Most couples who are married or in a domestic partnership have shared friends. As such, a separation can be not only emotional for the divorcing couple, but trying in terms of how to share friends after divorce. If you’re in the middle of a divorce, here are some tips for dividing your friends.
Discuss it With Your Ex
Before either of you does something that you’ll regret, the best course of action is always to talk about it first. Figure out exactly what you want your friend situation to look like post-divorce, and engage your ex in a conversation about it. Chances are, you’ll come to an agreement that works well for both of you.
Set Some Boundaries
It can be tempting to use friends as weapons by filling their heads up with stories about how awful your ex was to you. The unfortunate thing that often happens when you gossip and trash someone else, is that your confidante may wonder if you talk behind his or her back too, and this can lead to feelings of mistrust and distancing.
The best way to discourage negative talk is to go straight to the source - your ex - and suggest a ban on using mutual friends as sounding boards.
Find a New Social Circle
If you have lifelong friends, they’ll be your lifelong friends regardless of your marital status. But because hanging out with those friends can be difficult with your spouse around, too, consider finding a new social circle to be a part of while things cool down. Divorce support groups are a great place to start. Or, find a hobby that you love and join a group that participates in that activity. You can even reach out to a coworker to make a new friend.
Talk to Your Friends
Finally, talk to your friends about what you’re going through, and remind them that their support—especially at such a crucial moment in your life—is important. Also, let your friends know how much you value their friendship and want them in your life. Since divorce is not uncommon, maybe you can practice your listening skills a bit and ask your friends if they have any advice for you on how to pursue an amicable divorce.
Need more tips when going through a divorce?
Dividing friends in a divorce is just one of the many things you’ll have to cope with when separating from your spouse. At the Law Offices of Molly B. Kenny, our divorce team can help you through every step of the process. To learn more, contact us at 425-460-0550 now.