Reconciling with Your Ex-Spouse? Tips for Success the Second Time Around

According to a RadarOnline report, Jennifer Carpenter and Michael Hall, stars of the TV show, Dexter, were seen having a romantic dinner together on January 17, 2012 in Beverly Hills, just a month after their divorce was finalized. The couple separated in August of 2010 following rumors of Michael's infidelity.

Jennifer and Michael's rumored reconciliation is not uncommon - in fact, Michele Weiner Davis, founder of the Divorce Busting Center and author of Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage believes that about 10 percent of the population remarries their former spouses.

Statistics for remarriages are not good - about 60% of remarriages fail, according to Psychology Today. But if you are considering remarrying your former spouse, marriage experts Sheri and Bob Stritof suggest following these tips:

  • It is important to get back together because you truly love one another, and not because you think it will be best for your children.
  • If you have children, keep quiet about your dating or potential reconciliation until you have had a chance to make sure it is the route you want to take. This will prevent your children from getting their hopes up or putting pressure on the two of you.
  • Take some time to think about what went wrong the first time around. Visiting a marriage counselor will allow you to discuss the problems that led to the demise of your marriage and brainstorm ways to prevent these problems from destroying your relationship a second time. 
  • Agree to maintain open, honest communication, especially about your expectations and desires. Game playing will only lead to problems. Taking a communications course together can help you both work on these skills.
  • Forgive and forget. Holding onto the emotions and problems from your first marriage will never allow you to successfully build a new relationship with one another. That being said, make sure that the issues that caused conflict in the past have been addressed and resolved.
Molly B. Kenny
Founder and Principal Divorce Attorney
Molly B. Kenny's Bellevue family law office is conveniently located on Lake Bellevue Drive, making it easily accessible to those in the greater Seattle area. Our divorce and child custody lawyers help men and women get the information, guidance, and compassionate representation they need.
Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny