What does “conscious uncoupling” mean exactly, and how might this differ from a typical divorce or separation?

A divorce or a legal separation can be a very difficult, and often stressful, time for each party involved. Anger, suspicions, denial, confusion, relief, and grief are just a few types of emotions that you might be feeling throughout this process.

If you’re looking for a way to avoid some of this frustration, one option could be to follow the now popularized by Hollywood “conscious uncoupling” method.

So How Is a “Conscious Uncoupling” Different From Most Divorces?

A conscious uncoupling features these requirements:

  • The airing of grievances – This involves both parties sharing their frustrations and listening to the other’s points of view. This can be done with the help of a therapist or mediator to help aid in the process of keeping things amicable.
  • Burying the anger – This is a crucial part of the process, because this allows for healing to occur, even if the relationship is ending. Learning to move past the anger and forgive allows both parties to maintain the bond they share, even if the romantic commitment to each other has ceased.
  • Caring for each other because of your relationship – The goal is to focus on your former partner’s strengthening positives rather than emphasizing the negatives throughout the future.

Ultimately, the idea is to have a thoughtful and thorough completion of a relationship or marriage. All efforts should be made to end the union with closure and amity.

This can be different from a typical divorce because the primary focus is not on who gets the house in Bellevue, how’s the money going to get divided, or whether Issaquah or Bellevue has a better school district for the kids to live in. Rather, the end attempt is to aid both individuals in finding healing and wholeness through divorce. In the end, no one is “the bad guy,” and the entire family can remain as unified as possible under the circumstances.

All of those things do have to be considered, but ultimately happen as secondary issues, and not as the primary, “get what you’re rightfully owed” result.

Do you have any thoughts on the idea of “conscious uncoupling” vs. a more common divorce or legal separation? Want to learn more? Connect with Molly and the rest of the team on Facebook or Twitter to learn more.

Molly B. Kenny
Founder and Principal Divorce Attorney
Molly B. Kenny's Bellevue family law office is conveniently located on Lake Bellevue Drive, making it easily accessible to those in the greater Seattle area. Our divorce and child custody lawyers help men and women get the information, guidance, and compassionate representation they need.
Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny