found herself in an utterly new and very depressing financial situation in the wake of her WA divorce. After her marriage, Hernandez found that she and her husband didn’t have much in common when it came to money matters – while Hernandez was a spendthrift, her husband led her into a more extravagant lifestyle that left her more than $300,000 in debt by the time her Washington divorce was finalized last year.
  
  Although Hernandez struggled to keep up with her payments by starting a second job, taking on renters, and pinching pennies, she finally gave in and declared bankruptcy to rid herself of much of her old debt – and get a start on her new life.
  
  Ken Smith, chief executive officer at Empirical Wealth Management in Seattle, helped Hernandez further by helping her make a plan to save for retirement, rebuild her credit, and pay off her student loans.
  
  Hernandez learned, like so many others, that a marriage to someone with different financial values and philosophies can be difficult – and recovering from a divorce fraught with past money woes can be even tougher. However, smart money management and a new start can often help you get back on your feet and allow you to find the happiness and control that you were looking for. - 7 - 10

• Study: Marital Discord Is Bad For Your Health
  May 12, 2010

  Studies going back for hundreds of years have established that being married can lead to a longer, healthier life – a life with lower rates of cancer, surgery, heart disease, dementia, and pneumonia. However, newer and better studies have found that having a healthier and happier life is not as easy as simply getting hitched; in fact, gaining the benefits of marriage necessitates a happy, working marriage, not just any marriage. Not only will a contentious or troubled marriage erase the benefits of a stable marriage, these new studies have found that a stressed marriage can harm one’s health significantly.
  
  In one study, scientists and psychologists have found that there is a deep connection between a person’s immune system and their stress and mental health state. The results were conclusive: women who were either unhappily married or still struggling with divorce had low white blood cell counts (weakened immune systems) while women who were in happy marriages or happily single had higher white blood cell counts. Another study found that even a fight between husband and wife will lower the immune system’s strength over the next day.
  
  Others studies have found that staying in a bad marriage can lead to stress hormones, depression, mood swings, a weakened immune system, increased chances of developing diabetes, chronic illness outbreaks, and an increased chance of heart disease.
  
  The bottom line, researchers say, is that while it is important to work through the issues in your relationship and solve your problems, it is not always better for your physical health to stay married in the long run. - 8 - 10

• New Study: Miscarriages And Stillbirth Can Increase Chances Of Divorce
  Apr 07, 2010

  You might have heard that money problems, affairs, or irreconcilable differences can lead to divorce in Washington State – but what about losing a baby? According to a new study conducted by the University of Michigan Medical School and published in the journal Pediatrics, married couples are significantly more likely to divorce if they have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth.
  
  Specifically, the study found that couples who experienced the death of after the 20-week mark, during labor, or soon after labor were 40 percent more likely to divorce after the incident, while those who suffer a miscarriage are 22 percent more likely to separate. The study followed 7,700 couples over a 15-year span. While a large percentage of couples whose marriage did not survive the loss of a baby separated within three years, it was found that the death of a baby or a pregnancy loss could affect a marriage even ten years down the road.
  
  Researchers say that many of the couples were already experiencing relationship problems and the experience of a pregnancy loss simply pushed them over the edge. Other couples struggle after one partner takes the loss in a different way than the other – or when one can’t understand the way the other has chosen to mourn. While some couples were brought closer together by tragedy, others simply couldn’t continue their relationship.
  
  Those who conducted this study say that simply knowing that the loss of a baby can threaten your marriage could help those going through the process recognize that they may need extra counseling, respect each other’s differences, and ask each other for support. - 9 - 10

• Living Together Before Marriage Doesn’t Lead To Divorce In Seattle
  Mar 29, 2010

  Traditionally, a couple should share a home before they tie the knot – but is there a reason for this rule to exist? While many perpetuate the myth that living together before marriage will lead to divorce, a new study shows that whether or not a couple chooses to cohabitate before taking their vows doesn’t have a significant impact on the fate or success of the marriage.
  
  A new study released by the National Center for Health Statistics and based on the National Survey of Family Growth conducted in 2002 shows that while couples who don’t live together before they are engaged or married have a slightly better chance of staying married, living together before the wedding day does not significantly hurt your chances at happiness.
  
  Out of the 13,000 people surveyed, 65 percent of women were married successfully for ten years, while 66 percent of women who waited to live with their husbands lasted a decade without divorce. For me, 69 percent lasted ten years married while 71 percent lasted ten years married after waiting to move in with their partner. Generally, an unmarried couple who lives together but never makes it official has a 55 percent chance of staying together for ten years.
  
  While the differences between couples who live together before marriage and couples who wait are very slim, all couples who marry have an advantage over those who move in but don’t make vows. This adds weight to the importance of defining a relationship and making official plans for the future. In the end, making a commitment remains to be a more important step than sharing rent or a mortgage. - 10 - 10