What Your Children Need To Hear From You During A Divorce

For many people, the absolute hardest part about divorce is having to disprupt your children’s lives and having to explain to your children that their parents simply are no longer right for each other.

While there are many topics that should be covered as you explain your divorce to your children, there are a few things that almost all children need to hear when their parents are splitting up:

•    You are loved. You are loved by both of your parents, and you are loved by your friends and your family.
•    Your needs will be met. No matter which parent you are with, you will have a warm place to sleep, enough to eat, and the love and support you need.
•    We are here to listen to you. We are here to listen to your fears. We are are here to listen to what happened to you at school. We are interested in what you have to say.
•    It is okay to upset and angry. Divorce is upsetting for everyone, and for you of all people, it is normal to be angry at life and at us.
•    The divorce is not your fault. In fact, the divorce has nothing to do with you. In fact, the most upsetting part of this divorce for us is that you have been affected by it.
•    This is the right decision for us. A lot of thought went into it. Trust that we are doing the right thing. 
•    The important things will stay the same. Our love for you won’t change. Your friends won’t change. The dog will be here.
•    We will continue to talk to you about this. We will communicate what’s going on with you. This isn’t a taboo subject. You are an important, contributing member of the family who will be included.

Be sure that this isn’t the only conversation that you have with your kids – and that it’s clear that they can bring up the subject in the future, too. And, as always, consider therapy for your children if they are struggling with the transition.
Molly B. Kenny
Founder and Principal Divorce Attorney
Molly B. Kenny's Bellevue family law office is conveniently located on Lake Bellevue Drive, making it easily accessible to those in the greater Seattle area. Our divorce and child custody lawyers help men and women get the information, guidance, and compassionate representation they need.
Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny